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This resource offers practical techniques to help families affected by problem gambling, addressing guilt, stress, forgiveness, and acceptance. Learn how to push the right buttons, stop financial bleeding, and utilize smart technologies to support recovery. These strategies can aid in reframing stress, fostering forgiveness, and building trust within the family unit. Embrace acceptance and utilize support systems to navigate the challenges of living with a problem gambler. Available resources further enhance understanding and provide guidance in promoting a healthier family dynamic.
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Who really pushes the Buttons? Seven Techniques for Treating Families along with Problem GamblersGary Lange Ph.D. MFT, NCGC, BACC 760-773-1014 GaryLangePhD.com
Problem Gambling affects 8-10 Others(Lobsinger & Beckett, 1996)(Lange, 2012) Spouse, parent, child, friend Some also gamble Passive, dependent Distant, distracted
Family Case Wendy 50 Mother Realtor Codependent Physical Illnesses Miser Jose 48 Step Father Self employed Electrician P Gambler Recovering Alcoholic Shame Based Jackie 34 Single Unemployed Hypervigilant to addictions
1. Push the “Right Buttons”Lange, 2012 • Delusions • Educate about the Recovery “Process” • Remove “IP” label • “Yes we love you, No to gambling” • Read, Study, Practice • Read, Study, Practice… Read, Study, Practice….Read, Study, Practice
2. Stop the Bleeding Lange, 2012 • Assess for Safety • EXPECT Co-occurring Disorders • Stop the “financial bleeding”; harm reduction • Who are your clients? • Monitor severity of $$$ and legal problems
3. Recognize Family GuiltLange, 2012 • If only… • All have guilt and shame • Learn about Brain Impairment • Family Patterns • Enabling/Codependency
4. Reframe Stress Lange, 2012 • Stress is an Opportunity, a given • Decrease stress Decrease Craving/Reacting • Create structure/routines • Prioritize • Breathe • e.g.“When you gamble/react______, I feel…”
4. Reframe Stress (cont.) Lange, 2012 • Recognize and deal with feelings • Assertiveness • Tender (Passive) Tough (Bulldozer) • Say “Yes” and mean it • Say “No” and set limits • Say “No” to demands, violations
4. Reframe Stress (cont.) Lange, 2012 • Small contracts; recognize things in common • Face problems and changes • The other Vitamin C: “Connection”: GA, GamAnon, friends, family • Set health boundaries
5. Utilize Smart TechnologiesLange, 2012 • Record a Message • Set the timer • Write and save a Plan • Google; on-line sources • Make an App
5. Utilize Smart Technologies (cont.)Lange, 2012 • iPromises • DailyRecovery • iMoodJournal
6. Forgive and TrustLange, 2012 • Write a forgiveness list • Apologize • Grieve the losses • Ruth___ demands “the truth” • Forgiveness doesn’t mean its OK… • Forgetting is a spiritual release
7. AcceptLange, 2012 • Utilize your support system • Acceptance • Spiritual release • Change Today
Resources Berman, Linda and Siegel, Mary-Ellen, 2008, Behind the Eight-Ball, "A Guide for Families of Gamblers", University. Lange, Gary, 2010, You Bet Your Life: Pathological Gambling, DVD, GaryLangePhD.com Petry, Nancy, 2005, Pathological Gambling: Etiology, Comorbidity, and Treatment, Wash, DC., www.apa.org Sugg, Judith and Siegel, Renee 2009, Families Recovering Against All Odds: “Helping Family Members of Problem Gamblers Rebuild”, ABC Wellness Centre, Scottsdale, AZ
www.GaryLangePhD.com PUBLICATIONS: “A Gambling Affair”, Nat Council Problem Gambling Sp 2012, 15:1 “How Addictions Light Up Our Brains” Phactum Jan/Feb 2011; “My Car Drives Itself to the Casino” Phactum, Dec. 2007, p. 10; “Liar, Liar, Money’s on Fire” The Therapist Magazine, Mar/Apr 2007, p. 54-56; “Pathological Gambling” DVD $19.95
