Unlocking the Power of Words: Understanding Verbal Communication

1. Chapter 3 Understanding Verbal Messages

2. Preview of Chapter 3 • Why Focus on Language? • What is a Language? • What are the Characteristics of Language? • How Can Language be Used Effectively?

3. Effectively use and interpret verbal messages Communication Principles

4. Why Focus on Language? Words are powerful… • Power to create and label experience • Power to impact thoughts • Power to impact behavior • Power to reflect attitudes and culture

5. 1. Power to Create & Label Experience • Words label experiences making them “real.” • Words give us tools to create and understand our world by naming what we experience. • It is difficult to get our point across if there is no label for a word. • Example: Alzheimer’s disease • Example: Sexual harassment

6. 2. Power to Impact Thoughts Sapir-Whorf Hypothesis: • Human language and thought are so interrelated that thought is actually rooted in and controlled by language. • The way people think is strongly affected by their native languages (language shapes reality). We are bound by the restraints of our language. • It is difficult to think about something if there is no word or language for it. • Example: “I just bought a Puce dress.” • If the friend does not have a frame of reference for the color, she cannot conceive of it.

8. 3. Power to Impact Behavior • Does the language you use change your behavior? • Do you ever find that you are a different person with different people? • Language has the power to affect how we think and respond to something. • Example: Pheobe meets her boyfriend’s parents http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cc7quH-i_0w • Example: Ayds (weight loss product introduced in the 1980’s – disappeared from the market)

9. 4. Power to Reflect Culture • Culture consists of the rules, norms, and values of a group of people that have been learned and shaped from one generation to the next. • What are examples of “RGV” or “Texas words?” • How does this reflect our culture?

10. 5. Power to Make or Break Relationships • Verbal communication creates opportunities for us to know and be known by others. • Words are important to establish relationships, however, it can also be a catalyst for a relationship to end. • We use language to alter to get others to alter their behavior.

11. Biased Language • Words are powerful, and can be hurtful, therefore we should avoid biased language!

12. Biased Language • Sexist or exclusive language • Policeman • “You Guys” • Talking about my boss - “Why did he do that?” • Heterosexist or homophobic language • Assuming that because someone is a female that she should have a boyfriend (visa versa) • Age and ability • “Oh sweetie, Oh honey..”

13. Ability http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T549VoLca_Q

14. Biased Language Take-Away

15. What are the Characteristics of Language? • Words stimulate denotative and connotative meanings. • Words stimulate concrete and abstract meanings. • Words are culture-bound. • Words are context-bound.

16. 1. Denotative & Connotative Meanings • Denotative restrictive and literal. • Connotative personal and subjective. • Example: Apartment • Denotative meaning: “A room or suite of rooms used as a residence.” • Connotative meaning: What comes to mind? • Example: Hollywood • Denotative meaning: the NW part of Los Angeles, CA.; center of the American motion-picture industry. • Connotative meaning: Sex, drugs, movies, stars, etc.

17. 2. Concrete & Abstract Meanings • A word is concrete if we can see it, touch it, smell it, taste it, or hear it. If we cannot, the word is abstract. • Concrete messages are more clear; abstract terms are more difficult to understand or agree upon. • Example concrete: voting, swimming • Example abstract: love, patriotism, God

18. Song exampleTim McGraw “Back When”

19. What is Bypassing? • Bypassing can be problematic • A communication problem that arises when the same words means different things to different people • Example: Time • Even the literal translation of Spanish words/phrases can be problematic. The connotative meaning is much different than the denotative. • Example: Conan O’brien: Diego Luna: 2:37 http://www.latinorebels.com/2013/08/07/must-watch-video-diego-luna-teaches-conan-about-nomames/

20. 3.Words Are Culture-Bound • Words have different meanings across cultures. • Example: Nova • English: bright star • Latin: new • Spanish: no va

21. 4. Words Are Context-Bound • Symbols derive their meaning from the situation in which they are used. • The context of verbal messages plays a central role in how accurately they are interpreted by receivers. • “My words were taken out of context!” • Example: • Original statement – “It’s so hot today, I would kill someone for air conditioning.” • Re-told – “Alyssa said she would kill someone.”

22. How Can Language Be Used Effectively? • Use words to establish supportive relationships • Use language to create a climate of trust, caring, and acceptance • Avoid defensive language that creates a climate of hostility and mistrust

23. How Can Language Be Used Effectively? • Describe rather than evaluate others • Empathize rather than remain detached • Be flexible rather than rigid • Present yourself as an equal rather than a superior • Avoid gunny-sacking

24. How Can Language Be Used Effectively? • Describe rather than evaluate others • One way to avoid evaluating others is by using “I” statements instead of “You” statements. • “You” statement: “You always say you’ll call but you never do!” • “I” statement: “I feel upset when you say you’ll call but you don’t.”

25. How Can Language Be Used Effectively? • Empathize rather than remain detached • Put yourself in the other people’s shoes. • Try to understand and actually feel the feelings of others. • Be empathic, not sympathetic.

26. How Can Language Be Used Effectively? • Be flexible rather than rigid • Some people are always right, aren’t they? • “I’m right, you’re wrong.” or “This is what you should do.” • Instead consider saying, “Here’s something you may want to consider.”

27. How Can Language Be Used Effectively? • Present yourself as an equal rather than a superior • “Pulling rank” does not usually produce a supportive climate • Do not use jargon words to simply impress others or project some image • Do not over simplify words because you think a person may not understand

28. How Can Language Be Used Effectively? • Avoid gunny-sacking • Dredging up someone's mistakes and linking them to a current situation • “We buried the hatchet; we left the handle sticking out”

29. Assessment • Define Sapir-Whorf Hypothesis • What is a denotative meaning?

30. Review of Chapter 3 • Why Focus on Language? • What is a Language? • What are the Characteristics of Language? • How Can Language be Used Effectively?