10/21

1. 10/21 Review 1.1 Textbook Example Workshop Rhetorical Analysis 1.1

2. Important Things to Remember • Organize your paragraphs well: use SEXY. • For the introduction, start with some context (when/where published and maybe some context about the author). • If you don’t have audience and purpose by now, you NEED to make an appointment at the writing center or come see me in office hours. • Remember sign posting. While you don’t need to keep repeating who the audience and what the purpose is, you also can’t just say each once then refer to them as “the audience” or “the purpose.” • You need to be working with no less than two and no more than three rhetorical choices. • The choices in your thesis MUST match the choices you talk about throughout your paragraph.

3. Important Questions • Pick rhetorical choices that actually matter. Ones that influence the text in some way. To do this: • Why is this persuasive? • Why is this persuasive for the target audience? • What is it about the target audience that makes this a good choice? • Answering these questions will help you go into the full extent of detail the graders want.

4. Other Important Things • While we don’t count off for grammar, punctuation, etc. unless it makes the draft hard to read, comma splices, run-on sentences, and sentence fragments are major errors that should be noted. • Make sure to cite correctly! Perhaps even review parenthetical citation and the proper format for the works cited. • Remember the difference between a first draft and a rough draft. What you turn in should be a first, NOT rough, draft. • Have realistic grade expectations. We are graded based on the thought that you will be revising, and giving you room to do so. Unless you make an A on this first draft, you will need to do some major revising.

5. 1.1 Example: Introduction Frequently, novices who are looking for in-depth answers to their questions go to experts for solutions, only to find that their own limited familiarity is standing between themselves and their learning. Jared Diamond realizes that the novice is not turned away because of their question, but because of a lack of knowledge on the subject in question. Diamond, an ethnobiologist, came across this problem while working with tribesmen in New Guinea to study the names of native birds, where this seemingly trivial task of eliciting local bird names from tribesmen was fraught with unforeseen problems. Diamond is not the only scientist to have come across the issue of acquiring knowledge from tribesmen; others have struggled as well to find the correct method to approach these experts. Diamond addresses the problem in his essay “The Ethnobiologist’sDilemma,” in a 1989 issue of Natural History, where he brings his realization to an audience of scientists and science enthusiasts. In this article, Diamond presents an entirely new perspective on how to correctly approach an expert with a question. Diamond uses an anecdote that begins and ends the text, a tone that shifts between self deprecating humor and knowledgeable confidence, and unconventional word choice when identifying natives as experts to subtly suggest that in order to effectively gain knowledge from an expert, one must first learn enough about the subject to communicate effectively. Diamond successfully persuades scientists and those interested in science to learn as much as possible about a topic before bringing their questions to a professional.

6. Introduction • Begins with context of the essay. • Introduces the author and the essay. • Correctly identified purpose. • Great thesis with the three rhetorical choices they discuss. • Only thing: audience could be a little better.

7. First body paragraph Diamond uses an anecdote that bookends his article to both cite the problem he is addressing as well as to compare the tribesmen to the types of experts the reader will more likely encounter. The first anecdote the author uses is an account of an interaction he had with a car mechanic, upon which the mechanic told Diamond, “… forget it, you don’t need to understand it. All you have to know is I fixed it and you owe me $203.67 and you can drive again” (196). His audience of scientists and educated laypeople can relate to this anecdote because they are likely to have come across a situation similar to Diamond’s in which they are the novice. Using this anecdote at the beginning of the article helps Diamond grab the readers’ attention by reminding them how frustrating this type of interaction is. This is not the only time an anecdote aids the article. At the end of the article, Diamond comes back to this opening story, saying, “The bad service that I continue to get is my own fault for not practicing what I preach to ethnobiologists: I never took the trouble to study a VW manual” (201). The use of this anecdote again helps the audience connect Diamond’s experiences in New Guinea to experiences in their own lives; it is also an example of an occurrence that is known to Diamond’s whole audience, both scientists and educated laypeople. This rhetorical device helps the audience realize the argument Diamond is suggesting is relevant to their lives, leading them to continue reading and listen to what Diamond has to say.

8. First body paragraph • Good topic sentence. • Good integrated quotations. • Note how he redefines audience, this time a little better than what is in the introduction. • Parenthetical citation needs to include author’s last name. • Good transition to the next body paragraph.

9. Second body paragraph The anecdote aids the article in another way by creating a humorous, self-deprecating tone, which is a wise strategy because it allows both portions of his audience to feel more comfortable listening to his advice on dealing with experts. As a well-known author, scientist, and expert, Diamond could have easily opened with an anecdote that placed him as the expert, but by using the example with the mechanic, Diamond’s tone is less didactic and more humorous and accessible, which works in the essay’s favor. The example involving the mechanic is used by Diamond to create the desired tone, such as when Diamond says, “My car mechanic must have seen my eyes glaze over, just as I had seen my physiology students’ eyes glaze over when I tried to explain osmotic diuresis to them in my lecture that same morning last month…At least I feel OK in my own areas of scientific expertise” (196). The quote creates a humorous self-deprecating tone because the author humbles himself by describing his struggles sharing his own expertise. This tone is necessary because in general, people are not receptive to being told what to do, requiring gentle counsel into new ideas. This is especially the case for Diamond’s audience of scientists who are accomplished experts. Diamond’s self-deprecating tone gives the scientists in the audience a feeling that they are not being told to change their ways, but rather, that they are in control of whether they follow the article’s advice or not. In turn, this increases the likelihood that the scientists will listen to what Diamond is saying. Diamond’s tone does far more than appeal exclusively to scientists; it also appeals to educated laypeople. These educated laypeople would feel intimidated by an academic writer’s advanced knowledge, possibly causing them to stop reading. By giving this example at the beginning of the article, the author humbles himself before his audience, producing the desired effect of a sense of learning between the audience and author. However, the tone through the rest of the body of the essay is not self-deprecating.

10. Second body paragraph • Immediately connects the choice to the audience and explains why it was a good choice. • Goes into good detail explaining why a self-deprecating tone is a good choice, and why it was a good choice to put it at the beginning. • Another good transition into scholarly and academic tone.

11. Third body paragraph Following the first anecdote, Diamond quickly shifts to a scholarly and more academic tone. After the author makes the audience feel comfortable, he then needs to appear confident to truly gain the trust of his audience. To establish credibility Diamond switches to a more scholarly tone which he carries through the body of the essay. Diamond presents himself as an expert in his field capable of altering established methodology with regards to acquiring knowledge from experts. For example, Diamond says, “In my experience, names elicited by specimens agree better with names elicited by live birds than do names elicited by pictures” (198). After the author has made the audience feel comfortable with the humorous tone, he can move on to strengthening his argument with a scholarly tone that highlights his experience and knowledge. These tones work together to help Diamond achieve a larger desired effect of appealing to the audience in a credible manner. This helps the audience recognize that Diamond has experience on both sides of the ethnobiologist’s dilemma, both as an expert and a novice. Diamond’s shifts in tone lead the audience to trust his knowledge on the issue.

12. Third body paragraph • Not only explains the two types of tone, humorous/self-deprecating and scholarly/academic, but explains how they work together. • Not really a good transition here.

13. Fourth body paragraph Diamond uses unconventional word choice when describing the tribesmen he encountered in New Guinea to both strengthen his article’s purpose and convey his message to his audience. Diamond’s word choice shows his respect for people of different areas of skill. For example, Diamond refers to the New Guinean tribesmen as “experts” (198), even going as far to describe them as “…walking encyclopedias of facts about locally occurring species” (196). This is an interesting perspective of the tribesmen that often goes unrealized by modern societies. Tribal peoples are often seen as unskilled due to the lack of their modern knowledge. Diamond does not see them in this way, which is proven when he says “Their knowledge of the behavior and life history of many species far exceeds what Western scientists know. The same is true of some other ‘primitive’ peoples…” (196). The use of the word “primitive” in quotes highlights Diamond’s view that the tribesmen are very advanced. He is showing just how incorrect it is to think there is nothing to learn from these individuals. Further, Diamond’s language points out how often people of a particular expertise are not given proper credit for their immense amount of knowledge due to the subject matter of that knowledge. Diamond wants his audience to realize this critical error in thinking. This use of quotations addresses a common assumption that says there is no need to come to this situation with knowledge in order to converse. This word choice appeals to all of Diamond’s readers, demonstrating to them that he is of good character, and he does not judge a book by its cover. Diamond’s goal is to influence his audience to respect those that often are not attributed to possess great knowledge, in addition to those who normally are seen as possessing great knowledge, to promote a better method of receiving knowledge from an expert.

14. Fourth body paragraph • Again, tied well to audience and purpose. • Great analysis.

15. Conclusion There is a common problem prevalent in daily life; it arises when a novice who is uneducated on a subject goes to an expert for advice only for the novice to be turned away. Diamond called this issue the ethnobiologist’s dilemma after running into the same problem in New Guinea. The effect of the article, “The Ethnobiologist’sDilemma,” is to persuade its audience to bring their questions to experts only after having learned extensively about the topic in question. It is important to realize that all experts require respect no matter their field of expertise. Diamond successfully reaches his intended audience, scientists and educated laypeople, with a message that is relevant to their lives. Diamond achieves this through a combined use of a tone that shifts between self-deprecating humor and knowledgeable confidence, unconventional word choice, and the use of anecdotes at the beginning and end of his article. By following Diamond’s advice, the novice will find it easier to obtain knowledge from experts, instead of struggling to learn from experts.

16. Conclusion • Begins by restating the purpose in the same way they started the introduction: context. • Directly restates the purpose: “persuade.” • States the Diamond is successful by restating the rhetorical choices.

17. Workshop: Introduction • How does the paragraph begin? A hook? Context? Starting directly with purpose or audience? Is this effective? Why? • Do you see the thesis? Does it include the correct number of rhetorical choices? • Do you see author, essay title, audience, and purpose within the paragraph? • Make sure to note at least one thing done well and one thing that could use improvement. • As always, BE SPECIFIC.

18. Workshop: Body Paragraph • Is there a topic sentence? Does it cover what the paragraph is about? Is there any extra in the paragraph the topic sentence doesn’t cover? • Is the rhetorical choice well identified? Is the importance explained well? • Do the sentences flow well? Are there any glaring grammatical or spelling errors? • Make sure to note at least one thing done well and one thing they could improve upon. • Again, BE SPECIFIC.

19. Draft 1.1 • Due Friday by midnight on RaiderWriter. • Description: To complete this assignment, you will begin by selecting a text to analyze (you should have already done this). After selecting your text and critically reading it, you will determine the writer’s purpose and intended audience for the text. Once you have determined these elements, you will begin to analyze the text so as to determine the specific strategies (rhetorical choices) the writer uses to achieve his/her purpose and to meet the needs of the audience. After you determine what these strategies or rhetorical choices are, consider how these strategies (rhetorical choices) actually work. • Although this is an initial draft, it should be edited carefully and be in a professional tone. • Works cited should be in proper MLA format. • Your draft should be1200 words long.

20. What We’ll be Looking For • Your understanding of what a rhetorical analysis is. • Your understanding of the context in which the essay was written, along with understanding of the audience and purpose. • Your choice of quotations, the number of quotations, and the balance between quote and explanation. • Specificity, accuracy, and overall understanding displayed in the thesis. Also, that everything matches the thesis, and vice versa. • Your conclusion about the overall effectiveness of the choices the author used and of the resulting text overall. • Organization, particularly on the paragraph level.

21. For next class: • Review “Strategies for Peer Response and Revision” pg. 121 and 123 from the textbook • Review Ch. 4 from the St. Martin’s Handbook • Audio Lesson: Using Instructor Commentary to Revise