Funnel Introductions and Concise Writing

1. Funnel Introductions and Concise Writing Here is a quick way to structure an introduction in order to avoid confusion and remain focused.

2. Introductions should: • Introduce the topic. • This is usually accomplished at the start and in the middle of the introduction. • Mention the case (the piece of literature you are using) • Be certain toinclude the title and author of the book or piece of literaturebeing used as evidence. • BRIEFLY preview your points or indicate the direction of your argument. • Be concise • The best introductions for our course will not be overly long. You are previewing your points, yes, but you do not need to go too far in depth yet. • Take a DEFINITIVE STANCE ON THE PROMPT • Avoid vague language and make sure you fully engage with the question or task at hand.

3. Funnel Introductions As the graphic shows, funnel introductions begin general and become specific in the thesis.

4. General Statement • Ideally this should only be one sentence. • It should take the subject of your paper and expand it beyond the realm of the book. • For instance, if you are writing an essay about the effects of the extravagance of life in the roaring twenties of The Great Gatsby, you might want to compose a sentence about appearances being deceiving, or that rich ornamentation does not signify or guarantee happiness. • Example: • Material goods can only do so much for someone who has become world weary and obsessive before his time.

5. Introducing Book Situation • The next sentence should introduce the situation of the book. • That is, on which specific aspect of the book will you be focusing? • This is where you want to insert the title and the author. • Let’s continue to use the same topic throughout these examples: Jay Gatsby’s phony successful front. • Example: • In F. Scott Fitzgerald’s The Great Gatsby, the mysterious titular character surrounds himself with all of the entertaining, dancing and drinking of the 1920’s, but cannot escape brooding over a lost love.

6. Narrowing the Situation • OK, so now we know the book and the general issue. Let’s get a little more specific. • This is when you might introduce something relevant to your thesis, that you might examine in a body paragraph. • Alternatively, you could simply take the generic terms of the prior sentence and just bring them more into the context of the book. • Example: • Without Daisy, all of Gatsby’s riches can amount to no degree of happiness.

7. Thesis • If a funnel introduction starts general and ends specific, what better way to end than with your thesis? • Remember, a thesis is an arguable statement that takes a definitive stance on the issue proposed in the prompt. • You want to make your position clear and give an indication as to where your argument will take you in the body paragraphs. • Example: • Although his parties make him seem like the emperor of excess, Gatsby is never fully present at these events and is ultimately unredeemable in the eyes of partygoers who enjoy the show, but do not even mourn Gatsby’s death.

8. Putting it All Together Material goods can only do so much for someone who has become world weary and obsessive before his time. In F. Scott Fitzgerald’s The Great Gatsby, the mysterious titular character surrounds himself with all of the entertaining, dancing and drinking of the 1920’s, but cannot escape brooding over a lost love. Without Daisy, all of Gatsby’s riches can amount to no degree of happiness. Although his parties make him seem like the emperor of excess, Gatsby is never fully present at these events and is ultimately unredeemable in the eyes of partygoers who enjoy the show, but do not even mourn Gatsby’s death.

9. Concise Language: Twitter Writing • Well… no abbreviations, but… • Concise language GETS TO THE POINT with an economy of words. Be direct, brief and focused.

10. Example of Concise Writing Too Wordy Concise Gogol’s identity crisis is rooted in his inability to fully associate with his parents’ Bengali culture or his American companions’ lifestyle. • At the beginning of Gogol’s life he is really confused. His parents are not from America, they are Bengali. This is complicated by the fact that Gogol cannot identify with Americans. Add that to the fact that he has trouble identifying as Bengali and you have an identity crisis.

11. You Try! • Below, I’ve written a paragraph that desperately needs some concise editing. Your task is to take the information and rewrite it in a concise manner while maintaining the ideas. Alfred has many problems. Most of them have to do with his friends. Also, he is scared of Major and his crew. They are all going down the wrong path. They do drugs, steal and stay up late at night drinking. All of these things are really bad. Alfred knows that they are bad, but he keeps on coming back. All of a sudden, Alfred finds boxing. Boxing makes Alfred happy. It makes him feel like he can conquer anything. He learns a lot from Mr. Donatelli. Also, he learns a lot from training with Spoon, Jelly Belly and Henry. One of the lessons he learns is quoted as, “triumph will conquer despair”. He learns this lesson boxing all the people. Especially his last fight. When he finds James in the cave. He uses this lesson. James is scared. Alfred knows that “triumph” will conquer despair”. This means, he can definitely help James. I think that is good.

12. Step-by-step I will now cover each part of the introduction, one at a time