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Why Is My Wife Always Mad With Me?

Angry wives often want something from their husbands totally unexpected by the men. Find out what she wants.

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Why Is My Wife Always Mad With Me?

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  1. Why Is My Wife Always Mad At Me? And What To Do About It "Why Is My Wife Always Mad At Me?" ©2018 Paul W. Anderson, Ph.D. 843-422-1408 www.marriagefamilycounselingblufftonsc.com

  2. So What? It Makes Us Guys Uncomfortable Because: • Men want approval from their loved one. • Men are geared to fix things: • Something is wrong if she’s mad • “Fix it” (calm her down) so I can get calm again • If I can’t fix it, I feel powerless. Not good. • Men, as a rule, are not trained to stay calm/neutral in the face of emotional intensity . • Men are more sensitive than most people know, even men themselves. "Why Is My Wife Always Mad At Me?" ©2018 Paul W. Anderson, Ph.D. 843-422-1408 www.marriagefamilycounselingblufftonsc.com

  3. People Don’t Keep Doing Something That Does Not Provide A Pay-off. • What Is The Payoff/Benefit That Comes As A Result Of My Wife Being Angry At Me? "Why Is My Wife Always Mad At Me?" ©2018 Paul W. Anderson, Ph.D. 843-422-1408 www.marriagefamilycounselingblufftonsc.com

  4. The Husband Gets Hooked. The Wife Gets His Attention. • Keep In Mind These Relationship Principles: • People who fight are not finished with each other. They are reacting to each other. You don’t react to someone you don’t care about. They take each other into account, pay attention. They are engaged and CONNECTED! • The degree or amount of reactivity is a measure of the extent of connection in a relationship. Either Positive or Negative reaction can result in connection. • One is certainly more destructive of the relationship, the other builds it up. • What get’s rewarded or reinforced gets repeated. If her anger gets him to pay attention and connect with her, what’s to stop her from doing it again? • Especially if that’s the only or major way he really gives her his attention. • In this sense, fixing the problem is self-defeating. She can always come up with more reasons to be angry than he can ever fix or solve! "Why Is My Wife Always Mad At Me?" ©2018 Paul W. Anderson, Ph.D. 843-422-1408 www.marriagefamilycounselingblufftonsc.com

  5. What I have Found To Be True Of Couple Emotional Dynamics • The Husband Who Asks: “Why Is My Wife Always Mad At Me?” Is In An Emotionally Malnourished Relationship. • Men want to be admired. • Women want to be wanted. • Both want to join with each other to solve problems, not make each other the problem. • Couples cannot work together on issues unless they stay connected, both emotionally and physically. • How To Build Bridges, Not Bunkers? "Why Is My Wife Always Mad At Me?" ©2018 Paul W. Anderson, Ph.D. 843-422-1408 www.marriagefamilycounselingblufftonsc.com

  6. What’s A Husband To Do? • Don’t point a finger at her and say, “But she….” Do your part. Maybe she’ll do hers. Do your job as husband no matter what she does or doesn’t do. • Don’t wait for the next anger storm, assuming all is well if she isn’t mad. • Pay regular, positive ATTENTION to your wife, like a farmer who cultivates his fields.Date, court, listen, ask questions about her, not the things she’s doing. • How did you show her you wanted her in the beginning? Repeat, repeat, repeat. • Courtship after marriage counts more than before. • Learn to use “Emotional Intelligence.” Talk, talk, talk. • Connect emotionally. • Be open and vulnerable about yourself. • Be kind and not “Mr. Fix-it” when she talks about herself. • Problem solve only when she asks for it. Don’t offer that yourself. • No mind reading! "Why Is My Wife Always Mad At Me?" ©2018 Paul W. Anderson, Ph.D. 843-422-1408 www.marriagefamilycounselingblufftonsc.com

  7. Paul W. Anderson, Ph.D.843-422-1408 • It’s Not About The Nail • (A video that portrays the double bind • men can experience with an upset woman.) "Why Is My Wife Always Mad At Me?" ©2018 Paul W. Anderson, Ph.D. 843-422-1408 www.marriagefamilycounselingblufftonsc.com

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