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DATELINE Darwin - January 2008 TERRITORY TIMES SQUARED.

DATELINE Darwin - January 2008 TERRITORY TIMES SQUARED. (. + X -- -:- = $. < > ).

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DATELINE Darwin - January 2008 TERRITORY TIMES SQUARED.

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  1. DATELINE Darwin - January 2008 TERRITORY TIMES SQUARED.

  2. ( + X -- -:- = $ < > ) At Darwin International airport yesterday, an individual later discovered to be a school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set-square, a slide-rule, and a calculator.

  3. y x At a morning press conference, the Attorney General said he believed the person to be a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement. ASIO is charging her with carrying weapons of maths instruction. y = x + 3

  4. DATA "Al-gebra is a fearsome cult," the minister said. "They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute value. They use secret code names like "x" and "y" and refer to themselves as "unknowns", but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of evil with coordinates in every country.

  5. "As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, there are 3 sides to every triangle," he declared. When asked to comment on the arrest, PM Kevin said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of maths instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes.

  6. "I am gratified that our government has given us a sine that it is intent on protracting us from these maths-algorithms who are willing to disintegrate us with calculus disregard. Murky statisticians love to inflict plane on every sphere of influence," the PM said, adding: "Under the circumferences, we must differentiate their root, make our point, and draw the line."

  7. PM Saint Rudd warned, "These weapons of Maths instruction have the potential to decimal everything in their maths classes on a scalene never before seen unless we become exponents of a Higher Power and begin to factor-in random facts of vertex."

  8. The Attorney General was infinitely definite when he stated “Read my ellipse. Here is one principle he is uncertainty of: though they continue to multiply, their days are numbered as the hypotenuse tightens around their necks."

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