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Feedback for Double Entry Journals

Feedback for Double Entry Journals. What we did well . Almost everyone turned in SOMETHING. Good analysis attempts Identifying devices and beginning to talk about effects. Use specific words. Vague pronouns “She uses a simile...” “She thinks her name is...” “She uses these words ...”

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Feedback for Double Entry Journals

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  1. Feedback for Double Entry Journals

  2. What we did well  • Almost everyone turned in SOMETHING. • Good analysis attempts • Identifying devices and beginning to talk about effects.

  3. Use specific words • Vague pronouns • “She uses a simile...” • “She thinks her name is...” • “She uses these words...” • “things” “stuff” “a lot” “very”

  4. Personal connections • Make connections when natural. You don’t HAVE to connect personally every time. • Focus should be on analysis. Approx. 80/20 or 90/10.

  5. So… I taught you TOO well… • Don’t need author’s name and title in EVERY entry. Just include the title on the rubric and you’re good to go. • Refer to the author by their last name.

  6. Commentary specific to the quotation • Avoid vague statements that are not specific to the quotation. • “People make fun of her name and have trouble pronouncing her name” • Which quotation does this commentary go with? • “Before I responded the laughs that the other kids had been holding back suddenly exploded” (11). • “At school they say my name funny as if the syllables were made of tin and hurt the roof of your mouth” (9).

  7. Avoid summary • Summary just restates the quotation in your own words. • Revised: “The author uses the word ‘explode’ to indicate the force with which the laughs came from Imma’s classmates. The reader feels how embarrassed Imma is.”

  8. The speaker is not the author • The authoris the person who writes the story. • The speaker is the character who is speaking in the story. • The speaker’s voice may or may not be the same as the author’s. • For example, in “My Name” the author is Sandra Cisneros, but the speaker is Esperanza, an 11-year-old girl.

  9. T + I = E • Technique + Idea = Effect • Identify the specific literary technique (simile, metaphor, etc) • Explain the idea the author is trying to convey • Explain how it makes the reader feel. • “The author uses the word ‘explode’ to indicate the force with which the laughs came from Imma’s classmates. The reader feels how embarrasedImma is.”

  10. Cite quotations properly • “Before I responded the laughs that the other kids had been holding back suddenly exploded” (11).

  11. Example: • “There my name is not embossed on any pencil or vanity plate. It is etched on the minds of the people” (11). • Vague: She can’t find her name on a pencil but her name is important in Nigeria so she feels better. • Better: She uses the words “pencils” and “vanity plate” as something of a lower standard, saying “any” like it’s common and boring. She states that [her name] is etched into their minds to show how memorable her name is.

  12. To make Ms. Cook • No more paper ruffles!

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