Change is Painful: Forgive the Church Be Reconciled with One Another

Change is Painful:Forgive the Church Be Reconciled with One Another Adapted from an article by Eamon Tobin which appeared in “Church” magazine - Fall, 2007

Jesus’ Call • Forgive life’s hurts not just once by seventy times seven times. Matthew 18:21-23 70 X 7

Forgive who? • Ourselves • God • Others • The Church

Some Catholics feel that they have been betrayed by the Church and have lost that which they treasured. This may make it hard to relate to a God who loves them unconditionally.

Who do you say I am? • It may be important to reflect on my image of God. • Is my image of God one of a far off ruler who keeps a record of my sins? • Is my image one of a loving parent who forgives and forgets as I renew my part of the covenant? • My image can change as I consider my own experiences of God who is love.

Change in our Current Parishes • Reconfiguration of parishes within a diocese are a major change that is a sign of the present Church reality. What are some of these changes? • Demographics - churches are no longer where the people are • Decreasing number of priests • Desire for vibrant parish life in which the mission of the Church can flourish.

Change can be painful. The loss of the familiar place where our family worshiped for generations is something we never expected. How to come to peace with this? Not an easy transformation – we move through the stages of grief. Consider the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus as the best Way.

This is a Time of Grace • On the cross, Jesus forgave. • We stand with Jesus in silent prayer, then ask for the grace to follow as his true disciple. • We invite Jesus to be with us as we explore our feelings. We ask for the grace we need. • As Jesus did, we embrace the pain in order to move through it, toward expecting light at the end of the darkness.

Forgiveness does not mean… • That we surrender our rights • That we excuse, minimize, or condone hurt or injustice • That there is no pain

Forgiveness is a process… • In which we seek to eliminate from mind and heart all resentment and hate that we may carry within us due to a hurt inflicted upon us by another person or institution.

Forgiveness is… • The gift we give ourselves so that we do not get stuck in our pain and live as victims of hurt. • It is the powerful assertion that bad things will not ruin our today or our future.

Why forgives life’s hurts? There are 3 reason why we, as disciples of Christ, should seek, with the grace of God, to forgive life’s hurts.

#1 God’s word tells us to do so Sirach 27: 30, to 28:4 “Should one nourish anger against another yet expect healing from the Lord?” Mark 11:25 “When you stand to pray, forgive anyone against who you have a grievance, so your heavenly Father may in turn forgive you…” Luke 23:34 Jesus said, “Father, forgive them.”

#2 Forgiveness is good medicine for us physically, emotionally and spiritually. • When we choose not to forgive we are choosing to allow our offenders to continue to hurt us – even though they may have moved on with their lives.

#3 When we forgive we make the world a more peaceful place When we choose not to deal with grudges we feel toward some hurt, are we not contributing to the hateful and unloving atmosphere in our world?

Six concrete steps to help us to forgive the Church: • Express the anger around the hurt • Pray for the desire to forgive • Keep in mind that the church does not deliberately inflict pain on its members, but is a people that struggle in imperfect human ways to live in the reign of God.

Steps… • Be in touch with one’s own need for mercy and forgiveness • Visit with a church representative who can empathize with the pain. • Pray : “…pray for those who persecute you…” Matthew 5:43-45

When we decide to pray… • God will usually create in us a new heart, a heart more like God’s own heart, a heart more open to forgiving what seems unforgivable.

For example… • Lord, you love ______ just as you love me with all my faults and weaknesses. • You know that I do not love ______ very much at this time, but you do love him (her). • Share with me your love for ______.

When wrong and injustice exist in our church or elsewhere, we have an obligation to speak up. Jesus died so that sins would be forgiven. Matthew 26:28

In a world where there is so much violence, hatred, and unforgiveness, we become a wonderful witness to the light when we do the difficult work of forgiving life’s hurts.

Reconciliation • As we embrace the task of reconciliation ourselves and with others, even with the Church we love, we start to resemble Jesus for whom reconciliation was his constant mission. Reflect on: Luke 15; John 12:32; Rom 5:10; 2Cr 5:18-21; Col 1:21-22

Mission of the Church today As Roman Catholics, we believe that being a disciple of Jesus means living out our commitment through active involvement in the faith community called the parish.

Discipleship calls us to work in the parish toward making the face of Christ visible in the world in which we live, especially through the work of reconciliation.

Then the reign of God becomes visible in our homes, our churches, our workplaces.

Rembrandt’s Prodigal Son

Change is Painful: Forgive the Church Be Reconciled with One Another