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2. “I guess I always had feelings for younger boys. I hate myself so much at times, and I feel ashamed and dirty, but I’ve tried all I can to change… The guilt has led me to self-mutilation, but I haven’t cut in five months.” —Vince, 15

3. “I first realized when I was about 12. I told myself, ‘No, you aren’t really one of those guys.’ Sometimes when the denial didn't work, crying myself to sleep was the only option.” —Iggy, 20

4. Sexual attraction to children usually begins in adolescence. —American Psychiatric Association, 2000

5. Sexual interest in younger children may begin before puberty. —Gene Abel, Child Molestation Research & Prevention Institute

6. In all likelihood the pedophile has known he is attracted to children for years, probably since the age of 10. —G. F. Pranzarone, Department of Psychology, Roanoke College, VA

7. “I been thinking about other boys and because there younger than me worrying that maybe im a pedo and what that means for the rest of my life because everyone hates pedos and its making me miserable.” —Kevin, 12

8. “I made myself believe I was gay at the age of 11, but I knew I wasn't. From that time on I found myself living in isolation. Still do actually, after hearing all about pedophiles gone wrong.” —Mike, 24

9. “I completely isolated myself from people. At one point I called the police and told them that I had slit my wrist. Although I had and have no intentions to end my life, I cut many slashes in my wrist and blood started to drip.” —Alfonso, 19

10. “I started smoking pot, which eventually led to other things. Drugs didn't really work so well to make me forget. I decided that I was going to have myself castrated. Then I realized that I could just chemically castrate myself with pills. I ordered some androcur online from overseas.” —Iggy, 20

11. SOCIETY RESPONDS

12. You make our skin crawl. —WKYC-TV, Cleveland, June 12, 2002

13. Your mind is beyond decent imagination. —Newsweek, March 16, 2001

14. You are abnormal. —Fred Berlin, Johns Hopkins Sexual Disorders Clinic, MSNBC interview, February 3, 2006

15. You make people nauseous. You are a reprehensible freak. —Leonard Pitts Jr., Pulitzer Prize winning columnist, Miami Herald, August, 2007

16. You are intolerable. —Jae Weiss, Valley Trauma Center, Northridge, California, March 25, 2006

17. You are reviled by society. —Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, May 27, 2002

18. You are indefensible. —Raymond Fowler, CEO, American Psychological Association, June 9, 1999

19. You are a predator. —Association for the Treatment of Sexual Abusers, 2005

20. Your mind is so vastly different from normal humanity that you are not truly human. You can’t be allowed to live in society. —Anti-pedophile website

21. You have a sex drive so immensely different from most of us we can barely imagine it exists. —Gene Abel, Child Molestation Research & Prevention Institute

22. On average, you will molest and destroy over 100 children. —Gene Abel, Child Molestation Research & Prevention Institute

23. You will spend your life manipulating adults and maneuvering to gain easy access to children. You will groom them to victimize them. You may have hundreds of victims over the course of your lifetime. You are the most dangerous and predatory kind of sex offender. —Association for the Treatment of Sexual Abusers, 2005

24. You will molest either children in your own family or children outside your family. You will threaten them to prevent them from telling others. You will develop complicated techniques for gaining access to them. You may trade them with other pedophiles. —American Psychiatric Association, 1997

25. You may mutilate or murder children. —Nursing Spectrum Magazine, July 1, 2002

26. You have no choice but to become a criminal. The worst kind of criminal.

27. You have a twisted sexual compulsion for children totally different from normal criminality. —Crime Library, 2007

28. You are the sickest of the sick. You are truly perverted and you are not curable. —Jeb Bush, Governor of Florida, February, 2006

29. Your morals are twisted and your mind is distorted. You are cunning and deceitful. You have a constant, strong need for domination and control. Your inadequacy is masked by arrogance. You have a primitive conscience, if any. —Brown University Child and Adolescent Behavior Letter, March, 1999

30. Predator. Animal. Not truly human.

31. You will be a perpetrator of vile crimes. We must adopt a national, zero-tolerance attitude toward you. We must arrest you, prosecute you mercilessly, and keep you behind bars. —Attorney General Alberto R. Gonzales, Dec. 8, 2006

32. We will target you in a clinical and ruthless way. —Jim Gamble, Child Exploitation & Online Protection Centre, May 11, 2006

33. Unless… You get therapy?

34. In treatment, young teenagers (13 to 15) have been compelled to recite creeds including “I am a pedophile and am not fit to live in human society... I can never be trusted...everything I say is a lie...I can never be cured.” —Mark Chaffin & Barbara Bonner, Center on Child Abuse and Neglect, University of Oklahoma, Nov. 1998

35. Teenage boys have admitted to offense histories they did not have because it was required for release from residential programs. These incidents cannot be dismissed as isolated examples but are directly derived from prevailing treatment models. —Mark Chaffin & Barbara Bonner, Center on Child Abuse and Neglect, University of Oklahoma, Nov. 1998

36. Pathways treatment workbook: • What is it about you (your personality) that allowed you to commit a sex offense? • List everybody with whom you have ever had sexual contact.  • List all of the people you have hurt or affected as a result of your selfish, hurtful, or criminal behavior. • Describe in detail what you have done to them.  • How did you groom your victims? • What kind of force or threats did you use? • Describe how you denied your sexual behavior, and list everybody you denied to.  • Explain how many victims you really had, and how much force and coercion you really used.

37. Pathways treatment workbook: You cannot be cured.

38. From a treatment program in Texas: Write the following letter to your romantic partner: • I am a sex offender and I always will be. • I will lie to you. • I will try to outsmart you. • I will not keep my promises. • I will exploit you and take advantage of you. • I will be unresponsive to your emotions. • I will run away from reality.

39. From a treatment program in Texas: Your deviant cycle involves “stinking thinking,” lies you tell yourself, and other distortions. Write down at least ten criminal thinking defects that apply to you. Write in some way that there is something wrong with people like you (offender).

40. Pathways treatment workbook: Fill out the “Fantasy Tracking Form” every time you masturbate, as well as every time you have an inappropriate sexual thought (deviant sexual fantasy). Things to bring up in your weekly group session: Your deviant sexual fantasies and how often you masturbate.

41. You may be required to masturbate to deviant sexual fantasies. If you become aroused, you will be told to switch to an appropriate fantasy or exposed to an aversive stimulus such as ammonia. —Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, 1999

42. Behavioral conditioning with noxious stimuli, such as ammonia and, possibly, low-intensity electric shock, may be effective. —U.S. Office of Juvenile Justice, March 2001

43. Many are tested for deviant sexual responses by a penile plethysmograph slipped around the penis as a patient views nude photographs. The program includes use of aversion therapy, in which patients inhale ammonia to prevent inappropriate arousal. Treatment made one girl suicidal and a boy violent and homicidal. —Arizona Republic, July, 1992

44. Aversion therapy is experimental. There are no follow-up studies indicating it is effective and not harmful. —Judith Becker, plethysmography proponent, founder of ATSA, July 1992

45. But you aren’t normal anyway. —Phoenix Memorial Hospital Juvenile Sex Offender Treatment Program, July, 1992

46. “They told me I was disgusting. Morally unfit to live. They said, ‘Drop your pants’ and I did. They said ‘hook yourself up to the instrument’ and I did. And there I sat, alone in a dark room, sitting on a cold chair covered with butcher paper with a sensor on me recording how ‘deviant’ I really was. I had to take polygraphs and do weekly ‘covert sensitization’ tapes, describing in detail sexually ‘deviant’ fantasies and why it was bad to have these. —Rob, 18

47. I felt like someone was chewing on my heart. The pain spiraled downwards, layers of guilt and shame and fear until I hated who people said I was. I was 16 and I cried, hours upon hours of tears, weeks on weeks of feeling nothing, months on months of pain, years on years of longing.” —Rob, 18

48. Use of involuntary aversive treatment is a clear violation of ethical standards. —U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, 1998

49. Plethysmography is an Orwellian procedure that is always a violation of personal dignity. —U.S. District Court Senior Judge John T. Noonan, June 20, 2006

50. Sex offender treatment programs require therapeutic staff to explicitly and uncompromisingly adopt particular values and practices which cannot be reconciled with traditional mental health ethics in any way. —B. Glaser, Western Criminology Review, 2003