Making Your Writing Easy to Read

Making Your Writing Easy to Read Cathlena Martin; Communication Arts

Clarity Choice of words, arrangement of words in a sentence

Changing Verbs from Passive to Active • For a customer to apply for benefits, an application must be completed.

Changing Verbs from Passive to Active • For a customer to apply for benefits, an application must be completed. • Correction: A customer must complete an application to apply for benefits.

Changing Verbs from Passive to Active • For a customer to apply for benefits, an application must be completed. • Correction: A customer must complete an application to apply for benefits. • The cost of delivering financial services is being slashed by computers, the Internet, and toll-free phone lines.

Changing Verbs from Passive to Active • For a customer to apply for benefits, an application must be completed. • Correction: A customer must complete an application to apply for benefits. • The cost of delivering financial services is being slashed by computers, the Internet, and toll-free phone lines. • Correction: Computers, the Internet, and toll-free phones lines slash the cost of delivering financial services.

Changing Verbs from Passive to Active • For a customer to apply for benefits, an application must be completed. • Correction: A customer must complete an application to apply for benefits. • The cost of delivering financial services is being slashed by computers, the Internet, and toll-free phone lines. • Correction: Computers, the Internet, and toll-free phones lines slash the cost of delivering financial services. • When the vacation schedule is finalized it is recommended that it be routed to all supervisors for final approval.

Changing Verbs from Passive to Active • For a customer to apply for benefits, an application must be completed. • Correction: A customer must complete an application to apply for benefits. • The cost of delivering financial services is being slashed by computers, the Internet, and toll-free phone lines. • Correction: Computers, the Internet, and toll-free phones lines slash the cost of delivering financial services. • When the vacation schedule is finalized it is recommended that it be routed to all supervisors for final approval. • Correction: When you finish the vacation schedule, please route it to all supervisors for final approval.

Changing Verbs from Passive to Active • As stated in my résumé, I have designed Web pages for three student organizations.

Changing Verbs from Passive to Active • As stated in my résumé, I have designed Web pages for three student organizations. • Correction: As my résumé states, I designed Web pages for three student organizations.

Changing Verbs from Passive to Active • As stated in my résumé, I have designed Web pages for three student organizations. • Correction: As my résumé states, I designed Web pages for three student organizations. • Material must not be left on trucks outside the warehouse. Either the trucks must be parked inside the warehouse or the material must be unloaded at the time of receiving the truck.

Changing Verbs from Passive to Active • As stated in my résumé, I have designed Web pages for three student organizations. • Correction: As my résumé states, I designed Web pages for three student organizations. • Material must not be left on trucks outside the warehouse. Either the trucks must be parked inside the warehouse or the material must be unloaded at the time of receiving the truck. • Correction: Do not leave materials on trucks outside the warehouse. Park the trucks inside the warehouse or unload the material when you receive the truck.

Using Strong Verbs • The advantage of using color is that it makes the document more memorable.

Using Strong Verbs • The advantage of using color is that it makes the document more memorable. • Correction: Color makes documents more memorable.

Using Strong Verbs • The advantage of using color is that it makes the document more memorable. • Correction: Color makes documents more memorable. • When you make an evaluation of media buys, take into consideration the demographics of the group seeing the ad.

Using Strong Verbs • The advantage of using color is that it makes the document more memorable. • Correction: Color makes documents more memorable. • When you make an evaluation of media buys, take into consideration the demographics of the group seeing the ad. • Correction: When you evaluate media buys, consider the demographics of the group seeing the ad.

Clarity and Concision:Use gerunds and infinitives. • The completion of the project requires the collection and analysis of additional data.

Clarity and Concision:Use gerunds and infinitives. • The completion of the project requires the collection and analysis of additional data. • Correction: Completing the project requires collecting and analyzing additional data.

Clarity and Concision:Use gerunds and infinitives. • The completion of the project requires the collection and analysis of additional data. • Correction: Completing the project requires collecting and analyzing additional data. • The purchase of laser printers will make possible the in-house production of the newsletter.

Clarity and Concision:Use gerunds and infinitives. • The completion of the project requires the collection and analysis of additional data. • Correction: Completing the project requires collecting and analyzing additional data. • The purchase of laser printers will make possible the in-house production of the newsletter. • Correction: Purchasing laser printers will make producing the newsletter in-house possible.

Clarity continued Back to book – page 181, chapter 20e

Continuity How sentences hang together, the glue that holds sentences together

Continuity: stress • Locate the main idea in the sentence below. Then combine the group into a single sentence that emphasizes the main idea by placing it at the beginning or end. • Pat Taylor strode into the room. The room was packed. He greeted students called “Taylor’s Kids.” He nodded to their parents and teachers.

Continuity: stress • Pat Taylor strode into the room. The room was packed. He greeted students called “Taylor’s Kids.” He nodded to their parents and teachers. • Pat Taylor strode into the packed room, greeting students called “Taylor’s Kids” and nodding to their parents and teachers.

Continuity: stress • Pat Taylor strode into the room. The room was packed. He greeted students called “Taylor’s Kids.” He nodded to their parents and teachers. • Pat Taylor strode into the packed room, greeting students called “Taylor’s Kids” and nodding to their parents and teachers. • This was a wealthy Louisiana oilman. He had promised his “Kids” free college educations. He was determined to make higher education available to all qualified but disadvantaged students.

Continuity: stress • Pat Taylor strode into the room. The room was packed. He greeted students called “Taylor’s Kids.” He nodded to their parents and teachers. • Pat Taylor strode into the packed room, greeting students called “Taylor’s Kids” and nodding to their parents and teachers. • This was a wealthy Louisiana oilman. He had promised his “Kids” free college educations. He was determined to make higher education available to all qualified but disadvantaged students. • This wealthy Louisiana oilman had promised his “Kids” free college educations because he was determined to make higher education available to all qualified but disadvantaged students.

Continuity continued Back to book - page146, chapter 15c

Concision Avoiding redundancies

Reducing Wordiness:Eliminate words that say nothing. • There are many businesses that are active in community and service work.

Reducing Wordiness:Eliminate words that say nothing. • There are many businesses that are active in community and service work. • Correction: Many businesses are active in philanthropy.

Reducing Wordiness:Eliminate words that say nothing. • There are many businesses that are active in community and service work. • Correction: Many businesses are active in philanthropy. • The purchase of a new computer will allow us to produce form letters quickly. In addition, return on investment could be calculated for proposed repairs. Another use is that the computer could check databases to make sure that claims are paid only once.

Reducing Wordiness:Eliminate words that say nothing. • There are many businesses that are active in community and service work. • Correction: Many businesses are active in philanthropy. • The purchase of a new computer will allow us to produce form letters quickly. In addition, return on investment could be calculated for proposed repairs. Another use is that the computer could check databases to make sure that claims are paid only once. • Correction: Purchasing a new computer will allow us to produce form letters quickly, calculate the investment return on proposed repairs, and check databases to make sure that claims are only paid once.

Concision continued Back to book – page 181, chapter 20f

Reducing Wordiness:Combine Sentences • Some customers are profitable for the companies. Other customers actually cost the company money.

Reducing Wordiness:Combine Sentences • Some customers are profitable for the companies. Other customers actually cost the company money. • Correction: Some customers are profitable for companies while others actually cost the company money.

Reducing Wordiness:Combine Sentences • Some customers are profitable for the companies. Other customers actually cost the company money. • Correction: Some customers are profitable for companies while others actually cost the company money. • If you are unable to come to the session on HMOs, please call the human resources office. You will be able to schedule another time to ask questions you may have about the various options.

Reducing Wordiness:Combine Sentences • Some customers are profitable for the companies. Other customers actually cost the company money. • Correction: Some customers are profitable for companies while others actually cost the company money. • If you are unable to come to the session on HMOs, please call the human resources office. You will be able to schedule another time to ask questions you may have about the various options. • Correction: If you are unable to come to the session on HMOs, please call the human resource office to schedule another time to ask any questions you may have.

Concision continued Back to book – page 182, chapter 20g

Eliminating Jargon and Simplifying Language • As per your request, the undersigned has obtained estimates of upgrading our computer system. A copy of the estimate is attached hereto.

Eliminating Jargon and Simplifying Language • As per your request, the undersigned has obtained estimates of upgrading our computer system. A copy of the estimate is attached hereto. • Correction: Here’s the estimate you asked for on the cost of upgrading our computer system.

Eliminating Jargon and Simplifying Language • As per your request, the undersigned has obtained estimates of upgrading our computer system. A copy of the estimate is attached hereto. • Correction: Here’s the estimate you asked for on the cost of upgrading our computer system. • Please be advised that this writer is in considerable need of a new computer.

Eliminating Jargon and Simplifying Language • As per your request, the undersigned has obtained estimates of upgrading our computer system. A copy of the estimate is attached hereto. • Correction: Here’s the estimate you asked for on the cost of upgrading our computer system. • Please be advised that this writer is in considerable need of a new computer. • Correction: I need a new computer.

Coherence Organizational structure of paragraphs, sections of documents, and papers

Coherence: paragraph head • Often, men from all across the country who were forced into battle had to redefine their familial connections through new notions of manhood. Time and again men had to ask themselves who their real brothers were: the men fighting by their sides, or their relatives on the enemy side? What is the best topic sentence? • A: The military reality of the Civil War made many men leave behind their boyhood innocence. • B: Unlike the Revolutionary War, the American Civil War pitted citizens, friends, and brothers against one another.

Coherence: paragraph head • Often, men from all across the country who were forced into battle had to redefine their familial connections through new notions of manhood. Time and again men had to ask themselves who their real brothers were: the men fighting by their sides, or their relatives on the enemy side? • What is the best topic sentence? • A: The military reality of the Civil War made many men leave behind their boyhood innocence. • B: Unlike the Revolutionary War, the American Civil War pitted citizens, friends, and brothers against one another.

Coherence: paragraph head • A similarity between these two nineteenth-century writers lies in their appeal to nature as a medium of transcendental truth. The major difference is that Bryant believes that nature should not only inform individual morality in a socially-constructed world, but also that nature "should also be able to keep man suitably depressed with its lessons of decay and death" (Miller 291). Emerson's social world, on the other hand, requires that the individual make strictly hopeful connections between human endeavors and the sublime lessons of nature.

Coherence: paragraph head • A: Despite their differences, there is a "natural" connection between Bryant's morality and Emerson's "reason." • B: For example, both Bryant and Emerson use natural images of the landscape to invoke feelings of national pride.

Coherence continued Back to book – page 40, chapter 6b

Improving Parallel Structure • Five criteria for a good Web page are content that serves the various audiences, attention to details, and originality. It is also important to have effective organization and navigation devices. Finally, provide attention to details such as revision date and the Webmaster’s address.

Making Your Writing Easy to Read