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Workshop on: Self-Image & Self-Esteem

Workshop on: Self-Image & Self-Esteem. Exploring Body Confidence & Self-Image Truth [Credits to Dove® Self-Esteem Fund & Dove® Real Beauty]

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Workshop on: Self-Image & Self-Esteem

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  1. Workshop on: Self-Image & Self-Esteem Exploring Body Confidence & Self-Image Truth [Credits to Dove® Self-Esteem Fund & Dove® Real Beauty] {Based on materials developed by Dr. Susie Orbach & Dr. Nancy Etcott at Harvard University and beat, the UK’s eating disorder charity.}(Adapted by MATTHEW 25:34-40 Ministries with permission.)The Facilitator of this workshop must not solicit funds for its conduct. Theology & Self-Image

  2. Every Day… (In North America)(Similar statistics for Europe) • 5388 youths are arrested • 4210 teens get a sexually transmitted disease (STD) • 3610 teens are assaulted; 80 are raped • 2861 drop out of school • 1377 teen girls become mothers; 1106 get an abortion • 1000 begin drinking; 500 begin using drugs; 420 get arrested for drug use • 6 commit suicide • 3 factors lead to these facts: lack of fatherly leadership, lack of TRUTH, & poor self-image Theology & Self-Image

  3. What Is This Workshop All About? • To provide understanding about issues that impact our self-image • To help you develop skills for positive self-esteem and body confidence God’s way. Theology & Self-Image

  4. Girl Facts • Over 70% of girls avoid certain activities because they feel badly about their looks. This impacts their behavior. For example: • 25% will not go to a social event, party, or club • 20% will not give an opinion • 16% will not go to school unless forced to • 15% will not go to a doctor • 92% of girls say they want to change at least 1 aspect of their physical appearance – weight is the #1 factor they want to change • 25% of college-aged women have an eating disorder • 40-50% of women are on a diet at any point in time; over 90% diet at some time during the year. Source: ‘Beyond Stereotypes’; Dove Global Study 2005 Theology & Self-Image

  5. Over 6 of 10 Teenage Girls Think They Would Be Happier If They Were Thinner 53% of 13 year olds 67% of 15 year olds78% of 17 year olds 91% of 19 year olds are unhappy abouttheir body; primarilyweight issues. Source: UK Body Image Survey January 2004 Bliss Magazine Theology & Self-Image

  6. Boy Facts • Looking at video gaming magazines makes boys want to get more muscles. • Physical appearance is as important to boys as it is to girls of the same age. • Look of strength, success, prosperity, in control • (Source: University of Illinois Study, Professor Kirsten Harrison, 181 boys, average age 8.8) • 1 in 5 boys are willing to take steroids to build body mass even if they are medically harmful and illegal. • 7% of 12th grade males have taken steroids (illegally) • (Survey by the Association of Student Athletes, 2008) Theology & Self-Image

  7. Poor Body Image Influences • Cultural icons (sports figures, movie stars, etc.) • Magazine advertisements • TV programs & advertisements; Movies • Examples in admired adults (especially parents) • Casual comments from parents & siblings • Toys and amusements • Comments from peers (often influenced by the above) • i.e. – The culture and home. Theology & Self-Image

  8. Models & Actors/Actresses • Widely portrayed in the media. • Less than 50% of the body fat of normal healthy women. (Source: British Medical Association, 2000) • Thinness is further accentuated by video & photo editing (already thin models are made to look even thinner than they are) • In 1930, models & actresses reflected average women in height & weight • In 2007, average woman in USA is 162 cm & 64 kg; the average model is 180 cm (11% taller) & 53 kg (17% lighter) • The media even accentuate these already great differences Theology & Self-Image

  9. What We Will Be Doing • Understanding what “Positive self-esteem” and “Positive body confidence” mean as components of self-image • Understanding what affects them self-image • Improving our self-esteem and self-image skills. • Seeking to see ourselves as God sees us (i.e., develop a true self-image). Theology & Self-Image

  10. Some Ground Rules • No one will force you to speak, but all are encouraged to participate • Everyone’s point-of-view counts – we want to hear what everybody says. • Let’s show respect by: • Listening to other’s opinions • Being non-judgmental • Putting our hands up to speak • If we hear something private, let’s keep it private. Theology & Self-Image

  11. What do positive self-esteem & body confidence mean Theology & Self-Image

  12. Answers Include: • Knowing & liking yourself • Being happy to be you • Accepting your body like it is • Not being self-conscious about your body • Holding your head up high about the way your body is. • Looking at your body the way God looks at you. Theology & Self-Image

  13. Were You Born With Self-Esteem? • Hands up if you think you were born with a certain amount of self-esteem. Theology & Self-Image

  14. Research Shows: • Self-esteem develops during childhood. • Most cultures diminish our self-esteem or encourage false expectations of self-image. • Cultural influences emphasize your physical attributes; God emphasizes your character. • Self-image becomes more difficult to change as we become older – but it is never too late. • All of us can learn how to strengthen it and turn negative self-esteem into positive self-image. Theology & Self-Image

  15. Activity 1.1 – Self-Esteem Supports • Objective: to understand what builds self-esteem by identifying the things that that make us feel good. • We can support ourselves when times are hard • Instructions: think about what makes you feel good about yourself & builds your self-esteem. • Be as specific as possible • Think about specific activities, places, times of day, past-times, and people. • Place them as ‘bricks’ under YOU (add more bricks as needed) Theology & Self-Image

  16. YOU Theology & Self-Image

  17. Self-Esteem Supports • Did you know? • Laughter is scientifically proven to make you feel good. (The Bible contains many commandments; among the most frequent are, “be glad” “be joyful” and “rejoice (in the Lord) always”) • Sports may give you a different and more positive feeling about your body • Why do you think this is so? • Activities at which you excel make you feel good • Applause makes you feel good • Are all of the things that make you feel good always good for you? – discuss this. Theology & Self-Image

  18. True & Good Self-Image Supports • We are made in the image of God (Genesis 1:26-27). This means we are: • Spiritual beings, not merely physical • Our True (& most important) image is spiritual – we are intended by God to reflect His character in our lives; i.e., we are to be true, truthful, good, perfect, beautiful, and fulfilling of His good purposes. • God formed our physical being in our uniqueness according to His good purposes in our mother’s womb. • The image of God has been corrupted in us by sin, but God sent His Son, Jesus to redeem us from sin. • Our culture is not redeemed from sin, so many cultural influences are not true. Culture emphasizes conformity. God emphasizes individuality and love for each other. • Seeing ourselves as God sees us gives us a good self-image. God loves us as individuals. Theology & Self-Image

  19. Good & Bad Self-Image Supports • Laughter is good when founded in spiritual joy • Sports may be good because: • Sports help to develop a healthy body • Give you activities in which you can succeed & excel • Winning at any cost is bad • Excelling in a sport (or any other activity) can cause you to loose your image in the activity • Applause for truthful meritorious achievement is good • Seeking the approval of men can be spiritually dangerous. • The approval of men is temporary & may reflect sinful purposes • Seeking the approval of men will corrupt your character. (See John 12:42-43) • Seek first the approval of God; God will give you approval in the eyes of men. (See Proverbs 3:3-4.) Theology & Self-Image

  20. Activity 2.1 – How Would You Feel? • Objective: to explore how media imagery can make us feel. • Instructions: In pairs, look at pictures you have brought in to illustrate people who show “real beauty.” Imagine that you really do look like one of these people. How does that make you feel? Circle 3 words describing how would feel and underline 3 words that you would not feel. • Able BeautifulCaring Funny Happy LovedNatural ProudSerious SmartStrong SuccessfulUnusual Witty Theology & Self-Image

  21. Angelina Jolie – Perfection? • The Oscar-winning actress would to seem to have it all, what with a successful career and Brad Pitt by her side. (Engaged 8-2012) • But she has said, “I struggle with low self-esteem all the time. I think everybody does. I have so much wrong with me, its unbelievable. (March 2008) • Why might she feel this way? Theology & Self-Image

  22. Media Impacts • There are 3 billion women in the world who do not look like supermodels. • There are 8 who do. • What kinds of companies benefit from making us feel our bodies are imperfect? • Gyms • Diet industry (US spends $40 Billion on dietary products) • Tobacco industry (up to 70% of women smokers do so in order to lose weight; more than 25% will die of a smoking-related disease) • Plastic surgeons • Cosmetics (make-up), skincare, hair-care, perfume, etc. companies • Drug dealers – 70% of women addicts started because of poor body image. Theology & Self-Image

  23. Plastic Surgery – Who Gains? • Some people hope surgery will fix something that does not feel right inside. • Unfortunately, most continue feel unhappy after surgery; many feel less happy. • The plastic surgery industry is booming around the world • In 2007, the USA spent over $13 Billion on 11.7 million cosmetic surgeries and procedures like Botox. Over 91% are performed on women. (Source: American Society for Aesthetic and Plastic Surgery) • It is easy to feel tempted to get plastic surgery. What kinds of problems can it really solve? Theology & Self-Image

  24. Exploring Media Imagery • Objective: to explore why images may be manipulated by the media. • Spot the differences – Kate Winslet, star of the movie “Titanic” • Which images (1-6) are real & which are manipulated? 6 5 1 2 3 4 Theology & Self-Image

  25. Fabricating Beauty Film • Objective: to understand the reality behind media imagery • Instruction: Watch the film. What do you find most surprising? Theology & Self-Image

  26. Even Models Don’t Look Like Models • Cindy Crawford, one of the world’s top models commented, “Even I don’t wake up looking like Cindy Crawford.” • “The media greatly distorts who I am” Oct 2009 Theology & Self-Image

  27. Activity 2.4 – Playing With Beauty • Objective: to explore how toys may shape our thoughts on body shape • Consider Barbie, Ken, & GI Joe – dolls from Mattel. • Barbie’s waist is the same diameter as her head • Her neck is twice as long as normal for a human • Her legs are 50% longer than her arms; for a normal human, they are 20% longer • Ken’s body is 7 times more muscular than average males. Only professional body builders are as muscular; GI Joe has larger biceps than any body builder in history. • Are these just fun inspiring dolls or are they distorting children’s view of the body? Why do you think Ken, GI Joe, & Barbie are made this way? Theology & Self-Image

  28. Building a True Self-Image • See yourself as God sees you – it’s the only true you • You are His uniquely blessed creation • God is truth – His view of you is truthful • You deserve to be loved & respected as God does • God has a unique special purpose for your life that is part of fulfilling His divine plan. • Identify & cherish your God-given traits • Your unique personality, talents, gifts, passions, etc. • The things that give you joy & Godly pleasures • How you like to love & receive love • How you like to give & receive forgiveness • The things that make you righteously angry • The deeds of generosity or compassion you enjoy doing • The behavioral traits that others enjoy in you Theology & Self-Image

  29. Building a True Self-Image (2) • Identify messages you get from others that are inconsistent with your God-given traits • Write reminders of the truthful things in your life • Deny the lies from the culture & from others • Cite Bible passages wherever you can to remind you of God’s viewpoint • Remember: your character is what is most beautiful in you. Build Godly character attributes • Good behavior • Good deeds • Truthful speech cloaked in love, respect, & grace Theology & Self-Image

  30. Activity 3.1 – The Power of Words • Objective: to appreciate how spoken words can negatively or positively affect our self-esteem • How do these statements make you feel? • Your mother says, “You’re not going out like that!” • Your dad says, “Act your age.” • Your brother says about your new friend, “Everyone says he is a loser.” • A teacher says, “I expect more from someone your age” • Your friend says, “I enjoy spending time with you, but I could never live with you.” • Someone teases you by saying, “You’re fat” or “You’re skinny” • What was the person trying to say? • How could they have been rephrased more respectfully? Theology & Self-Image

  31. Impact Relationships • You are right to expect that those who are close to you in relationships should accept you as you are. • People who love you want you to be healthy • But some who love you want you to be “better” – meaning more conformed to cultural expectations • Not everybody who loves you expresses themselves with grace & respect – be careful not to misinterpret what people are saying or to read too much meaning into what they say • Not everybody who is in close relationship with you loves you • They may be too busy loving themselves • They may be too spiritually injured to express love • They may not have the capacity to love. • It hurts when our expectations are not met • If none of us had sin natures, there wouldn’t be a problem – but all of us do. • The only relationship we have that will be true, loving, accepting, & graceful is the one you can have with God in Jesus Christ. • Listen carefully to the Word of God Theology & Self-Image

  32. Activity 3.2 – Unfinished Sentences • Objective: to practice building the self-esteem of others • Instructions: • Pair off. (you don’t need to know the other person) • Complete these unfinished sentences for your partner. (You may cite their character, appearance, behavior, interests, etc. as long as you are truthful & respectful) • One of the things I like about you is… • A really individual thing about you is… • When directed, swap sheets & read what your partner has written. Look them in the eyes & thank them. Theology & Self-Image

  33. Activity 3.3 – From Today I Promise • Objective: to commit to action to build our body confidence • “I, <name>, promise this day, <date> to make a difference in my life and in the lives of others by: <cite an action you want to do which will improve your self-image and that of others>. I will ask <name of a trusted friend> to help me do this.” Theology & Self-Image

  34. Some Useful Prayers • Lord, thank You for life and the special purpose You have for me in Your world. Please help me to see myself in truth. Help me to change what You want me to change. Help me to appreciate how You have made me. Please help me to praise You and honor You in my behavior toward others. • Lord God, thank You for loving even me. • Lord, I can’t. You can. You take control. Thank you Lord. Theology & Self-Image

  35. (Optional Activity) Prayer for Your Partner • During this workshop, you have worked in small groups and with partners. Pick one of the people you have worked with as a prayer partner. • Take turns praying for each other. • To be able to remember and apply what we have learned • To see ourselves as God sees us. • To help others develop a good self-image. • To heal from the false beliefs we have had about ourselves. Theology & Self-Image

  36. Summary • Building body confidence can increase our happiness. • Beauty is more diverse than the front covers of magazines. • Have fun with the way you look but don’t let it rule your life. • Think how others hear what you say. • Practicing being confident will help you reach your goals. • Seeing yourself as God sees you is best • Building your relationship with God will help you with all of the other issues in this summary. Theology & Self-Image

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