Effective “Boss” Management Winning Strategies for Managing “Up” February 11, 2010

Effective “Boss” Management Winning Strategies for Managing “Up” February 11, 2010 Rossella Derickson 408 605 3021rossella@corporate-wisdom.com Krista Henley 831 239 9192 krista@corporate-wisdom.com

Rossella Derickson & Krista Henley, M.A., LMFT, principals of www.Corporate-Wisdom.com, have translated their business and organizational psychology experience into Wisdom in the Workplace, consulting, training and coaching modules that support healthy group and company dynamics. Their classes to build business and leadership skills have been taught to CEO's, executives, and entrepreneurs in High Tech, Biotech, Insurance, and many other industries including leading universities. Connecting CSR to individual, team and organizational purpose at work is a passionate focus area. They are the authors of Awakening Social Responsibility - A Call to Action. Book Web Site: www.CSRAction.com Rossella and Krista are the Directors of the South Bay Organizational Development Network, www.SBODN.com, a leading edge forum focused on making a difference in how organizations are run in Silicon Valley.

Objectives to Managing UP Managing UP means focusing on the relationship with your boss to obtain the best results for you, your boss and your organization. • Understand what it means to manage up and why it is important • Diagnose your manager’s work style and your own work style • Develop strategies for managing your manager

Best Boss, Worst Boss Group 1: What were some of the qualities and quirks of the best boss you ever had? Group 2: What were some of the qualities and quirks of the worst boss you ever had? Small group discussion, with several group 1's and 2's. A spokesperson reports out on the qualities.

Difficult bosses are a threat to your job security. Difficult bosses cause conflict throughout the organization. Being upset and angry adds stress to the workplace. What is stimulated in us by a difficult boss and his or her behavior is the "gift" that we can take away from an otherwise upsetting experience. The gift is the insight into the "unhealed" places in us that are triggered by difficult behavior - especially from an authority! Anger at the Boss

Adopting a global perspective about being human. "I am that, I am. Acknowledge to yourself that all difficult behaviors are inside of you! The not so golden rule - "you do unto others what was done unto you." Unhook the power struggle. Find compassion for the place where you are wounded / your boss is wounded. If you can, find a way to make your boss successful in spite of his or her difficult behavior and you will make yourself successful, too. Compassion for the Boss

Difficult Boss Relationships • Boss doesn’t think you are as good as you think you are • You think the boss has the job you should • Large gap in skills leading to undervaluing/not respecting the other (either direction) • Mismatches in ethics, values and integrity • Mismatches in management practices • Mismatches in style, philosophy, pace and motivation • Poor communication – in both directions Discuss: What difficulties do you have with your boss?

Not comfortable with bosses May be tense in boss’s presence May not be open to coaching or direction from the boss Problems dealing comfortably with authority Poor boss relationship gets in the way of personal productivity Responds and relates well to bosses Would work harder for a good boss Is open to learning from bosses who are good coaches and who provide latitude Likes to learn from those who have been there before Easy to challenge and develop, comfortably coach-able UnskilledSkilledAt Boss Relationships

Negative Belief Systems Identify one or two beliefs that are getting in the way of your performance and are root causes for your development areas: Positive Belief Systems: We have learned through our experiences to believe in positive outcomes. Negative Belief Systems: Learned patterns of defensive reasoning whose purpose is to help us defend against painful experiences and loss of control. Performance, whether peak or poor, is linked to belief systems. When working to improve behavior, understanding negative beliefs is core to your ability to make lasting change and performance improvement. Trigger Limiting Belief Learned Defense Reaction Positive and Negative Beliefs

Identify Negative Beliefs Dyad: Can You Identify a Negative Belief? • I can’t trust anyone to get it done. • I’m stuck cleaning things up. • I don’t belong. • It’s a struggle to get things done. • No matter what I do it’s always wrong. Discuss: Cross Stimulating Beliefs We have the most trouble with bosses whose beliefs are opposite of our own, cross stimulating the upset that is unresolved in BOTH of us.

Successful Interactions Managers are typically hired for their technical competence and then “rewarded” with managerial responsibilities. Let's begin with YOUR Boss: • What works well? • What doesn’t work? • What keeps you awake at night? • What keeps your boss awake at night? • What sets your boss off? What are your boss’s hot buttons? • What does your boss do when a hot button is triggered? • What sets you off? What are your hot buttons? • What do you do when a hot button is triggered?

Style Alignment - Circle Each Side Boss Work Style? • Formal or informal? • Briefed in writing or brainstorming? • Energized or annoyed by sidebars? • Hands on or regular, informal updates? • Energized or avoids conflict? • Decisive or open-ended? Your Work Style? • Formal or informal? • Briefed in writing or brainstorming? • Energized or annoyed by sidebars? • Hands on or regular, informal updates? • Energized or avoids conflict? • Decisive or open-ended? Discuss: Are your styles aligned?

Developing Successful StrategiesTo Deal with Difficult Bosses / People The Insecure Bully - Puts you down - Picks on you in front of others _________________? The Bull Dozer - Runs over you - Does not consider you in decisions ________________? The Manipulative Back Stabber - Takes your ideas - Makes him/herself look good at your expense ________________? The Raging Maniac - Uses rage to intimidate - Makes environment fearful / painful __________________?

Developing Successful StrategiesTo Deal with Difficult Bosses / People The Conflict Avoider - Makes bad behavior ok - Refuses to address the team dynamics _________________? The Gossip - Exploits your vulnerabilities - Cannot be trusted ___________________? The Micro Manager - Demands details that are irrelevant - Does not trust you / your work ___________________? The Withholder - Keeps important information hidden - Does not recognize or reward easily ___________________?

Developing Successful StrategiesTo Deal with Difficult Bosses / People The Control Freak - My way or the highway - Critical __________________? The Super Agreeable - Of course, yes - Poor follow up and follow through ___________________? The Data Collector - Always needs more data - Slow decision maker _________________? Other - What Else? ___________________? Triad: Discuss the way you cope currently with a difficult boss. Brainstorm new strategies for more successful interactions.

Effective Boss Management Let's explore ways to be more successful in your interactions withyour boss. Identify one issue with your boss that, if resolved, will make your work life better. ________________________________________________________ Evaluate your boss and evaluate yourself - what might be your triggers and what might be your boss's triggers? ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ Explore your difficult boss dynamics to find successful interaction - alternatives. Consider a few possibilities and jot them down: ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________

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Effective “Boss” Management Winning Strategies for Managing “Up” February 11, 2010