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How to Practice Safe Stress. www.marsvenuscoaching.com

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JOHN GRAY VIDEO www.marsvenuscoaching.com

Why are we so stressed out? www.marsvenuscoaching.com

Unrealistic Expectations www.marsvenuscoaching.com

SUPERWOMAN www.marsvenuscoaching.com

Unrealistic Expectations www.marsvenuscoaching.com

2X the Burdens of Our Mothers www.marsvenuscoaching.com

The Never-Ending To-Do List www.marsvenuscoaching.com

Lack of Appropriate Male Support www.marsvenuscoaching.com

Causes… www.marsvenuscoaching.com

Causes Elevated Stress Hormones www.marsvenuscoaching.com

What is Cortisol? www.marsvenuscoaching.com

Weakens Immune System www.marsvenuscoaching.com

Shuts-off Digestion www.marsvenuscoaching.com

Our Greatest Challenge • Men and women cope with stress differently • Our differences are intensified by stress www.marsvenuscoaching.com

Mars & Venus To Collide www.marsvenuscoaching.com

WhyMarsandVenusCollide Complaints from Mars Complaints from Venus • I have to juggle so many things, and he doesn’t seem to care or even want to help. • When I offer to help, she always finds something wrong in my suggestions. Why bother? • We both go to work. When we get home, why doesn’t he pitch in and help more? • She always finds something new to complain about. www.marsvenuscoaching.com

WhyMarsandVenusCollide Complaints from Mars Complaints from Venus • He sits in front of the TV while I do everything. I am not his personal maid. • She wants everything done right now. Why can’t she just relax? • We never have time for romance anymore. He is either working, watching TV, gone, or sleeping. • When I am in the mood, she is either too tired or overwhelmed with too many other things. www.marsvenuscoaching.com

Physiological Differences Gender differences in the brain's serotonin system www.marsvenuscoaching.com

Response differences • In men, stress increased blood flow to the left orbitofrontal cortex suggested activation of the "fight or flight" response. • In women, stress activated the limbic system, which is associated with emotional responses. www.marsvenuscoaching.com

Single-Focusversus Multi-Task • The part of the brain that produces cross-talk between the hemispheres is… 25% smaller in Men. www.marsvenuscoaching.com

Single-Focusversus Multi-Task • Man’s brain is highly specialized, using a specific part of a single-hemisphere to accomplish a task. www.marsvenuscoaching.com

Men get annoyed when a woman interrupts them www.marsvenuscoaching.com

Women get more stressed out when a man tries to narrow down her focus. www.marsvenuscoaching.com

Our relationships can be a source of: stressor comfort www.marsvenuscoaching.com

The Rub • The Different Ways The Genders Cope With Stress Can Actually Increase Stress In The Opposite Sex. www.marsvenuscoaching.com

Radically Different Coping Mechanisms to Stress • Men… www.marsvenuscoaching.com

Male Response or www.marsvenuscoaching.com

Radically Different Responses to Stress • Women… www.marsvenuscoaching.com

What Helps Reduce Stress? www.marsvenuscoaching.com

Testosterone • Peaks in the morning • Depleted throughout the day • Needs time to recover www.marsvenuscoaching.com

Stimulate Testosterone • Success or the anticipation of success in the relationship • Forgetting the problem even momentarily • Engaging in less challenging activity • Watching TV • Reading • Taking a nap • Going into his cave www.marsvenuscoaching.com

Leaving a man alone is sometimes the best way to support him. www.marsvenuscoaching.com

Oxytocin – The love and nurturing hormone • Reduces blood pressure, cortisol levels and fear • Creates a feeling of attachment • Increases maternal behavior and sexual interest www.marsvenuscoaching.com

Oxytocin • Decreases when feeling… • Alone • Ignored • Unsupported • Unimportant • Rushed • Overwhelmed www.marsvenuscoaching.com

Oxytocin • Testosterone generating activities at work reduce woman’s Oxytocin levels… • Comes home without abundance of Oxytocin. • Returning home after work causes most women’s stress to INCREASE. www.marsvenuscoaching.com

Overwhelming www.marsvenuscoaching.com

Oxytocin • Increases with trust and anticipation of needs being met…including a simple hug, conversation and show of support. • Increases when helping, caring, sharing or befriending without expectations. • Increases when nurturing self www.marsvenuscoaching.com

A woman’s greatest challenge • caring for herself as much as she is caring for others. www.marsvenuscoaching.com

One Solution… www.marsvenuscoaching.com

Men Need To Feel Needed and Women Need To Feel They Are Not Alone. www.marsvenuscoaching.com

Normal Stuff • Manage your time • Exercise regularly • Get adequate sleep • Eat a healthy diet • Be assertive • Live in the now www.marsvenuscoaching.com

Filling-up the Oxytocin Tank By Him (10%) Yourself (90%) • Do something nice for yourself and others • Plan special occasion • Ask for help • Schedule a walk & talk • Grow/make something • Create a “Have Done” list • Reach out to friends • Hire a coach • Hug her 4x a day • Leave her a note • Take her on a date • Give her a flower • Notice her • Listen to her • Compliment her • Give her a spa day • Help her without being asked www.marsvenuscoaching.com

Mars Venus • Reach out to people …talk • Allow the to-do list to end… at least for the day • Recognize the differences • You NEED to connect, be heard • He NEEDS to escape or feel needed www.marsvenuscoaching.com

Your Questions Can I really reduce the stress in my life? Can I find the work-life balance I desire? Can I find my purpose and meaning? Can I rediscover my passion? Can I improve the quality of my relationships? www.marsvenuscoaching.com

YES! www.marsvenuscoaching.com

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