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Theory. Then create the image of the idealized or ideal self to defensively restructure the despised real self The drive toward actualizing the ideal self is called the neurotic search for glory. Manifests as: Need for perfection
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Theory • Then create the image of the idealized or ideal self to defensively restructure the despised real self • The drive toward actualizing the ideal self is called the neurotic search for glory. • Manifests as: • Need for perfection • Attempt to mold the whole personality into the idealized self • “Tyranny of the should”
Theory • Manifests itself (cont) • Neurotic ambition • Compulsive drive toward superiority • Although desire to excel at everything, often channeled into area most likely to succeed • Drive toward a vindictive triumph • “its chief aim is to put others to shame or defeat them through one’s very success; or to attain the power…to inflict suffering on them – mostly of a humiliating kind” • Most destructive of the three
Theory • Later added : • Real self • True core of persons being • Contains all potential of growth and health (possible self) • Damaged by parental indifference • Alienation from this and adoption of the idealized self is called the core neurotic conflict
Theory • Basic anxiety around parental indifference makes the child angry and resentful toward parents • Called this basic hostility • Creates conflict and anxiety for child • Child needs parents and wants to approach them • On the other hand hates them and wants to punish them • This is the basis of neurosis
Theory • A child deals with this by adopting one of three relationship strategies: • Accentuate dependency and move toward the parents • Accentuate hostility and move against the parents • Give up on the relationship and move away from the parents • Calls these the basic conflict
Theory • Moving Toward People: “If you love me, you will not hurt me” • Compliant Personality • Intense needs for affection and approval • Need for a partner • Need to restrict ones life within narrow boundaries • Goal is to achieve harmony with others and avoid friction
Theory • Compliant Personality • May mask underlying feelings of need to compete, excel, and dominate, or feelings of rage, anger and hostility • Called this the self-effacing solution • The ideal self is the despised self • Qualities of suffering, helplessness and martyrdom
Theory • Moving against people: “ If I have power, no one can hurt me” • Aggressive Personality • Need for control and power as protection against feelings of helplessness • Need to excel by exploiting others • Success and prestige are measures of their self worth • Driven by insecurity, anxiety, and hostility • Called this the expansive solution • Ultimate attempt to actualize the ideal self
Theory • Moving away from people: “If I withdraw, nothing can hurt me” • Detached personality • Detached from human affairs • Resigned to an emotionally flat life • Protection from being hurt by others • Intense needs of self sufficiency and perfection
Theory • Detached personality • Narrow limits of life so that will not have to be dependent on others • Remove selves from “inner battlefield” of their own conflicts • Called this the solution of resignation
Theory • Healthy people move between these and use what is appropriate when needed • Neurotics mainly emphasize one of the Neurotic solutions • Two less emphasized remain at work in the unconscious
Auxiliary Conflict Solutions • Creation of Blind Spots • Type of denial • Refusal to see the discrepancy between their behaviors and the idealized self
Auxiliary Conflict Solutions • Compartmentalization • Life compartmentalized with different rules for each • What happens in one has not effect or link to another • Situational ethics • Rationalization • Using logical, plausible, but inaccurate excuses to justify one’s perceived weaknesses, failures, or inconsistencies.
Auxiliary Conflict Solutions • Excessive self control • Avoidance of emotions (good or bad) • Arbitrary rightness • Because of difficulty in taking action, will appear to arbitrarily make decisions (showing one is arbitrarily right or in charge) (dogmatism)
Auxiliary Conflict Solutions • Elusiveness • Postpones making any decisions, voice any opinions, etc. • If I am not committed to anything, I can’t be wrong; If I am not wrong I can’t be criticized • Cynicism • Doesn’t believe in anything • By not believing in anything, I am immune to the disappointment of being committed to something shown to be false.