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Pastoral Care with Children . From: Andrew D. Lester. Pastoral Care with Children in Crisis . Philadelphia: Westminster, 1985. Causes for Neglect of Children by Pastors. 1) Childhood is idealized 2) Indirect communication (play)
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Pastoral Care with Children From: Andrew D. Lester. Pastoral Care with Children in Crisis. Philadelphia: Westminster, 1985.
Causes for Neglect of Children by Pastors • 1) Childhood is idealized • 2) Indirect communication (play) • 3) Faulty assumption that children are not aware of what is going on • 4) Belief that children are adaptable with no vulnerabilities • 5) Seeing children as parent’s responsibility alone • 6) Avoiding suspicion of child abuse/molestation • 7) Seeing children as non-contributors • 8) Childcare stereo-typed as woman’s work* • 9) Lack of training • 10) Sense of inadequacy • * Peer pressure (work with children seen as “immature”)
What Children in Crisis Need from the Pastor • Accurate Empathy, Non-Possessive Warmth, & Inherent Genuineness • 1) Foster child’s competency to deal with crisis • 2) Modeling of godly attitudes & values • 3) Truthfulness (confirmation of their perceptions) • 4) Foster the sense of belonging • 5) Adult friends • 6) Someone to LISTEN • 7) Someone to accept their feelings • 8) Spiritual guidance • 9) Unconditional love
Children: Things to Know • Adoptees and step-children are more likely to be seen in counseling; grief/loss/anger • Children can become the “symptom-bearers” for the marriage or family • Takes 3-5 years for most step-family members to achieve a “sense of belonging” • Suicide among children >>>>
Suicide Among Children • Males commit 4:1 over girls • Females attempt 3:1 over boys • Methods: Males - guns, hanging (4-6 year olds) Females - drugs, CO poisoning, jump • Time of Year: Beginning & ending of school year (Oct, Nov, Dec, Jan, & Jun) • Time of Day: 12 - 4 P.M. (adults 3 - 5 A.M.) • Brightest, most talented; Protestant; from broken family
Basic Principles of Pastoral Care with Children • Pray with and for them • Spend time with them; get to know them • Talk to them; talk as an adult • Interact on their eye level • Send cards/notes • Visit in their home; their room (with parents’ & child’s permission); SS class • Play games they like
Ideas for Working with Children • Sketch pad, crayons, markers • Puppets • Ungame, checkers, etc. • Tape recorder • Play dough • Sentence completions (pastor too!) • Role play