“A Really Bad Haircut”

1. “A Really Bad Haircut” I failed to tell the new worker at “Haircroppers” how I wanted my hair cut. He swung my chair away from the mirror. The noises that fallowed sounded like chainswas, hedge trimmers, and helocopters. Then he swung my chair back to face the mirror… From the time he swung my chair around, I knew that would be my last visit to the “Haircroppers”. My hair, or what was left of it was tinted a brown olive green color. I flet my hair. A slimey sticky residue came off on my hand. I gave a quick smurk and vigorously rubbed the slime onto my pants. Unbelievably enough, the quick smile I had given the nin-cum-poop barber was taken to be genuine and he quickly responded, “Glad you like it sir That’s my best one yet!” Disgusted, I turned back to my hair. Maybe a wig was the way to go. I felt some of the olive green goop dribbel down my neck. I felt my hair again and was immediately stopped by a blur of barbers hands. With rage in his voice he yelled, “What are you trying to do, ruin my masterpiece?!” “Your masterpiece??!! More like your mess. What is this junk anyway? Some kind of axel greese?” His voice was wavery, but refused to crack. “Its my own creation…face mud, hair spray, avacado dip…” I let him get as far as turtle wax when I roared “Hold it!!” My face was beginning to twist, my scalp to burn. “Hose this junk off, you incompitent moron. If my head doesn’t just role to the floor, I’ll have your hide!” I oculdn’t wait a moment longer. I grabed the hose and turned it on myself. Whew. The solution came out into a brown puddle on the floor, along with great chunks of my hair. Fortunately, I didn’t have to pay for what I call today my hair’s “mass suicide.”

2. A Really Bad HaircutNarrative Grade 7 • Lessons learned • Faulty conventions can distract the reader • Good dialogue adds voice • Conventions: 2,3 • Ideas:5,6 • Organization 5,6 • Voice 5,6 • Word choice 5,6 • Sentence fluency 5,6

3. The Ritual of Rocks and Sticks While visiting America I had the opportunity to attend a ritual called the baseball game. In this ritual, an enormous crowd of people gather around, sitting on multi-leveled seats, watching a crowd of people perform. The performers of the ritual are dressed in striped clothes similar to a zebra. They have pieces of cowhide tied to one hand, and they beat the cowhide with their free hand and make loud grunting noises. Sometimes they spit, and everyone seems to enjoy this part. Their heads are covered in bright colored cloth which they touch quite often, sometimes running their hands along the front part of the cloth, which hangs over their eyes. When one does this, other performers nod and slap the cowhide hard. Clearly, this is a significant part of the ritual. The performer in the middle of the flat area is known as the pitcher. He stands on a small hill and throws a hard ball of string at another performer, who holds a long stick. The stick man, also known as a batter, tries to hit the ball of string. If he succeeds, he immediately drops his stick and runs in a huge circle, touching white squares as he passes. The people dressed in stripes run after the ball of string, and then go after the stick man, tossing the ball of string hard as they go. They rarely catch him, but if they do, he yanks the cloth form his head and whacks his leg with it, giving out a mighty yell. The crowd yells with him. This much I have figured out: Once the stick man hits the ball of string he does not want it back. He is very unhappy if the other performers return it to him. This hitting and running part of the ritual is performed many times until both the performers and the people in the multi-leveled seats grow tired. As they go, they make more grunting noises and hit one another on the back quite a lot. This means the ritual is over for that day. But they will hot it again. They always take their balls of string and their sticks with them to be ready for the next time.

4. The Ritual of Rocks and SticksGrade 6, Imaginative • Lesson Learned: • Understatement can be effective • Let the reader figure it out – but be sure you provide good clues • Conventions: 5,6 • Ideas 5,6 • Organization 5,6 • Voice 5,6 • Word choice 4,5 • Sentence fluency 4,5