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Behaving so children behave

Behaving so children behave. Leader - follower. One leader Rest are followers Leader does Followers have to try and follow the leader as accurately as possible Leaders responsibility that followers are able to follow. What do I do?. NO matter what happens be relaxed.

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Behaving so children behave

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  1. Behaving so children behave

  2. Leader - follower • One leader • Rest are followers • Leader does • Followers have to try and follow the leader as accurately as possible • Leaders responsibility that followers are able to follow

  3. What do I do? NO matter what happens be relaxed.

  4. Why am I ….RELAX • Everything is Fine/perfect/ok • I am prepared • We are capable (kids and u)

  5. Adult Child Child What is Discipline? Respect

  6. The dog was trying to bite the boy's little sister You see a Boy hitting a dog Intention Window Behaviour Window

  7. Understanding Window Every Behaviour has a positive Intention

  8. Intention Window Behaviour Window • Similarities • Connection • Understanding • Accepting • Solution • Questioning • Dissimilarity • Disconnection • Reactive • Blaming • Problem • Lecturing, Preaching

  9. Acceptance Triangle

  10. Window? • Child running down supermarket • Child cheating in a exam • Child teasing others • Child throwing down the balcony • Child eating another child's tiffin • Child telling lies • Child not keeping things in place

  11. “Stay” Nature Go with their natural flow

  12. Empower Don’t tell them ‘how’, tell them WHAT

  13. PREPARE Children live up to expectations

  14. State of mind Children who like themselves like to behave themselves

  15. Where is the star in my apple?

  16. FLEXIBILITY If I’m always doing the same thing; I’m likely to get the same result If I want something different I must do something different, and keep varying my behaviour until I get the result that you want

  17. Understanding The child is using the best choice available to her. Understand her to be understood

  18. How will you respond • Rahul has put all the paint on the floor • Neha keeps pinching others • Children from your group are screaming outside another class. • Prashant has scribbled all over his desk • Tarini is not very careful about her things and today her water bottle is lying on the floor. • Two strong boys are physically bullying a relatively smaller boy.

  19. How you want others to respond You often forget to close the tap. Today you forgot to close the tap. What would you like others to do or say?

  20. Cooperation Strategies

  21. 1 Focus on the problem(not the problem creator) Reactive strategy • Describe The Problem • “Paint is on the floor” • Your water bootle is feeling left out” • Give Information • “There is another class working here; The noise is disturbing them” • Say it with a word or Non-Verbal • Shhhhh • “Bottle” or “paper”

  22. 2 Focus on the solution – (not the problem)Pro-active strategy • Offer Choices • “We can either wait here quietly or go back to our class and play” • You want to write on paper or on the board • Put it in Writing We ensure NOBODY is physically or emotionally hurtWe take CARE of each other.

  23. 3 Choices

  24. was Punishment effective? Think of an incident when you have used punishment and why you feel it was justified? Did the punishment serve the purpose? How?

  25. Is Punishment effective? • Punishment can control behaviour, but by itself it will not teach desirable behaviour or even reduce the desire to misbehave • Punishment shifts the focus from the misbehaviour to the punishment itself. Child learns how to avoid punishment next time, or feel bad about himself or hate the punisher. He does not learn how to behave next time.

  26. Punishment - Last resort Belief • Too few options • Come too soon NO RESORT Then what?

  27. Alternatives to Punishment As long as you believe that the problem is out there it will never get solved

  28. Private Victories Precede public victoriesHumko man ki shakti dena man vijay karendusro ki jai se pehla khod ko jai kare If you are MAD Does that give you a right to be rude or hurtful to others? Find Outlets: Stress / Anger / Frustration DEAL WITH IT

  29. “I want to be a trouble today” Co-Creator Co-Solver Too of Problems Misbehaviour is just a symptom Character State (of mind ) Deficiency Deficiency Behaviour depends onSTATEof MINDSometimes YOUR state

  30. Consequences • Natural Consequences Mum is the word

  31. Consequences • Logical Consequences • Upstate & Prepare • Related • Follow through (consistency) “Do not use logical Consequences as threats” Shift from TEACH a lesson to LEARN a lesson

  32. Don’t put blocks, Show way If all your problems look like nails to you, chances are that all you will use is a hammer • Express your Feelings followed by ….. • State Expectations Clearly • Give Alternatives • Stop Start • Seek Help Also, Give a chance to amend

  33. Problem Solving –for the problem not getting solved !!! Let us do it together (create the environment with the three next steps). • STEP 1 - Acknowledge child’s feelings and needs (empathy). • STEP 2 - Express your feelings (no lecture). • STEP 3 - Work together to find alternatives. DO NOT evaluate (Writing makes it ten times more effective).

  34. MORE…………… • STEP 4 - Together decide which idea is acceptable to both. If no idea come then • The process of three steps solve the problem. • Or will come back later • Or try any one idea - even if not acceptable by both. ONLY if you have decided on a specific ACTION PLAN then ………. • STEP 5 - Final action plan. Be specific (time, follow up etc)

  35. When agreements are broken • LEVEL 1 – Invisible action (eg: call the person next to the student) • LEVEL 2 – Handle the problem (eg: admonish the object of distraction) • LEVEL 3 - Remind student responsibility (keep it simple, friendly and eye contact (eg: You are responsible, we can finish faster if you keep your hands to your work) • LEVEL 4 – Safety Jeopardized - keep it private - but be firm

  36. When a problem occurs • Get centered. Take a breath. Anticipate a positive outcome • No confrontation – minimum fanfare - no win - no nailing – get energy off distraction – focus back on learning • State the facts – leave the judgements • Check the intentions – deal with them fast • Don’t gun for a 100% perfect classroom. Gun for a student managed classroom

  37. Children will forget what you said; Children will forget what you did; But they will not forget how you made them feel. www.geniekids.com

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