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THE HUMAN DOORMAT

THE HUMAN DOORMAT. When Forgiveness and Self-Preservation Collide. Importance of Forgiveness. The Bible is abundantly clear about our strict obligation to forgive others. Jesus warns us that the unforgiveness we level at others will be leveled at us. (Matthew 6)

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THE HUMAN DOORMAT

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  1. THE HUMAN DOORMAT When Forgiveness andSelf-Preservation Collide

  2. Importance of Forgiveness • The Bible is abundantly clear about our strict obligation to forgive others. • Jesus warns us that the unforgiveness we level at others will be leveled at us. (Matthew 6) • Jesus instructs us to forgive others abundantly – seventy (times) seven. (Matthew 18)

  3. Importance of Forgiveness • Interesting Parallel: Is the seventy-seven number entirely random? • Read Genesis 4:13-15, 23-24 • Lamech prescribes the formula for human retribution. • Jesus commands us to reflect His limitless forgiveness upon those who “sin against us.”

  4. The Importance of Healing What is the opposite of healing, and which consequences can it bring? A lack of healing can also be accompanied by a lack of confidence, and more importantly, trust in God. Affliction has a time and purpose with God, but Jesus clearly showed His emphasis on healing here on Earth.

  5. Take these two ingredients… Not so fast. BUT, let’s look at a world view first.

  6. Modern Advice to Victims Self-Discovery Self-Expression Self-Protection

  7. Self-Discovery The victim is encouraged to get in touch with his or her repressed emotions. This often involves deeper exploration of a hurt, possible prior hurts, and their ramifications.

  8. Self-Expression Once these emotions are identified, the victim is encouraged to express and release these emotions. This is the healing or cleansing stage of the exercise, intended to lead to a form of freedom from the hurt.

  9. Self-Protection The victim is encouraged to identify and establish meaningful boundaries in his/her life. These boundaries are meant to minimize or eliminate the chance of experiencing serious hurt again.

  10. The Christian Perspective Don’t panic if you resonated with the previous three slides. There are nuggets of truth and wisdom there. The Biblical path simply begins with a different base and leads to a different goal.

  11. The Biblical Base for Healing “Do I believe that God is good, even though He allowed me to be hurt in this way?” This immediately shifts power to the “victim,” because God’s sovereignty and constructive purpose to affliction arise.

  12. The Biblical Destination “I am called to love those around me, even my enemies. Am I willing to give myself to that purpose? Am I more interested in God’s role for me in their lives than my own sense of self-preservation?”

  13. Not the Easier Path! Review the Beatitudes (Matthew 5) John 12:25-26

  14. So, Are We Doormats? • Jesus did two remarkable things to answer this question: • He warned us. Through free choice, we have the option to follow His teachings or not. • He encouraged us to follow His example, with promises of adversity every step of the way.

  15. Um…So just take whatever comes? A common misconception is that getting past a wrong involves minimizing or dismissing it as “not all that bad.” This is called “excusing,” not “forgiving” or “healing.”

  16. C.S. Lewis: “Real forgiveness means looking steadily at the sin, the sin that is left over without any excuse after all allowances have been made, and seeing it in all its horror, dirt, meanness and malice, and nevertheless being wholly reconciled to the man who has done it. That, and only that is forgiveness.”

  17. Conclusion …that also sounds like a sound definition of “power.” …the kind of power that could only come from God. God will square things up. (Romans 12)

  18. Conclusion Forgiveness is not an emotional feeling, but a sheer act of will. The effort and expense you put into forgiveness must outmatch the hurt and pain involved. Only God can help us do that!

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