“…On Mentoring”

1. “…On Mentoring” November 2004 Presented to the Wichita section of the Society of Women Engineers Jan Eaton, Executive Coach Member of the Boeing Leadership Development Group

2. Agenda • To mentor or not to mentor, that is the question? • How to choose a mentor; eeny, meany, miney, MO! • Welcome to Mentoring 101

3. To Mentor or not to Mentor… Every winning horse has a great trainer who thinks about tomorrow’s challenges while the horse is winning races today. Winning horses spend a lot of time in training…their success is no accident. Winning managers develop their organization’s talent too. MAKING HORSES DRINK

4. To Mentor or not to Mentor… • People with mentors are twice as likely to stay. That’s why mentoring programs have doubled in numbers in recent years. • Companies are giving creative incentives to mentors, pairing mentors with new hires, and offering group mentoring and online mentoring to hasten development of skills LOVE ‘EM OR LOSE ‘EM

5. To Mentor or not to Mentor This presentation is NOT about structured mentoring programs. It IS about YOU as a mentor and/or a protégé.

6. To Mentor or not to Mentor… I was keenly aware that my company didn’t pay the highest wages for the job I do. At times it nagged at me. I would say to myself, “You know, you could get much more money for this job somewhere else.” One day, I decided to draw up a chart of the pluses and minuses of my job. I started to realize how many opportunities I had to learn.

7. To Mentor or not to Mentor… My boss was really good at knowing when I was ready to go to the next level, and she always offered the next step of learning, even before I would think of it. I was able to get exposure to other divisions and serve on multifunctional task teams. My manager took time to talk with me about success and about how to do things better.

8. To Mentor or not to Mentor… When I made my list, I realized how far I had come in a couple of years. I decided to stay because I didn’t believe that all this would be easy to find in another company.

9. To Mentor or not to Mentor… SO WHAT DOES A MENTOR DO? MODEL Be aware of your own role modeling ENCOURAGE Support your people in risk-taking NURTURE Get to know your people’s unique skills and capabilities

10. To Mentor or not to Mentor… TEACH ORGANIZATIONAL REALITY Tell it like it is Help them avoid those organizational minefields that are never written about (POLITICS!)

11. To Mentor or not to Mentor… A wonderful maxim buried deep in management literature suggests that people are more likely to trust “copers” than “masters.”

12. To Mentor or not to Mentor MODELING: A world-class lecturer on effective parenting asked a group of 200 parents, many of whom were older, what they thought was the one way to definitely raise self-esteem in children. No one hit the jackpot. The speaker said the ability of the parent to say “ I was wrong” had the greatest effect on the self-esteem of children.

13. To Mentor or not to Mentor… How REAL can you be? PRETTY REAL Modeling as a mentoring behavior means watching for opportunities to show how you’ve coped, giving permission to others to do the same.

14. To Mentor or not to Mentor… ENCOURAGEMENT: Encouragement is in the eye of the beholder. Just-in-Time Approach: • Recognize- Notice Something • Verbalize- Say Something • Mobilize- Do Something

15. To Mentor or not to Mentor… Any of the three steps will encourage, but all three combined have power. Recognize- Manager: “ Hmm, looks great I didn’t know you like this kind of stuff.” (Good) Recognize and Verbalize- Manager: “This is really good. Is this something you’d like to do more of?” (Better) Recognize, Verbalize, Mobilize- Manager: “If you like this kind of work, why not let Marc in Graphics know, and while you’re there, find out when he’s offering his next graphics course.” (Best)

16. To Mentor or not to Mentor… NURTURING: Nurturing on the run… Countless employees who have left their corporations say that their managers never stopped long enough to understand them or support them in their development.

17. To Mentor or not to Mentor… ALAS… From an interview with a senior level manager in a high-tech company: Interviewer: Did you ever have a mentor? Manager: You bet. He was my manager. He really cared about me. He’d stop in all the time, ask me some great questions, get me to think about what I was doing and why. Interviewer: Do you do that for anyone? Manager: No, I would like to, but we don’t really have time these days.

18. To Mentor or not to Mentor… Mentoring takes time, but not a lot. Mainly, it takes a willingness to show another person you genuinely care.

19. To Mentor or not to Mentor… TEACH ORGANIZATIONAL REALITY: ALAS… She was technically brilliant. She graduated in the top 2 percent of her class in one of the top schools in the country. We offered opportunities for her to work with other brilliant colleagues, to sit on a variety of committees that made decisions on our future. We had great plans for her. She was so quick that she started to rub people the wrong way. She ignored chain of command, and stepped on toes. No one gave her alternative ways to deal with people. People avoided her. She became more and more isolated. And she became more and more unhappy. Before we knew enough to try to talk it out and give her some help. We lost her.

20. To Mentor or not to Mentor… Employees need to know: • Your point of view • How to get and give resources • What kinds of influence strategies work and don’t work • What Sr. leaders want and don’t want in their reports, presentations, and meetings. AND they need to know before they walk into a minefield.

21. To Mentor or not to Mentor… Good mentoring topics: • What have I learned about what counts in this organization? • How have my failures and successes grown me? • What most surprised me about the culture? • What was the most difficult culture shift for me to make? • What are the ways to really get into hot water here? • How do people derail themselves? • What do I know now that I wish I had known then?

22. To Mentor or not Mentor… People have a hunger for FRANK conversation. Most people claim they do not like to play politics. But it is a reality of corporate life. A MENTOR educates and supports a protégé during good times and when stumbling.

23. To Mentor or not to Mentor… Know one of the best ways to mentor? Let your people mentor you…

24. “On Mentoring….” How to choose a mentor; eeny, meany, miney, MO!…

25. How to choose a Mentor FACT or FICTION? Julia Roberts was discovered at the corner drugstore and catapulted into stardom. Loretta Lynn was an instant success at the Grand Ole’ Opry’. Ja y Leno started his very successful career on the Tonight Show. If I work hard and do a good job a powerful person will notice me and ask to be my mentor.

26. How to choose a Mentor Step One…Self-Search Ask yourself: • Why do you want a mentor? • What are you willing to invest in a mentoring relationship? • How real are your expectations?

27. How to choose a Mentor Step Two…Draw a mental picture of your mentor • Is the mentor an executive, manager, peer? • Does the mentor support your organization or another? • What specific skills does the mentor possess that you admire? • Do you need “A” mentor or multiple mentors?

28. “…On Mentoring” Welcome to Mentoring 101

29. Mentoring 101 How do I ask a person to mentor me? Don’t…ask to discuss some development issues with the person first. WHY??? What if you decide this person is not a good fit for your mentor?

30. Mentoring 101 Who schedules the first session and how long should it be? The protégé takes the action to schedule the first meeting. Request an hour but if not possible don’t go any shorter than 30 min.

31. Mentoring 101 What happens at the first session? Unless the meeting is carefully choreographed by the protégé…not much. Mentoring sessions should not be left to open discussion. The purpose of the session should be outlined in the beginning Prepared questions are helpful The next session May or May NOT be discussed

32. Mentoring 101 As the mentoring relationship develops these become very important: • TRUST • TIME • DIALOGUE • SHARING

33. Mentoring 101 Trust • Takes time to accomplish • What is discussed in the session stays in the session • Work to create the environment • Honesty is the key

34. Mentoring 101 Time • “Don’t call us, we’ll you syndrome. The mentor must be available to the protégé. • The protégé MUST be logical about the time spent with the mentor • Regularly scheduled sessions will help

35. Mentoring 101 Dialogue • Conversations are richer when both participate • Mentors…Wait to advise until asked • Protégé…Don’t become too dependent on advice

36. Mentoring 101 Sharing • Sharing is a two-way road • Honesty, openness and caring are the drivers • Really learn to listen…without thinking of your next response

37. Mentoring 101 When the mentoring relationship has reached its completion don’t be afraid to end it.