Chemical Dependency in the Family

Chemical Dependency in the Family

Affects on the family: • Addiction in the family affects any family member in any area of their life – now or in the future.

Affects on the family: • It affects their view of a family • How they relate to each other in their family • How they communicate with each other • How they handle their problems and conflicts • It affects future relationships – usually carries over from what they learn

Family Roles: • The family will take on roles to reduce stress in the family. • They are used as a defense mechanism to try to have a “normal” family.

Chemically Dependent Person • Things Others See: • Charming person who gets others to do things. • Perfectionist • Inner Feelings: • Pain • Guilt • Fear of what might happen

Chemically Dependent Person • Job in the family: • Focal point: everything revolves around them. Depends on if they had been drinking, what mood are they in… • Characteristics: • Blames others for their problem • Makes excuses for their use/abuse

Chief Enabler • Things Others See: • Overly responsible for the family • Easily manipulated by the chemically dependent person • Inner Feelings: • Fear • Anger • Guilt

Chief Enabler • Job in the family: • Try the best to keep the family together • Characteristics: • Makes excuses and covers up for the addict • Pays off debts for them, call in sick for them, etc.

Family Hero • Things Others See: • Very successful and always does what’s right • Inner Feelings: • Inadequate • Confusion • Anger - all of this conflicts with what others see

Family Hero • Job in the family: • Gives the family something to be proud of • Characteristics: • Very high achiever – has to be the best in grades, sports, etc. VERY STRESSFUL ROLE

Family Scapegoat • Things Others See: • Angry • Defiant • Aggressive • Inner Feelings: • Lonely • Hurt • Guilty • Rejection • Resentment

Family Scapegoat • Job in the family: • Take focus off the addict • Family takes out anger on them

Family Scapegoat • Characteristics: • Can’t compete with the hero, so goes for negative attention. Gets in trouble – suspended, arrested, flunking classes. • Strong ties to friends that are also trouble • At risk to use/abuse drugs – their escape

Lost Child • Things Others See: • Withdrawn • Loner • Passive • Inner Feelings: • Feel as if they are unimportant

Lost Child • Job in the family: • Appreciated because they are not looking for any attention • Characteristics: • Escapes into a fantasy world – books, TV. A daydreamer. • Very quiet, not a lot of friends. • May be attached to an object like a doll.

Family Mascot • Things Others See: • Immature, a “class clown” • Inner Feelings: • Anger • Insecure • Confusion • Low self-esteem

Family Mascot • Job in the family: • Make everyone laugh – even in tense situations • Characteristics: • Hyperactive • Short attention span • Needs to be the center of attention

Stages Family MAY Go Through: • Stage one: Denial • “We have no problem” • Try to hide the problem from themselves and others, embarrassed and worried about their reputation. Makes excuses for the addicts’ behavior. • Tries to create the “perfect family” illusion

Stages Family MAY Go Through: • Stage two: Home Treatment • “We can handle it ourselves” • They try to control the addict themselves – nagging, threatening, getting rid of the supply, etc. They become socially isolated • They blame each other and themselves when this fails

Stages Family MAY Go Through: • Stage three: Chaos and Disorganization • A crisis occurs because of the addict’s abuse of drugs – can no longer deny or hide the problem. • Family feels helpless, violence may occur, frightened • May look for help – want “magic solution”

Stages Family MAY Go Through: • Stage four: Reorganize • Family gets help for themselves – not waiting for the addict to want help • Ignore the addict or treat them like a child • Conflicting feelings – love, fear, anger, shame and resentment

Chemical Dependency in the Family