Guide to Good Sentences Part II

1. Guide to Good Sentences Part II Matt Barton

2. Learning to Write Well • Writing graceful, memorable, and effective prose is difficult but rewarding. • Developing good style requires • Experience in diverse rhetorical situations • Knowledge and application of general rules • Imitation of good techniques • Reflection on past failures and successes

3. Today’s Topics • Words • Sentences • Tone

4. Word Choices • Find the best words to express your thoughts. • Five criteria: • Precision: Does this word mean exactly what I need it to mean? • Familiarity: Will my audience understand the term? Will it seem strange to them? • Appropriateness: Is this term politically and rhetorically acceptable to my audience? • Strength: Is this word powerful and evocative enough? • Sound and Length: Will the term sound good in the sentence?

5. Precision • Some writers lack a healthy vocabulary. They try to compensate with adverbs: • This flower is extremely pretty. • This soup is like totally not cold! • More experienced writers will use a more precise and economical term: • This flower is beautiful. • This soup is scalding!

6. One Minute Prompt #1 • Write a one-word replacement for the following phrases: • Very, very sad; like totally extremely large; far beyond challenging

7. Precision • Avoid words that don’t quite match what you are trying to get across: • During the battle, many soldiers murdered one another. • Ensure words accurately reflect your intended meaning: • During the battle, many soldiers {destroyed, eliminated, defeated} one another.

8. Precision • Words have a denotationand connotation. Be aware of both when selecting a term. • A denotation is the literal meaning of a term. • Screw: twisting action • A connotation is the associated meaning. • Screw: to have sex or cheat someone • Since screw has potentially questionable connotations, avoid it.

9. Precision Consider the slightly different meaning of each of these sentences: • Inexperienced writers tend to make lots of comma errors. • This sentence implies that comma errors result from a lack of experience or practice writing. • Student writers tend to make lots of comma errors. • This sentence suggests that most students make comma errors. • Careless writers tend to make lots of comma errors. • This sentence suggests that comma errors are caused by sloppiness or laziness—a judgment of the writers’ character.

10. Thesaurus Tips • A thesaurus can be useful, but only to remind you, not teach you synonyms for words. • Always look up the word and synonym in a dictionary before using it. • Prefer words that you have seen in print.

11. Familiarity • Consider whether reader is familiar with a word. • If the word is unfamiliar but useful, define it—either explicitly, in a footnote or endnote, or contextually.

12. Familiarity • Consider this sentence: • Soldiers will be punished for malingering. • The term malingering means to fake being sick, usually to avoid doing work. However, many people may not know exactly what the word means.

13. Familiarity • Avoid the term: • Soldiers will be punished for faking an illness to avoid work. • Or define the term explicitly: • Soldiers will be punished for malingering, which means to fake an illness to avoid work. • Or with context: • Unless soldiers are truly ill, they should perform all tasks assigned to them. Malingering will be punished. • Once the word has been defined, use the term as often as necessary.

14. Bull, Buzzwords, Marketing • Familiarity breeds contempt. • Avoid clumsy “buzz words,” legalese, and “marketspeak.” • My seamless brainflow will solutionize your operationalization; don’t drop the ball. • We’re drinking the Google juice here and really synergizing, but we need downtime. • Due to policy, your options include but are not limited to…

15. One Minute Prompt #2 • Write a sentence with a difficult or unusual term and define it in context.

16. Appropriateness • Take time to learn about the audience and what words may be inappropriate. • Certain word choices may offend or unexpectedly amuse a given audience.

17. Appropriateness • Consider this sentences used in a speech to a group of college freshmen: • We’re really fortunate to have such fine kids as you all in our program. • Try: {students, freshmen, learners} • Or this sentence used by a man to address a group of professional women: • We’ve got to go into these negotations like real men—and not allow ourselves to be intimidated. • Try: {aggressively; forcefully; uncompromisingly}

18. Appropriateness • Consider this sentence in a local real estate guide: • The master or mistress bedroom has a wonderful walk or roll-in closet. • Words like “master bedroom,” “walk-in closet,” “lovely view,” and so on may offend someone—but this sentence just draws attention to the situation. • These words may easily be omitted and replaced with more dignified terms. • The main bedroom has a large closet that measures 5 ft x 4.5 ft.

19. Strength • To make an important point, use strong and vivid words. • Weak: This new policy is irksome. • Strong: This new policy is an abomination. • Weak: His decision was uncharitable. • Strong: His decision was greedy. • Use strong terms to make points your audience will likely agree with, and weaker terms when you are likely to face opposition.

20. Strength • Speech given to the NRA (National Rifle Association): • Any law that limits our right to own sporting rifles is a disgrace to our nation. • Audience would likely agree, so let it roar! • However, sensible policies that keep deadly assault weapons out of the hands of criminals are necessary to protect our families. • Notice how this statement, which the audience might oppose, is worded much differently than the first. Now we must tone down the volume and perform some rhetorical maneuvers .

21. Strength • In general, long, Latin terms are weaker than shorter, more direct words. • Intelligent (smart) • Lugubrious (gloomy) • Words with un- or non- in front of them are much weaker: • Not unexpected (typical) • Not unoriginal (inspired)

22. Sound & Length • Be conscious of how your sentences sound when read aloud. • Pay attention to the syllables and sound of words. • Avoid crafting “tongue twisters” that would be difficult or confusing to read aloud: • The long, lugubrious liturgy • The awful, off-handed comment

23. Sound & Length • Carefully use alliteration and assonance to enhance your writing: • The boardroom boredom • The classroom clatter • Balance mono-syllable and multi-syllable terms. • Don’t mix academic or formal sounding words with slang or informal terms: • Juxtaposing the two compound-complex sentence structures, Henry noticed that one of them was stinky.

24. Sentence Construction • Mix sentence types to create varied, memorable, and satisfying prose. • There are four types of sentences: • Simple • Compound • Complex • Compound-Complex

25. Simple Sentences • Simple sentences consist of a single independent clause: • Jesus wept. • The biggest problem facing us today is Global Warming. • Note: “facing us today” is a participial phrase. • Despite our best intentions, we have failed to purchase suitable gifts. • Note: “to purchase suitable gifts” is an infinitive phrase.

26. Compound Sentences • Compound sentences consist of two or more independent clauses: • Cats meow, and dogs bark. • The author had doubts about her novel, but the publisher was eager to publish it. • Good writers pay careful attention to their sentences; awkward or confusing sentences reduce readability.

27. Complex Sentences • Complex sentences consist of one independent clause and one or more dependent clauses: • Before dogs existed, cats ruled the earth. • I agree that you meet or exceed the qualifications that we demand for this job. • I will listen carefully to whatever you say.

28. Compound-Complex Sentences • Compound-Complex Sentences consist of two or more independent clauses and at least one dependent clause: • Since time began, cats have meowed, and dogs have barked. • If you can now identify sentence types, you are well on your way to becoming a good writer, but you still have much to learn. • After the show is over, Ted will board the plane, but Bill will catch a bus.

29. Sentence Structures • Be aware of the rhythm of your prose. • Consider this sentence: • Was this the face that launched a thousand ships and burnt the topless towers of Ilium? • This sentence is written in iambic pentameter, or da-DUM da-DUM da-DUM da-DUM da-DUM.

30. Tips for Sentence Rhythm • Let your readers breathe. Don’t write long, laborious sentences that require an iron lung to read! • Don’t get so carried away with rhythm that your sentences sound sing-song. Reserve your most poetic sentences for closings or to make critical points. • Good sentence rhythm does not draw attention to itself; leave it to readers to wonder why your sentences are so striking and memorable.

31. One Minute Prompt #3 • Write a long sentence that would be difficult (if not impossible) to effectively read aloud.

32. Sentence Endings • Always make the end of your sentences count. • Avoid ending with prepositions, verbs, or anything besides a good, strong noun: • That is a policy of which I do not approve of. • I do not approve of that policy. • You do not know how serious this problem is. • You do not know the seriousness of this problem. • You should know that this is a serious problem.

33. Sentence Beginnings • Try to avoid starting sentences with words like there isor it is. • There are many reasons why blogging is useful. • Blogging is useful for many reasons. • It is important that you proofread your papers. • Proofreading your papers is very important.

34. Tone • The tone of a piece are the words and sentences that indicate the writer’s attitude towards the audience and subject. • Treat your audiences with respect and dignity. • Offended audiences are typically not receptive to persuasive appeals.

35. Tone • The most accepted tone for essays is the formal tone. • Formal consists of • A respectful attitude towards the audience and yourself • No direct address (“you”) • No slang or colloquialisms • Careful, precise sentences

36. Formal Tone • Keep your audience in mind at all times. • Inexperienced writers will forget about their audiences as they write and edit.

37. Tone—Keeping a Distance • Formal essays maintain a “distance” from the reader. • Do not address the reader directly and don’t give commands: • “When you’re in an exciting class, you tend to pay attention. Make sure to avoid speaking in a monotone.” • “Students learn the most when they are excited about their class. Professors can make a class more exciting by speaking well and avoiding monotones.”

38. Titles • Unless you are writing a letter, you can omit titles like “Mr.” or “Dr.” from people’s names when writing. • Use the first and last name the first time you mention the person, and only the last name afterwards. • Matt Barton is a professor at St. Cloud State...Barton earned his doctorate from the University of South Florida.

39. Writing Etiquette • Never select terms which indicate a moral judgment on an individual. • Criticize facts and arguments, not people. • Avoid terms which may insult the audience. • Remain calm and keep emotions (anger, disgust, joy, bitterness) firmly in check. • Most importantly, do not be overly friendly or frank with readers—keep a professional distance.

40. Insulting Examples • Consider: • This assignment was ridiculous. • This statement suggests that the writer has a low opinion of not only the assignment, but the author of the assignment (the teacher). • While I think this assignment was unnecessary, I still managed to enjoy it. • Here, the writer insults the audience by suggesting that he/she assigned a frivolous task. Furthermore, the writer suggests that the class should be about amusement rather than learning.

41. More Tips • Do not use exclamation points in a formal essay: • The symbolism in this play is really complex! • Be careful about asking questions in a formal essay, particularly rhetorical questions: • So, how complex is the symbolism? • Why is that my thesis? • Are you wondering what my paper is about?

42. Wrapping Things Up • We have discussed many aspects of style: • Word Choices • Sentence Constructions • Tone • Remember that these features perform an important function—they demonstrate (or fail to demonstrate) your respect for your audience. • Write unto others the way you would have them write unto you.