Relationships Matter: Understanding The Transition to College

1. Relationships Matter:Understanding The Transition to College Presented by: Leah Bridger, MA, LMFT Senior Counselor, UW Bothell 425.352.5429 Tim Humes, MSW, LICSW Counselor, UW Bothell 425.352.3582

2. Overview • Transition issues for new students • Academic • Social • Emotional • How parents can help • When “stress” becomes “distress” • Information on student mental health counseling services

3. Academic • Increase in academic workload * Extensive reading and writing assignments • Many projects due in relatively short amounts of time • Potential to fall behind very quickly • New study habits are usually needed, including: • Study schedule • Study environment (s)

4. Academic, cont. As your student makes adjustments to keep up with the increased academic load, there will be some impact on time spent as a family. • Communication Tip: “We realize that you have a lot of coursework and will need to develop some new ways to study. What can we do to support you in keeping a good study schedule?”

5. Social & Emotional • New environment, new faces • Many people of different ages and backgrounds • Some feelings of loss due to leaving familiar environment and friends behind • May feel isolated • Need to make new friends and find ways to “fit in” • May be living with roommates for the first time • Depending on student, can be exciting, challenging, or stressful

6. Social & Emotional, cont. A delicate balance: • New students want and need to become more independent • New students may also feel a need for extra support during this time of change • Tip: Keep the lines of communication open. Be there to listen, offer support, and encourage discussion.

7. How Parents Can Help • Recognize that this is a new developmental stage for your son or daughter - Part of successful adjustment includes “trial and error” while learning new skills and competencies • Provide guidance and support, while empowering your child to solve problems on her own • Avoid “rescuing” your son or daughter from new challenges & responsibilities

8. How Parents Can Help, cont. • Listen, and then listen some more • Listen with empathy and interest (“That sounds difficult… how did you handle it?” or “Tell me more…”) • Do not interrupt with a quick solution • Ask questions for clarification (without blame or judgment) • Visit, if your student is living away from home • Let your child know that he does not have to protect you from problems. Keep the door open for additional conversation.

9. Additional Communication Examples • “I know that you want to make friends and do well in your classes. If you find yourself struggling, please know that I am here to listen and to support you.” • “We know that you have a lot more work now than you did in High School. How are you managing with all of the new material & deadlines?” • “What do you like (or dislike) about your classes?” • Inevitably, there will be something that your child does not like. Encourage your son or daughter to come up with his or her own problem-solving ideas.

10. Communication Examples, cont. For parents of students living away from home: • “How are you getting along with your roommates?” • “How are you managing with cooking and laundry?” • “How have you been able to create study space and time for yourself?”

11. Transition to Higher Education may be Stressful Some changes in behavior and mood can be expected. Sometimes general adjustment stress can turn to distress.

12. When “Stress” becomes “Distress” What you may see: Physical: • Weight gain or loss; eating more or less • Sleep pattern changes; sleeping more, trouble falling asleep, increased napping • Stomach distress • Headaches , muscle tension, other pain • Fatigue • It is important to see a doctor if there are concerns about physical problems.

13. When “Stress” becomes “Distress,” cont. Emotional: • Withdrawal from family and friends; loss of interest in activities that were once fun • Irritability • Sadness, crying • Increased dependency • Excessive fears and worries • Difficulty making decisions • Appears overwhelmed

14. Counseling Services Overview • For any personal concern causing distress or interfering with academic progress • Typical concerns include stress, relationship issues, anxiety, depression, and adjustment issues. • Free • Confidential • Referral coordination • Consultation for faculty, staff and parents • Web page resources including confidential mental health screenings

15. Reach out if You are Concerned If you believe there is a significant change that goes beyond a general transition or adjustment, reach out. Tip: “I’ve noticed that you seem sad (unhappy, withdrawn) lately. I care about you and am here to talk whenever you’d like. • * Parents may consult with Counseling Services: (425) 352-3183 • * Parents may contact 24-hour community crisis lines: • King County: (206) 461-3222 • Snohomish County: (800) 584-3578

16. “I learned during orientation that there are free counseling services on campus and that it’s easy to make an appointment.” • Go to ‘Current Student’ on the UW Bothell website, find ‘Counseling’ under ‘Student Services’ and call the number listed. (425) 352-3183

17. Sources “Adolescent depression,” MedlinePlus. Retrieved June 29, 2010 from http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/001518.htm Hatch, C. and Skipper, T. (2004). Supporting Your student’s success. A handbook published by the National Orientation Directors Association and the National Resource Center for The First-Year Experience & Students in Transition. Kadison, R. (2004). College of the overwhelmed. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass. “Your Adolescent – Anxiety and Avoidant Disorders,” American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry. Retrieved June 29, 2010 from http://www.aacap.org/cs/root/publication_store/your_adolescent anxiety_and_avoidant_disorders