Writing from Point A to Point D:

1. Writing from Point A to Point D: Simple Strategies for Conveying Complex Ideas

2. Write a Problem Statement for your Group Work • Define the topic area of your research project • What problem are you working to solve? • Why does it matter? • What other attempts have been made to respond to this problem? • What have those attempts overlooked?

3. Activity: Organize the Sentences into their logical order

4. What cues did you follow to organize the paragraph?

5. In applications of population genetics, it is often useful to classify individuals in a sample into populations. In one scenario, the investigator begins with a sample of individuals and wants to say something about the properties of populations. For example, in studies of human evolution, the population is often considered to be the unit of interest, and a great deal of work has focused on learning about the evolutionary relationships of modern populations (e. g., Cavalli, et al. 1994).In a second scenario, the investigator begins with a set of predefined populations and wishes to classify individuals of unknown origin. This type of problem arises in many contexts (reviewed by Davies et al., 1999). A standard approach involves sampling DNA from members of a number of potential source populations and using these samples to estimate allele frequencies in each population at a series of unlinked loci. Using the allele frequencies, it is then possible to compute the likelihood that a given genotype originated in each population. Individuals of unknown origin can be assigned to populations according to these likelihoods (Paetkau et al, 1995; Rannala and Mountain 1997) Pritchard, Stephens, Donnelly, 2000

6. Discuss and Compare • What strategies did the writers use to help you predict the next sentence? • How did sentences refer back to one another? • What differences did you notice in the two kinds of writing?

7. Information is interpreted more easily and more uniformly if it is placed where most readers expect to find it. ... Readers have relatively fixed expectations about where in the structure of prose they will encounter particular items of its substance. If writers can become consciously aware of these locations, they can better control the degrees of recognition and emphasis a reader will give to the various pieces of information being presented. The Science of Scientific Writing

8. Some Goals for Today • Readers bring expectations to the text • Reader expectations and understanding are shaped by social reading (genre) and by signposts in the text • Chronological signposts (first, then, later) • Logical signposts (in order to, explicit roadmaps • Use of referring pronouns (this *theory/idea*) • Word order • Authorize yourselves as writers

9. Complexity vs. Simplicity

10. Complexity vs. Simplicity

11. Simplicity is Complexity Resolved. -Constantin Brâncuși

12. Consider this Text from a Methods Section • The enthalpy of hydrogen bond formation between the nucleoside bases 2'deoxyguanosine (dG) and 2'deoxycytidine (dC) has been determined by direct measurement. dG and dC were derivatized at the 5' and 3' hydroxyls with triisopropylsilyl groups to obtain solubility of the nucleosides in non-aqueous solvents and to prevent the ribose hydroxyls from forming hydrogen bonds. From isoperibolic titration measurements, the enthalpy of dC:dG base pair formation is -6.65±0.32 kcal/mol. (Gopen & Swan, 1990)

13. Consider the Same Text, Revised • We have directly measured the enthalpy of hydrogen bond formation between the nucleoside bases 2'deoxyguanosine (dG) and 2'deoxycytidine (dC). dG and dC were derivatized at the 5' and 3' hydroxyls with triisopropylsiyl groups; these groups serve both to solubilize the nucleosides in non-aqueous solvents and to prevent the ribose hydroxyls from forming hydrogen bonds. Consequently, when the derivatized nucleosides are dissolved in non-aqueous solvents, hydrogen bonds form almost exclusively between the bases. Since the interbase hydrogen bonds are the only bonds to form upon mixing, their enthalpy of formation can be determined directly by measuring the enthalpy of mixing. From our isoperibolic titration measurements, the enthalpy of dG:dC base pair formation is -6.65±0.32 kcal/mol.

14. Obstacles to Writing Clearly • Subjects are vague and don’t help the reader identify what is important (“There are,” “This,” “It,” etc.) • Too many words between the subject and the verb • Confusing Information order is the #1 barrier to clarity for scientific writers (Gopen and Swan, 1990) • Important information is “buried” in parenthetical phrases (that, which) making it seem less relevant

15. Subject-verb Placement

16. Sentence to Sentence Principles: Subject and Verb placement • Place verbs after subjects. Avoid placement of additional content between S and v. • Use active verbs, whenever possible to clearly communicate what the relationship is between the topic position and the stress position • Identify and respond to logical gaps. Gaps can often be found by back-linking stress positions to topic positions to find a missing connection.

17. Information Order

18. Information Order • Readers expect topics to be announced early in a sentence and for new information to come second. • Known/ New or Theme/ new. • Simple restructuring can often improve the clarity of a sentence

19. Known / New • The “new” (or “stress”) position: • typically at the end of the sentence • adds to the reader’s understanding of the topic • A sentence can have more than one stress position, with appropriate punctuation • The subsequent sentence has the option of picking up the “old topic” or the “new” from a recent, previous sentence for the “new topic” position.

20. Topics or “Known” Information • The “topic position” (or “theme” or “subject”): • occurs at the beginning of the sentence and • prepares the reader to think about a particular subject. • Put the focus of the “story” you want to tell in the subject or topic position whenever possible and you will decrease obstacles to clarity.

21. Topic Stress as a Writing Template • Old information A verb….. New Information B. Old Information B…. Verb…. New Information C. Old Information C…. Verb… New Information D. …. • Summative claim: Taken together, the relationship/phenomenon/process of Old informationABCD allows…. New information E…

22. What is the Main Point? • “Some officials have also been persuaded by research suggesting that isolation is vastly overused and that it does little to reduce overall prison violence. Inmates kept in such conditions, most of whom will eventually be released, may be more dangerous when they emerge, studies suggest.” (From: http://www.nytimes.com/2012/03/11/us/rethinking-solitary-confinement.html?pagewanted=all)

23. Identify the “Known” (Topic) and the “New” (Stress) • “Some officials have also been persuaded by research suggesting that isolation is vastly overused and that it does little to reduce overall prison violence. Inmates kept in such conditions, most of whom will eventually be released, may be more dangerous when they emerge, studies suggest.”

24. Finding the Topics • “Some officials have also been persuaded by research suggesting that isolation is vastly overused and that it does little to reduce overall prison violence. Inmates kept in such conditions, most of whom will eventually be released, may be more dangerous when they emerge, studies suggest.”

25. Locating the Verbs • “Some officials have also been persuaded by research suggesting that isolation is vastly overused and that it does little to reduce overall prison violence. Inmates kept in such conditions, most of whom will eventually be released, may bemore dangerous when they emerge, studies suggest.”

26. Locating the “New” Information • “Some officials have also been persuaded by research suggesting that isolation is vastly overused and that it does little to reduce overall prison violence. Inmateskept in such conditions, most of whom will eventually be released, may bemore dangerous when they emerge, studies suggest.”

27. Rewrite the Sentence so It’s Clearer • “Some officials have also been persuaded by research suggesting that isolation is vastly overused and that it does little to reduce overall prison violence. Inmates kept in such conditions, most of whom will eventually be released, may be more dangerous when they emerge, studies suggest.” WHO is doing WHAT? Put verbs after subjects Use Theme-New to connect the two sentences

28. Example • Astronomers using data from NASA's Hubble Telescope launched in 1990 have observed what appears to be a clump of dark matter left behind in space from a wreck between massive clusters of galaxies. Current theories about dark matter that predict galaxies should be anchored to the invisible substance even during the shock of a collision are now being challenged. (Modified from: http://www.spacedaily.com/reports/Dark_Matter_Core_Defies_Explanation_999.html)

29. Find the Topic Positions • Astronomers using data from NASA's Hubble Telescope launched in 1990 have observed what appears to be a clump of dark matter left behind in space from a wreck between massive clusters of galaxies. Current theories about dark matter that predict galaxies should be anchored to the invisible substance even during the shock of a collision are now being challenged.

30. Find the Verbs • Astronomers using data from NASA's Hubble Telescope launched in 1990 have observed what appears to be a clump of dark matter left behind in space from a wreck between massive clusters of galaxies. Current theories about dark matter that predict galaxies should be anchored to the invisible substance even during the shock of a collision are now being challenged.

31. Identify the “New” Information • Astronomers usingdata from NASA's Hubble Telescope launched in 1990 have observed whatappears to be a clump of dark matter left behind in space from a wreck between massive clusters of galaxies. Current theories about dark matter that predictgalaxies should be anchored to the invisible substance even during the shock of a collision are now being challenged.

32. Identify the “New” Information • Astronomers usingdata from NASA's Hubble Telescope launched in 1990 have observed whatappears to be a clump of dark matter left behind in space from a wreck between massive clusters of galaxies. Current theories about dark matter that predictgalaxies should be anchored to the invisible substance even during the shock of a collision*are now being challenged*.

33. Find Buried Information • What new or necessary information is buried in this example? • Astronomers usingdata from NASA's Hubble Telescope launched in 1990 have observed whatappears to be a clump of dark matter left behind in space from a wreck between massive clusters of galaxies. Current theories about dark matter that predictgalaxies should be anchored to the invisible substance even during the shock of a collision*are now being challenged*.

34. Working Through An Example (Image:http://www.abstractinnovations.co.uk/services/team-building/)

35. Evaluate this Passage • Abell 520 is a gigantic merger of galaxy clusters located 2.4 billion light-years away. Dark matter is not visible, although its presence and distribution is found indirectly through its effects. Dark matter can act like a magnifying glass, bending and distorting light from galaxies and clusters behind it. Astronomers can use this effect, called gravitational lensing, to infer the presence of dark matter in massive galaxy clusters. (From://www.spacedaily.com/reports/Dark_Matter_Core_Defies_Explanation_999.html)

36. Identifying Theme-New • Abell 520is a gigantic merger of galaxy clusters located 2.4 billion light-years away.. Dark matteris not visible, although its presence and distribution is found indirectly through its effects.Dark matter can act like a magnifying glass, bending and distorting light from galaxies and clusters behind it. Astronomerscan use this effect, called gravitational lensing, to infer the presence of dark matter in massive galaxy clusters. (From: http://www.spacedaily.com/reports/Dark_Matter_Core_Defies_Explanation_999.html)

37. More Tips for Writing Clearly and Concisely • Use “This” + Summary word (or both / these / one + summary word) to collect information the reader now knows and move him/her forward. • Astronomerscan use this effect, called gravitational lensing, to infer the presence of dark matter in massive galaxy clusters.

38. Applying the Writing Strategies for Coherence

39. Practice • Working in groups, use the strategies discussed today to rewrite your assigned passage so that it reads more clearly for the reader. • Make the writer clearer by moving the verbs closer to the subjects. • Replace “to be” verbs with active verbs when the sentence will be more concise and clear by doing so. • Use Theme-new and “this” + summary phrases to logically link the sentence content in your example.

40. Take-Away Strategies • Use theme-new analysis of your writing to improve clarity and “flow”. • Keep the verb close to the subject, in particular when explaining something complicated. • Use active verbs, whenever possible and logical, to make clear the interactions between ideas. • Put new information in the main parts of the sentence, not in parenthetical phrases. • Avoid using unclear pronouns in the topic position.

41. Some Discussions to Consider about Scientific Writing • The Dilemma of writing for reproducibility https://scientistseessquirrel.wordpress.com/2015/02/27/reproducibility-your-methods-section-and-400-years-of-angst/ • Using Passive Voice in Scientific Writing: http://www.sci.utah.edu/~macleod/writing/passive-letters.html

43. Send graduate school essays and/or presentation drafts to Brett Griffiths, PhDbgriff@umich.edu or griffithsb09@Macomb.edu

44. Thank you!Brett Griffiths, PhD Bgriff@umich.edu griffithsb09@Macomb.edu

45. Working Through An Example (Image:http://www.abstractinnovations.co.uk/services/team-building/)

46. Evaluate this Paragraph for Clarity • The average amount of commercials a thirty minute program airs is something like eight minutes long. That leaves 22 minutes of programming, shorter if there are more commercials to air. The reality is that without commercials there would be no program. That includes your local news station as well. Advertisers pay big bucks to air their commercials, their money is what allows you to view the days important events on your television. They control how much news will be given on any given day. That however is not the only thing they control. They also control what goes on the news. News stations are careful as not to offend their advertisers with any of their stories in fear that they may revoke their commercials and with it take a huge sum of money. (From: http://instruct.westvalley.edu/lafave/writsamp0.htm)

47. Locating the Topic Position • The average amount of commercials a thirty minute program airs is something like eight minutes long. That leaves 22 minutes of programming, shorter if there are more commercials to air. The reality is that without commercials there would be no program. That includes your local news station as well. Advertisers pay big bucks to air their commercials, their money is what allows you to view the days important events on your television. They control how much news will be given on any given day. That however is not the only thing they control. They also control what goes on the news. News stations are careful as not to offend their advertisers with any of their stories in fear that they may revoke their commercials and with it take a huge sum of money. (From http://instruct.westvalley.edu/lafave/writsamp0.htm)

48. Locating the Verbs • The average amount of commercials a thirty minute program airs is something like eight minutes long. That leaves 22 minutes of programming, shorter if there are more commercials to air. The reality is that without commercials there would be no program. That includes your local news station as well. Advertisers pay big bucks to air their commercials, their money is what allows you to view the days important events on your television. Theycontrol how much news will be given on any given day. That howeverisnot the only thing they control. They also control what goes on the news. News stations are careful as not to offend their advertisers with any of their stories in fear that they may revoke their commercials and with it take a huge sum of money. (From http://instruct.westvalley.edu/lafave/writsamp0.htm)

49. Locating the “New” • The average amount of commercials a thirty minute program airs is something like eight minutes long. That leaves 22 minutes of programming, shorter if there are more commercials to air. The reality is that without commercials there would be no program. That includes your local news station as well. Advertisers pay big bucks to air their commercials, their money is what allows you to view the days important events on your television. Theycontrolhow much news will be given on any given day. That howeverisnot the only thing they control. They also controlwhatgoes on the news. News stations are careful as not to offend their advertisers with any of their stories in fear that they may revoke their commercials and with it takea huge sum of money. (From http://instruct.westvalley.edu/lafave/writsamp0.htm)