Never Let Me Go Essay Revisions

1. Never Let Me Go Essay Revisions Day 2 Peer editing

2. Header!! • On the left side of the page, single spaced [Your name] Beresheim English III – [your period number] 30 October 2018 • Paper should be 12 point Times New Roman, double spaced

3. What to title it? • It can be anything related to your essay, but would be strongest if it address the overall theme/message you will be discussing • [Your theme] in Never Let Me Go • Example: The Dangers of Toxic Families in The Glass Menagerie

4. Check Turnitin.com for comments!! • I went through and left some initial quick comments for you – look at them!! • Common things: • Remember to capitalize proper nouns, like the Cottages, and the characters names • You need to use apostrophes when you cite dialogue from the novel. • When citing dialogue – character quotation marks become apostrophes • “Ruth said ‘I suppose so’” Note the apostrophes!! • No 1st or 2nd person pronouns • Avoid “This shows that”, etc. • If you used Mean Girls it is Cady, not Kady (my bad)

5. Title remindersAlways capitalize them!! What gets italicized? • Books • Movies • TV Shows What is in quotation marks? • Short stories • Songs • TV show episodes

6. Possessives • Make sure you use apostrophes! • Ruths – this refers to multiple Ruths (plural) • Ruth’s – this refers to something belonging to Ruth

7. Embedded quotations – movie/TV show lines from multiple characters • When you are citing evidence that has two or more characters talking, you will have an embedded quotation. Basically, you make the quotation look like a script. Janice is angry with Cady for not coming to her art show. When Janice, arrives, she confronts Cady: Cady: Oh, god. Janis: You dirty little liar! Cady: I'm sorry, I can explain. Janis: Explain how you forgot to invite us to your party? (Mean Girls). The conflict between Janice and Cady reveals …… • Note that the quotation itself is tabbed in, and your analysis continues again after you are done citing. • Your internal citation is the movie title in italics, or the episode title in quotation marks (“The Once and Future Flash”).

8. Citing song lyrics • When citing a song, make sure to use a slash mark to note the line breaks in the song. • “'Cause baby now we got bad blood/ You know it used to be mad love/ So take a look at what you've done/ 'Cause baby now we got bad blood” (Swift). • You put the artist’s name as your internal citation • Last name just for a singer • Full band name if it is a group, ie (Green Day).

9. Goal for today • Now that you have a revised your own draft, it is time to get a second (and third) set of eyes on it. • First, save a new copy of your essay and title it “Peer editing” – this way any comments made by your peers are on a separate document from your original. • Remember: your final draft is due tomorrow, October 30 at 7:05 AM! No exceptions!

10. How peer editing works • Trade seats with your partner • Use the “Review” comment tabs and highlighting to leave comments for your partner • Use the following notes to leave revision advice for your partner • You need to have at least 2 peopleedit your paper

11. Blend your quotations!! • Don’t forget this!!

12. Highlighted items = Something is incorrect Highlight the following: • Punctuation errors • Capitalization errors • Misspelled words • They’re/there/their errors • 1st/2nd pronouns used outside of cited evidence Remember, the writer should have removed these errors themselves; you are merely reminding them that they have failed to do so.

13. Leave a comment on context • Is their context clear? • If you can’t understand where in the book the quote is coming from, it’s probably not clear; let them know! • Is their context accurate? • Did they confuse two characters? Did they misidentify a character’s motivations? Let them know! Remember, you are responsible for your own understanding of the novel, but be a good editor and point out if changes need to be made.

14. Leave a comment on Analysis • Did they specifically state the device? If not, mark this! • Is the device accurate? If not, leave a comment. • Is the connection to their theme clear and specific? Let them know! • Did they say “This shows that”? Highlight it so they know to change it and make it more specific. You should have made sure this was done yesterday; now you will see if it makes sense to a reader.

15. Post Peer editing • Carefully read through your peer editors’ notes, and apply the necessary corrections.

16. So, you think you’re done?

17. Transition verbs Look through your essay, and consider adding/revising your transition words to help your essay flow from one point to the next more clearly and smoothly. • The transition words like also, in addition, and, likewise, add information, reinforce ideas, and express agreement with preceding material. • You can also try: furthermore, moreover, correspondingly, similarly • Transition phrases like but, rather and or, express that there is evidence to the contrary or point out alternatives, and thus introduce a change the line of reasoning (contrast). • You can also try: however, conversely, whereas • Words like “nevertheless” and “nonetheless” serve to emphasize that despite one thing, something else is still the case. For example: The student thought they were done writing; nevertheless, they still proofread one more time. • These transition words and phrases conclude, summarize and / or restate ideas, or indicate a final general statement. Also some words (like therefore) from the Effect / Consequence category can be used to summarize.

18. Analytical verbs • Do you find yourself saying “shows” all the time? Consider using a different analytical verb. Consult your analytical verb sheet, or the following verbs as well. • Instead of shows: illustrates, depicts, portrays, demonstrates, exemplifies, etc. • Instead of conveys: reveals, discloses, expresses, illustrates

19. Am I done now??? • MAYBE! • Let your essay sit for a bit, and read it through (out loud!) one more time tonight. • This will help you to catch any other errors, and will give you fresh insight onto things you can do to further improve your essay • You can also come in after school if you would like me to give you feedback on a specific part of your essay as well. Remember! Your essay is due at 7:05 AM Tuesday! No exceptions!