Discipline y la Rivalidad de Hermano

1. Discipline y la Rivalidad de Hermano James R. Meadows, Ph.D., Meadows Behavioral Health Tawnya Meadows, Ph.D. UNMC/Munroe-Meyer Institute

2. ¿Por qué no calmar al niño? ? • No permita al niño para aprender a cómo calmar • Proporciona “la atención buena” para la comportamiento inadecuada • el niño llega a ser más enojado

3. ¿Por qué no molió? • A largo plaza- no tiene en cuenta muchos ensayos que aprenden • no enseñan ser-calmar- puede aumentar el nivel • Padres a menudo se olvida lo que el niño se molió • Ninos hicieron en primer lugar para obtener molió

4. ¿Por qué no enseñarles una lección? • Algo malo no siempre puede suceder • los asuntos de la Seguridad (se acaba en la calle) • no siempre puede utilizar • enseña la comportamiento inadecuada (si usted me muerde yo le morderé)

5. Ignorar y "Time-out" • Quitan toda atención- el bueno y el malo • Ayudan a enseñar ser calmar • Permita para los ensayos de aprender de múltiplo

6. Previsibilidad • Repetición • Diferencia grande

9. “Active Ignoring” • Quite la atención del niño, inclusive contacto visual, el contacto físico, y el idioma verbal, hasta que el niño se comporte.

10. Time-out • Coloque a niño en el espacio neutral y quite toda la atención y la diversión. • 30 segundos - 2-3 minutos • Utilizan por todas partes. Ponga silla en el rincón aburrido. • Ignore toda conducta que ocurre en la silla. • Ocúpese de la primera ocasión de la conducta apropiada después que “Time-out” está sobre.

11. Time Out • Time-out es un lugar para calmar. • Time-out es un lugar para el niño de pensar acerca de lo que él hizo mal. • Los niños deben sentarse todavía y para deber ser callado. • Los niños deben parecerse a ellos están triste. • Time-out es un lugar o una silla. • Time-out trabaja todo por sí mismo.

12. Hacer ordenes directas, no indirectas. “Recoge tus juguetes. “ • Espera 5 segundos • Da una orden y una advertencia. “Recoge tus juguetes o time-out” • Espera 5 segundos • “Time-out”

14. Sibling Rivalry • Supervise play • Start with 5 minutes • gradually increase or decrease play according to behaviors • Reward appropriate play behaviors (praise, toys, snacks, etc.) every 15-30 seconds • Consequate inappropriate play behaviors using time-out

15. Sibling Rivalry Con’t • End play and introduce play at another time • Inappropriate play behaviors: • Hitting -- Snatching toys • Biting -- Throwing toys • Continue to monitor and reward appropriate play behaviors

16. Tips for Preventing/Minimizing Sibling Rivalry • Expecting a new baby • Knowledge of basic parenting skills • Children will imitate social behaviors they observe in others …Parents must be GOOD models! • Frequent, close, and accurate supervision  • Avoid over-identification • Above all, parents need to spend TIME with EACH ONE of their children • Fair but not equal • Avoid comparisons • Don't dismiss feelings

17. More Tips • Let siblings settle their own differences • Don’t take sides- It doesn’t matter “who started it,” because it takes two to make a quarrel.  Hold children equally responsible when ground rules get broken. • Ignore inappropriate- attend to appropriate! • When we can go the whole day or afternoon or evening, then everyone will earn a privilege • Children who are hungry, bored or tired are more likely to start fights • Don’t yell or lecture- it won’t help • Don’t typecast- let each child be who they are

18. . . .And More Tips • Develop a system for evenly distributing coveted privileges.  • Who gets to ride "shot gun" in the car • Who gets to push the elevator button • Who gets to chose where to go to eat lunch • Who gets to chose the television show, • Who does the dishes or takes out the trash • Kids need chances to do their own thing, play with their own friends without their sibling, and they need to have their space and property protected

19. . . . Still More Tips. . . • Teach social skills • Teach your kids positive ways to get attention from each other and how to approach another child and ask them to play • Ignoring the teasing • Simply agreeing (in a kidding way) that whatever the teaser is saying is true • Telling the teaser that enough is enough • When these measures aren't working ask the person in charge (parent, baby sitter) for help • When you are alone with each child, ask them once in a while what they like most and least about each brother and sister.  This will help you keep tabs on their relationships, and also remind you that they probably do have some positive feelings for each other!

20. Family Meeting • Have a Family Meeting • Discuss family issues, concerns, & positive events • Clarify the issue to be discussed • Generate possible solutions • Determine the most effective solutions • Make plans to implement the solution • Plan one fun activity for the coming week • Involve children in setting ground rules.  • No hurting (hitting, kicking, pinching, etc.) • No name-calling, yelling, or tattling • Any child that demands to be first, will go last • No making fun of a child who is being punished, or you get the same punishment • No fighting in the car, or you will pull over and stop until all is calm again

21. Discipline Check • Ask yourself: • Is the structure/are the consequences predictable? • Am I providing plenty of practice at good practice times? • Is there a high contrast?

22. Questions?

23. James Meadows, Ph.D. Meadows Behavioral Health (402) 270-4272 Tawnya Meadows, Ph.D. UNMC/MMI in partnership with CCH-Peds (402) 562-4444 Contact Information