Identifying Coaching Objectives

1. Identifying Coaching Objectives

2. What is Coaching??

3. Coaching – according to the International Coach Federation (https://coachfederation.org) Coaching is defined as: “partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential.”

4. Coaching involves the belief that the individual has the answers to their own problems within them. • coaching is a partnership • a way of offering support • a catalyst for change • can help people overcome internal struggles, habits or behaviors that are negatively impacting their life and holding them back. • Know yourself, know your clients, know how you will present your approach (sometimes in the form of a coaching model) to your clients, get feedback from the clients.

5. Identifying Coaching Objectives • Things to listen for: content vs. process • Listening to the client’s patter of speech and language is a good way to help the client get to their coaching objectives. • Content: the thing the client is talking about. It could be a job change, a relationship issue, a fear they have. It’s often an activity, task or something tangible (like money to earn etc.). • Coaches listen on different levels. One level is on the content level. • When listening to a client talk about the content, listen for key words and phrases.

6. Words like “well maybe” or “I should have” or “I might”, any phrases that suggest doubt, lack of conviction or a lack of commitment. Words like these often reflect doubts or concerns in the client. This can be rich territory for a coaching conversation. The coach might respond with something like: “I hear the word ‘should’ a lot. Tell me more about that ‘should’ script”. And then the client goes down the road of explaining the dialogue going on in their head. The coach is then in a key position to help reflect back if the thoughts are accurate or false ideas and limiting beliefs.

7. Another pattern sometimes seen is answering a question with a question. This is great way to deflect the topic, especially if the client doesn’t really want to get to the answer. Sometimes it is not conscious. When the coach asks to get clear on the client’s objectives, this is when a coach can see a variety of deflection techniques. For example: • Topic changes: Rapid shift from one topic to another • Chatter talk: talk about everything under the weather except the coach, coaching relationship or objectives for coaching.

8. Vagueness: if a person can’t really commit and has a lot of resistance to achieving their goal, the can easily display the same pattern in the coaching relationship. The coach can then continue with questions and gather information to hone in on what the client is really hoping to achieve. • By not getting specific objectives, the coach may not be able to fulfill the client’s objectives for the session. • If a coach has a really hard time getting the client to answer the question of coaching objectives, this is a good time to start exploring why.

9. Conversation Example 1: C: I noticed that I have asked about setting goals for the coaching conversations and other topics come up for you. What is it about this process that makes it hard to set goals? Client: Oh, I don’t know, I’m just not sure. C: oh, tell me more about that. Not sure about what? (coach has an opportunity to overcome client’s objections about the idea that coaching might work or that their goal might actually be achievable. This client may have a real issue with commitment).

10. Sometimes getting to the client’s coaching objectives can take more than one coaching conversation. And that’s ok. And it’s good to just outline the goal of that coaching session is then to gain clarity about what the client is looking for. Good questions, asking open-ended questions and reflecting back to the client what they are saying are solid techniques to support the client. Process: the client’s experience and way they present the information and respond.

11. Sometimes a person says something but there is something that is not congruent about what they are saying. They are saying they are relaxed but sound tense. Perhaps the behavior doesn’t match their thoughts or the statement they make doesn’t match your experience of them or something they have said. For example, they might say they can make a weekly 1- hour commitment but you notice every week something comes up and they have to reschedule. They can also have a visceral response, like a trembling voice, rapid speech, silence, a long pause, a deep breath, or responses/behaviors that let you know there is something else underneath that statement.

12. Conversation Example 2: C: You say you would lose all of your business if you did that, but you also said that never happens. You actually retain all of your paying clients. What do you think about that? Client: oh, I never realized that. That is true I guess I worry but I do keep all of my clients. C: what could you say differently to yourself to support the fact that you do keep your clients? Client: I could say to myself “I have a good relationship with my clients, they are satisfied and I don’t have to worry about that”.

13. C: and how does that make you feel when you hear that? Client: I feel much better and I am not as worried. It’s not always this easy to help bring insight to the client. And the conversations will continue, and it might take a while for the pattern of negative thoughts in this case) to be broken. But the idea is to challenge and introduce a different way to think about something. The worry in this case is not helping the client, so if the client can come up with a way to think about it differently, this could lead to a change in behavior. And that can often lead to the change the client is looking for.

14. Tip: the client always leads the conversation. Often coaches can get wrapped up in getting the goals the client sets accomplished, but the client leads. This means the coaches agenda is not part of the process. The coach, instead offers a re- evaluation of the current topic and confirms this is the subject the client wants to talk about. Especially if the client has led the conversation in a totally different direction.

15. How does the client sound as they are speaking? Does their speech become more rapid? Do they sound anxious when talking about it? Or maybe dismissive, like they are down playing it? Maybe they sound tense? Can the client hear you? Do they speak your language? Are they understanding you? Literally, do they speak the same language? I spoke to a potential client once and it took about 4 times for her to say “yes” for me to figure out she really didn’t speak English! This type of observations can give a coach more information about what is going on insides the client. And it’s good to remember that the client may not be fully aware of this. Coaching can be a great tool to help the client gain awareness.

16. Conversation Example 3: (Client answers question and takes a deep breath). C: I hear you taking a deep breath after that statement. Client: yeh. C: yeh a deep breath, can you tell more about that? Or C: I just noticed you took a deep breath after that comment. How are you feeling right now? Client: Well I’m just not sure this is going to happen because . . . and it stresses me out.

17. C: oh, tell me more about that. Client; when he comes home and doesn’t talk to me, then I feel like he is ignoring me and not supporting me. And then I get all in my head. C: in your head? Client: yeh, like I start running these scenarios where he actually hates what I do and doesn’t want to support me. C: I hear you taking another deep breath. Client: yeh, if he doesn’t like this than I can’t do that and then I’d have to quit . . .

18. Coach: (reflecting and empathic) I hear that the idea of him not supporting you is stressful for you. (challenging) Has he ever said he didn’t support you or want you to do this? Client: well no but I can see it. Coach (challenging): have you ever asked him? Client: no. Coach: why don’t you? And then they start down the road to possible changes in client’s behavior that can put at ease her fear. Often when confronted with direct behavior, clients will re- evaluate the limiting belief or fear they have in their head.

19. One great tool is called “The Belief Closet” http://beliefcloset.com This is a technique that gets at a client’s limiting beliefs. What plays out in the client’s world will come into play in the coaching relationship If they are late to appointments, the client may be late to coaching sessions. If they have a hard time following through, they might have a hard time completing coaching objectives. This is great material to work with. As an observer, a coach has a unique opportunity to offer feedback and help the client gain insight into these behaviors, which are sometimes things that are sabotaging the client. Don’t be afraid to talk about your observations or talk about the coaching contract or about money, payments etc. Coaching Objectives

20. Coaching Objectives “What would you like to talk about today” Clients will present one of two ways: either they will have a specific goal and task they want to complete, or they will have a topic that they want to explore. Sometimes the topic turns into a set of goals. One way to stay on track as a coach is to ask the client for their “take away” at the end of the session. This will be something – an insight, a decision, a feeling, that they will take with them. This also lets both parties know that the coaching session was productive. And its material that the coach can make note of and follow-up with for the next session.

21. Sometimes a coach will ask if the client wants homework – something to work on between session to keep the client on track with their goal. Or they will ask if they have an action item. This is good for accountability. Sometimes client will say they will do “xy&z” by the next session and then the coach can follow-up with them. This is one of the most successful pieces of coaching. Accountability works well for us. A coach is a cheerleader, coach and can be the accountable voice in a unique way. Coaches can have a compass or map to help the client in their process. Some us a coaching model. (This will be talked about more in upcoming classes). This is a coaching tool designed (by the coach) to help raise the client’s awareness and keep the coach on track. It’s often a visual representation - an acronym, symbol, metaphor, or simple phrase that identifies the coaching process and the coach’s philosophy.

22. The role of coach is to have the client tell their story and then help them see a different outcome or way to doing something. It allows for the space for the client with self-discovery. A Coaching Objectives Sample, cited from: https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/sample-coaching-plan-leadership-executive-coaches-andrew-neitlich

23. “To summarize the plan: Session one is the opportunity to start the process by discussing goals and ground rules and getting the assessment process started. For internal coaches, this is also a time to confirm fit with clients by making sure they see the coaching program as a privilege and reward, and that they are open to being coached. Between sessions one and two, the coach and client get to work on completing the assessments. IMPORTANT NOTE: We do not condone giving clients a thick pack of assessments to complete. The assessment process should be efficient and designed to achieve "nowhere to hide coaching." In other words, the assessment should collect enough data to highlight precisely what the client can do to improve performance and achieve his or her goals. Nothing more, nothing less.

24. During session two, which is typically longer than other sessions, the coach and client review the assessment work. The deliverable is not only improved self-awareness and insights, but also to choose a specific behavior to work on in order to demonstrate measurable improvements. The behavioral coaching, we do is based on cognitive psychology, and layers in tactics to make a keybehavior a habit. The behavior can be something the client starts to do, a strength to build upon, something the client stops doing, or something the client does less. Session three gets the behavioral coaching process going, and also leads into coaching conversations to move towards results.

25. The remaining sessions combine discussions of behavioral coaching, review of the Leader's Dashboard that the client completed during the assessment phase (a proprietary tool in the CEC Coaching Toolkit that gets everything important to the leader on one page), discussion of current challenges and -- when time permits -- review of various tools to continue to build on strengths and leadership. Tools include a range of situations and challenges that leaders face, from how to better engage employees to building one's power base of relationships, managing up, resolving conflict, creating a high-performance culture, leading change, building teams, and juggling multiple priorities. Any of these topics could be a coaching engagement in and of itself; in this coaching plan, we are providing a coaching curriculum for leaders who want to get to that next level of performance and advance their careers.

26. The Throughout the process, client and coach set and track goals, make mid-course corrections as needed, and celebrate results. Follow up is built in to ensure that new behaviors and attitudes stick.