Emotions

1. Emotions

2. Cooperation Relationship Empathy Sympathy Defense Mechanism Conflict Effective Communication “I”Message Active Listening Body Language Constructive Criticism Compromise Tolerance Emotions Depression Cluster Suicide Resilience Psychiatrist Psychologist Interpersonal Conflict Conflict Resolution Mediation Negotiation Prejudice Apathy Emotions Vocabulary

3. Types of Communication • Verbal – use of language and words to convey a message • Speaking skills • Listening skills • Nonverbal – communication without using words • Use of signs or symbols • Body language

4. The basic level of communication • Sender-one who sends the message • Channel- the format that the message is sent • Noise-distractors that are present “ie loud restaurant, static over radio, students talking in class during instruction” • Receiver- the one receiving the message • Feedback-acknowledgement of understanding the message

5. Levels of Communication-from lowest to highest • Phatic Communication • Factual Communication • Evaluative Communication • Gut-level Communication • Peak Communication

7. Phatic Communication: • Phatic Communication: Using conventional messages to establish rapport, to break the ice, and/or to end a conversation. You might hug, kiss, shake hands, bow, smile, make eye contact, and face one another. We exchange pleasantries by using cliches. Clichés are overused expressions that have lost their original (content) meanings and have taken on new relational meanings. We expect phatic communication at the beginning and end of every conversation, regardless of our feelings about a person. • Examples: Hello. How are you? • I’m fine. How are you? • Hi. Paper or plastic? • Thanks for coming. Have a nice day. • You’re welcome.

8. Factual Communication • Factual communication: Using events, making observations, offering knowledge to others in a manner which can be called chit chat or small talk. At business parties, we rely upon factual communication to network, to schmooze, and to work the room. Factual communication includes reporting what you’ve read in a textbook, what you’ve studied for a test, showing pictures of your children, and exchanging biographical information about yourself. Factual communication is relatively safe and most do this well. • Examples: I’m majoring in business administration. • I’m married with three children, two sons and one daughter. • Did you watch the basketball game last night? • What did we do in class last Friday?

9. Evaluative Communication • Evaluative communication: Offering opinions, ideas and judgments to others. This is risky business because the odds are that others will reciprocate with their own evaluations, which may be different from yours. When people consistently use evaluative communication, they must be prepared for eventual conflict. Many U.S. Americans enjoy sharing at this level and feel that disagreeing with others is useful and invigorating. Unfortunately, many of us don’t use evaluative communication with a high level of competence. It’s important to consider the value of critical and creative thinking, as well as the relational meanings of messages that are exchanged. When using evaluative communication, consider carefully the importance of descriptive, provisional, and responsible expressions. Strive to avoid cautionary language, sarcasm, and nonverbal put-downs (e.g., rolling your eyes in response to another’s comments). • Examples: Of all my children, my daughter is the better athlete. • I thought that movie was excellent, particularly with the surprising ending. • I’m not convinced that your argument is well supported. • I agree with you!

10. Gut-Level Communication • Gut-level communication involves sharing our emotions and feelings with another. We are sharing our very essence when we allow others to know our heart. This is risky business! Societies place constraints upon the specific emotions which can be conveyed (e.g., It’s good to express love; it’s bad to express hatred). We also have rules about when and how feelings can be expressed ("That was the wrong time and place for arguing with your spouse.") • Emotional intelligence involves interpersonal competencies including self-awareness, self control, flexibility and empathy. • Examples: I deeply appreciate your thoughtfulness and generosity in helping me earlier. • I’m so frustrated with you! • I’m wish that I hadn’t called you that name. I hope that you’ll forgive me. • He called me! I’m so excited to see him again!

11. Peak Communication • Peak communication: Coming together with another in an extraordinary way. Two individuals who are gut leveling experience a transformation when they are sharing the exact same emotion with the same level of intensity. This is also called, "communal-level communication." It’s as if, for the moment, two souls merge into one. Peak communication is rare, even among close friends and family members. • Examples: I love you. I love you too. • I’m so angry with you. I’m so angry with you as well. • I’m glad that we were able to fight long enough to get this resolved. Yes, I feel exactly the same way, glad that we communicated collaboratively. • I’m scared. I’m scared too

12. General Thoughts on Levels of Communication • The greater the need to communicate our feelings, the harder it is to do. Indeed, sharing our opinions and emotions is risky business. We minimize the risk when we move through the levels of communication incrementally. That is, each conversation ought to begin with phatic communication and move through the levels (however quickly seems appropriate) before moving to the more intimate levels. • Generally, we look for the other individual to reciprocate at the same level of intensity. There is a social convention to match levels. If the other initiates a conversation at the evaluative level, we often feel compelled to respond in kind. This is dangerous. • Sharing our ideas and feelings is generally reserved for those whom we trust. Trust is a function of confidence, commitment, and time. We generally share our essence with those we’ve known a long time. To do with others is pseudo-intimacy

14. Worksheet on different levels of communication where the students will depict its level

15. Barriers to Good Communication • Interrupting- • Challenging/Contradicting • Dominating • Judging • Advising • Interpreting • Probing • Criticizing/Put-downs

16. Barriers to Good Communication • Interrupting- when the person who is listening disrupts the person talking by not letting them finish their complete thought.

17. Barriers to Good Communication • Challenging/Contradicting- when the receiver challenges everything the sender says. • Challenging • Sender “That was a good movie” • Receiver “That movie was garbage” • Sender “Well we had a good meal” • Receiver “I’ve had better” • Contradicting • Sender “that car is grey” • Receiver “No that car is lavender”

18. Barriers to Good Communication • Dominating- when a person takes over a conversation and won’t let the other person put any input into the subject matter. • Ball hog Allen Iverson won’t let teammates shoot the ball, thus his teammates lose interest. Just as in a conversation the receiver who is not given a chance to provide any feedback loses interest.

19. Barriers to Good Communication • Judging/Criticizing- when the sender is judging others (negatively). The receiver is put off by the negative comments and does not want to partake in a conversation.

20. Barriers to Good Communication • Advising- when the sender is counseling the receiver in areas of his or her life. When advising is done correctly can be a positive for good communication. When overused or done incorrectly it can lead to being a barrier to good communication.

21. Barriers to Good Communication • Interpreting-when people hear and see something the same and interpret it with two different meanings • “they fed her dog meat” • “I’m having a friend for lunch” • “I saw her duck”

22. Worksheet were the students depict what barrier was used or have students create them

23. Positive Comments I like your hair You look nice today That was a great game yesterday Negative Comments Who dressed you today You loser What did you do to your hair Self-Esteem and Communication

24. Ways you can express your needs • Assertive • Aggressive • Passive

25. Ways you can express your needs • Assertive- someone who is assertive gets his or her message out while respecting another persons view and their rights

26. Ways you can express your needs • Aggressive- an aggressive person gets their message out without any regard to other peoples rights or feelings. Usually by yelling

27. Ways you can express your needs • Passive- a passive person expressing their needs or message will be often shy, quiet, and not speak up when confronted with an issue or when their rights have been violated.

28. I Messages- an I-message or I-statement is an assertion about the feelings, beliefs, values etc. of the person speaking, generally expressed as a sentence beginning with the word "I", and is contrasted with a "you-message",. Situation- your friend is having a party and did not invite you. I message –I was a little upset over the fact I was not invited Wrong way—you did not invite me, why The receiver will feel less threatened and will open up a little more to the senders feelings and not be so defensive in their response How You Communicate

29. I message worksheet

30. 6 Basic Emotions • Love-Strong affection, deep concern, and respect. Love can be applied to various people and things each with different interpretations. • Family • Friends • Romantic • Agape – selfless love of one person for another without sexual implications (especially love that is spiritual in nature)

31. Fear • Feeling or believing you are in danger • Anxiety – fear of the future or unknown • Phobia – unreasonable fear of an object or situation • Jealousy – fear of losing something you already have • Envy – fear that you cannot get what someone else has

32. Guilt • Feeling of having done something wrong even if you did not • Acting against ones values • Failing to act when action might have brought about a better outcome

33. Grief • Deep sorrow caused by the loss of someone or something you cannot get back • Empathy- feeling sad for someone • Sympathy- understanding the sadness someone is going through • Despair – feeling of complete hopelessness or loss of confidence

34. Grief • Stages of grief: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance • Remember, grieving is a personal process that has no time limit, nor one “right” way to do it.

35. Denial-The first reaction to learning of terminal illness or death of a cherished loved one is to deny the reality of the situation. It is a defense mechanism that buffers the immediate shock.

36. Anger- is the second stage of denial. In this stage the pain is still fresh and it manifest itself into anger. This anger is then displaced on someone or something. • Examples- some dies from getting hit by a bus by walking out into the street. We would then blame or be mad at the bus driver, the person walking for not looking both ways, or the doctor for not saving the individual.

37. Bargaining- The normal reaction to feelings of helplessness and vulnerability is often a need to regain control– • If only we had sought medical attention sooner… • If only we got a second opinion from another doctor… • If only we had tried to be a better person toward them…

38. Depression- deepened level of sadness. Sadness and regret predominate this type of depression.

39. Acceptance- In the final stage individuals understand the emotions that they are feeling. They still feel sadness of the events that took place and are able to accept what happened

40. Happiness • Being satisfied or feeling positive • Energetic, creative, sociable • Joy – warmth and a sense of well-being

41. Anger • Strong feeling of displeasure ranging from annoyance to complete fury • Frustration – feeling of disappointment • Hostility – feeling or behaving in an unfriendly manner • Free-floating – not aimed at anyone or anything

42. Mini - Project Emotions

43. Quiz

44. Exit Slip • Many people believe in the idea of a “random act of kindness”. Have you ever thought about doing this or have you ever done something nice for no reason? What could you do or what have you done? Why? Explain your thinking. (Write 4-5 sentences in paragraph form)

45. Violence • Violence - the threatened or actual use of physical force or power to harm another person or to damage property. • Bullying – the act of seeking power or attention through the psychological, emotional, verbal, or physical abuse of another person. • Sexual Harassment – uninvited and unwelcome sexual conduct directed at another person.

46. Risk Factors for Violence • Availability of weapons • Media influence • Alcohol and other drugs • Mental/Emotional issues • Poverty

47. Causes of Violence • Need to control others • Way of expressing anger • Prejudice (Hate Crimes) • Retaliation

48. Types of Violence • Assault – unlawful attack on a person with the intent to harm or kill • Stalking – repeated following, harassment, or threatening of an individual to frighten or cause harm. • Random violence – committed for no particular reason • Homicide – willful killing of one human being by another • Sexual violence – any form of unwelcome sexual conduct directed at an individual, including sexual harassment, sexual assault, and rape

49. Avoiding Violence • Avoid unsafe areas, including places with high crime rates • Don’t carry your wallet or purse in an open, easy-to-grab place • Walk briskly and confidently, always look as though you know where you are going and what you are doing • Avoid walking alone at night, in wooded areas, or in dark alleys

50. Let your family know where you are going and when you will return • Don’t get into an elevator with a stranger • Do not hitchhike or give rides to strangers • Avoid the use of alcohol and other drugs • If you drive: • Park in a well-lit area • Have your keys out and ready • Before getting in, look in back seat • Wait for someone you dropped off to enter the building before you leave them