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Pathways to fatherhood (In Finland) FIRA 21-23.10.2008

Pathways to fatherhood (In Finland) FIRA 21-23.10.2008. Johanna Mykkänen 40014 University of Jyväskylä, Finland Faculty of Education PL 35 (Educa) Tel. 358 04 8 313 695 johanna.mykkanen@jyu.fi. Becoming a father - narrative, emotion and agency. When and why?

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Pathways to fatherhood (In Finland) FIRA 21-23.10.2008

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  1. Pathways to fatherhood (In Finland)FIRA 21-23.10.2008 Johanna Mykkänen 40014 University of Jyväskylä, Finland Faculty of Education PL 35 (Educa) Tel. 358 04 8 313 695 johanna.mykkanen@jyu.fi

  2. Becoming a father - narrative, emotion and agency • When and why? • Timing (age and life-experience) • What? • Experiences • Emotions • Meaning-making • Stories: whole story (process) and tiny stories (episodes) • How? • Telling (Words, metaphors, intensity, tone) Johanna Mykkänen 22.10.2008

  3. Data • 27 first-time Finnish fathers (age 20- to 42-years-old) • Children 1- to 3-years-old at time of interview • The data has been gathered through interviews • Some of the participants were found through the daycare system and then it just snowballed bringing some others • Transcribed text 580 pages Johanna Mykkänen 22.10.2008

  4. Narrative / theme -interview The leading question: ’Please, tell me about your experiences regarding the early stages of fatherhood. I’m interested in the whole journey, starting with life before the child and ending with life after the birth.' The importance of the leading question was stressed, but if this wasn’t successful, the men were asked to tell more about the following themes: • Life before the child • Planning the pregnancy and knowledge of it • Pregnancy-time • Birth of the child • Life after the child’s birth and • Future plans Johanna Mykkänen 22.10.2008

  5. Pathways to fatherhood 3 storytypes were found from the data: • ’Normative’ (Strong + weak agency) • ’Desire’ (Only strong agency) • ’Recovery’ (’Survive’) (Strong + weak agency) Johanna Mykkänen 22.10.2008

  6. Strong and weak agency • By agency I mean here • Conciousness of the men’s own activity, opportunities and limits on their choices, decisions, actions and emotions regarding early fatherhood. • I’ve divided men’s reported agency into ’strong’ and ’weak’ categories Strong: These men wanted to be there all the time, as an active agent, when it comes to baby. They engaged in the planning and the pregnancy-time at full blast. Weak: These men didn’t want to, couldn’t, weren’t able to, or didn’t know how to participate in planning a pregnancy or what to do during the pregnancy. They let their spouse ’handle’ it all and make all the decisions, with them standing aside, adapting themselves to the situation. - Men’s will and goals were uncertain and insecure. Johanna Mykkänen 22.10.2008

  7. The ’normative’-story(Men 23 - 35 yrs) • This story-type represents a culturally perceived ’normative’ , ideal life-course model. • Planned pregnancy ↔ ’natural’ progression in life • Maturity and readiness to become a father • Proper age to become a father: around 30 years-old, • A suitable spouse, • Education, a steady job and a place to live, • Enough prior freedom experienced, • Emotional and economical stability & • Willingness to start a family  All the men in the data recognised this narrative (although they did not necessarily include themselves in it) and reflected on their own paths to becoming a father against this model. Johanna Mykkänen 22.10.2008

  8. ANSSI 30 yrs (Normative)’From romance to planned pregnancy and to involved fatherhood’ ’Love at first sight’ • I met Sara at one of my friend’s home. I said immediately that ’So, this is it’. Although you might have wanted to, you were hardly likely to find anyone better. ’Waiting to be ready’ • Sara wanted to have a baby already in her twenties. I wasn’t ready. We studied, bought a town-house, renovated it - and around my thirties, I was ready [to become a father]. ’I was the first one’ • Sara had complications in the delivery and the baby had to be removed by Caesarean. At that point when the baby was lifted up out of the stomach, I was totally flumoxxed.The babygirl squealed in the midwife’s arms like a pig. I took her and chatted to her until she calmed down. I went to look after her for the first days, while she was in an incubator – I was ’the breast’. It was an incredible experience. Johanna Mykkänen 22.10.2008

  9. Stories of desire (33 – 42 yrs) • These men had tried to plan their future and fatherhood (like the normative-story men), but their life didn’t proceed that way. • Most of the men had divorced because of their spouse’s inability or unwillingness to have a child at that or any time. • At this point of life, these men were outstandingly eager and enthusiastic to become a father.  Men’s ”baby fever”? Are these men feeling ’broody’? Johanna Mykkänen 22.10.2008

  10. Kimmo, 37 yrs (Desire-story) ’A Dad at last!’ ’I want to have a child!’ My earlier relationship broke up because she didn’t want to have a baby. (--) Then I met Mari. I wanted to have a baby immediately in the first year (when we were started to go steady). I knew about certain criteria, e.g. Mari wanted to study first. She was the one who threw a spanner in the works. After nine (9) years Mari agreed to have a baby. A little bit later Mari gave me in the form of a present, a positive pregnancy test. I waited on tenterhooks I started to fuss over her and do everything just so that Mari could rest. I had room to be flexible. Yeah, at the maternity clinic men are overlooked, but it’s understandable. ’This child is mine’ I realised right after the delivery, when the midwife wrapped her up in a blanket and gave her to me that this child is mine. I had tears in my cheek and I was like: ”This is real!” Then came fatherhood. Johanna Mykkänen 22.10.2008

  11. The recovery-stories • These men’s lives first proceeded ’normatively’, but …. • They confronted a tragic event along the pathway to fatherhood • They somehow survived this trauma Different kind of recovery-stories: • ’Becoming a father after childlessness’ • ’Living with sorrow’ - The death of a newborn or a miscarriage • ’From accident to responsibility’ - Unplanned, ’accident’ pregnancy Johanna Mykkänen 22.10.2008

  12. Conclusions • Men need a place to talk – thay want to give words to their unspoken emotions and experiences. • Involvement and responsibility in fatherhood can arise from the different paths taken to fatherhood – there is not one 'normal’ manner of becoming a father. • Reflecting upon their own decisions, actions and emotions on the path to fatherhood helps develop men’s conciousness about their own agency and stronger involvement in fatherhood. Thank You! Johanna Mykkänen 22.10.2008

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