Family Conflict & Crises

Family Conflict & Crises Compiled by Elizabeth Bogumil Outlined by Professor Wonser

Lesson Outline • Socialization • Crisis • Conflict • Emotion Work • Roles, Status and Conflict • Family Violence • Domestic Violence • Verbal Abuse • Non-verbal Abuse • Elder & Child Abuse • Affects on Children • Applying Theory • Take Away Points • Student Evaluations

Socialization • Socialization: the process of learning and internalizing the values, beliefs and norms of our social group by which we become functioning members of society • Begins in infancy • Most productive once a child begins to understand the use of language • Families: are the single most significant agent of socialization in all societies and teaches us the basic values and norms that shape our identity • In the teen years, peers become the primary socializers

Conflict vs. Crisis • Conflict: friction, disagreement, or discord arising internally or within a group when the beliefs or actions of yourself, one or more members of the group or outside groups members find those beliefs or actions unacceptable • Crisis: any event that is, or expected to lead to, an unstable and dangerous situation affecting an individual or group with little to no warning

Crises: Types & Coping • Caused by: • Drastic changes in courses of events (good or bad) • Turning point that changes the future • Types: • External: floods, fires, war • Internal: divorce, alcoholism, death of family member, family violence • Coping mechanisms: • Spirituality • Family support • Sense of humor

Crisis: Process of Adjustment

Conflict

Conflict • Stressors: are “root” causes of conflict: • Normative Stressors: expected life events and processes that bring stress by virtue of their nature • Acute Stressors: typically unexpected, sudden, and demand tremendous resources to cope with them Examples of normative stressors? Examples of acute stressors

Conflict: Types • Intrapsychic / Personal Cause of Conflict • Originates within the individual • Centers on inner drives, instincts, and values pulling against each other • These conflicts come from family of origin issues and early childhood • Can be: • Unrealistic fears and anxieties • Neurotic needs • Emotional illness • Depression • Mood Swings • Solution: resolve personal issues first then address the relationship issues What are some examples of this type of conflict?

Conflict: Types • Intrasomatic / Physical Causes of Conflict • Originates from an individuals physical state • Can be: • Fatigue • Hunger • Overwork • Headaches • Low blood sugar • Medications • Cause of Conflict: • Irritability • Impatience • Disordered reasoning • Low tolerance for frustration • Solution: relax, better care for your physical health and recognize physical limits What are some examples of this type of conflict? Do you think there is a class component to this type of conflict?

Conflict: Types • Interpsychic / Interpersonal Causes of Conflict • Originates and based in intimate interactions • Can be: • Rebellion • Methods of care • Handing situations • Cause of conflict: • Misunderstanding • Emotional withdrawal • Miscommunication • Difficulty resolving differences • Solution: communicate, utilize the win-win conflict resolution model, come to common understandings What are some examples of this type of conflict?

Conflict: Types • Situational / Environmental Causes of Conflict • Originates from external situations which can trigger personal or interpersonal sources of conflict • Can be: • Living conditions in household • Societal or cultural strains • Unexpected events • Solution: Addressing the external pressure, changing the environment, working together to overcome unexpected events and communication What are some examples of this type of conflict?

Emotion Work: Hochschild • Emotion Work: the management of one’s own feelings in an effort to maintain the well being of a relationship. Also involves the orientation of self to others to fit with accepted norms of emotional expression. • Types • Evoking emotion • Suppressing emotion • Techniques • Cognitive • Bodily • Emotion • Feeling Rules: • “fake it till you make it” • Men need to be strong, brave and macho • Women need to be happy and perky • You know you have the correct or incorrect emotions by how others react to you Do you do emotion work? What are some feeling rules within the family you are familiar with?

Emotion Work: Hochschild What types of emotion work do these represent? If emotion work is not performed correctly can this lead to conflict? How?

Emotion Work • Role-taking Emotions: are emotions like sympathy, embarrassment, or shame, which require that we assume the perspective of another person and respond from that person’s point of view • Feeling Rules: are socially constructed norms regarding the expression and display of emotions and include expectations about the acceptable or desirable feelings in a given situation How can not utilizing this sort of emotion work correctly lead to possible conflict?

Roles, Status & Conflict • Status: is a position in society that comes with a set of expectations • Roles: are the behaviors expected from a particular status • Types of Conflict • Role Conflict: occurs when the roles associated with one status clash with the roles associated with a different status • Role Strain: occurs when roles associated with a single status clash • Role Exit: is the disengagement from a role that is central to ones identity, may occur because of role conflict or role strain How can these types of conflict relate to conflict within intimate relationships and family?

Roles, Status & Conflict Actor Status Roles

Family Violence • Who: • Affects every class, ethnicity, age and sexual orientation • Why: • To maintain control • What: • Violence may or may not lead to physical injury, can be emotionaland psychological too • How: • Society legitimizes some forms of violence • Spanking • Video games • Levels of acceptable violence are based off of societal norms Tattoos as Domestic Violence

Family Violence • Factors that contribute to violence in relationships • Cultural values • Gender roles • Family history of violence • Drug and alcohol abuse • Dependency • Jealously, possessiveness and suspicion • Need to control • Unhappiness and dissatisfaction • Anger and aggressiveness How do you suppose one, some or many of these factors contribute to family violence? Do you think conflict occurs first then violence?

Domestic Violence • Domestic Violence: the intentional use of physical or symbolic force by an individual aimed at hurting or injuring an individual intimately involved with • Also known as Intimate Partner Violence(IPV) • Is the most common form of family violence. It includes behaviors abusers use to gain and maintain power over their victims. Abuse can be: • Physical • Verbal • Financial • Sexual • Psychological • Mortification of Self: the most dramatic type of socialization which can occur in instructions such as the military, POW camps, and mental hospitals. • Degradation ceremonies are used to resocialize a person into their new role Consider how domestic violence or abuse can be a type of degradation ceremony to resocialize a family member into a certain role within the family?

Domestic Violence • Verbal abuse: are words that cause mental or psychological distress • Shaming • Threatening • Swearing • Belittling • Humiliation • Excessive jealousy or possessiveness

Domestic Violence • Non-verbal Abuse: is the use of symbolic force to overtake another • Slamming doors • Destroying objects / property of another • Destroying meaningful objects (ie: tearing up photos) • Silence • Sulking • Isolation (isolating the other from the outside world and others) • Economic deprivation (withholding money)

Domestic Violence

Domestic Violence • 33% of females and 4% of males were murdered by current or former intimate partner. Also, if a family member attacks or kills it usually done in a more violent and graphic manner (2002) • 5.9 out of every 1,000 and 2.1 out of every 1,000 men experience domestic violence • 60% of offenses occur between 6 p.m. and 6 a.m. in the victim’s home • In 2005, 1,181 women and 329 men were killed by their intimate partners • Domestic violence calls are the single largest category of calls to the police • Only a very small number of domestic violence incidents are reported to the police - National Institute of Justice Special Report (June 2009)

Domestic Violence Cycle of Violence in Abusive Relationships • Stage One: relationship seems normal • Stage Two: the victim feels like ‘walking on eggshells’ to avoid arguments • Stage Three: acute battering and violence occur, lasting for seconds, hours or even days. The abuser blames the victim. • Stage Four: the abuser will apologize profusely and promise that it will never happen again

Domestic Violence

Domestic violence • Why women stay: • Abuse starts gradually and builds • Childhood history of abuse* • Underestimated the degree of danger • Fear • Accept the blame and think if they do the right things they can stop it • Emotional dependency / low self esteem • Financial dependency • Guilt • Believes the abuse is for legitimate reasons • They “love” their partner How does this relate to the way in which victims were socialized to behave and think as a child?

Elder & Child Abuse • Children and elderly can also suffer from abusive family members • Elder Abuse: the maltreatment of older family members in emotional, sexual, physical, financial, neglectful and other ways, especially where trust was expected and violated • Child and elder abuse are underreported, due in part to the relative powerlessness of the victims and the private settings of the abuse • Particular types of abuse towards children include: • Neglect: is the failure to perform necessary duties • Food, water, medical care • Incest: is sexual relations between close relatives What have you heard about elder abuse?

Family Violence • Abuse is LESS likely to occur in families where: • Spouses have an egalitarian relationships • Spouses share equal decision-making power in regard to finances, purchases, vacations, etc. • The marriage is monogamous • Normal disagreements within the family are resolved peacefully • And, if someone is abused, there is outside support for the abused and the abused seeks it after the first incident*

Family Violence • Elder abuse is MORE likely to occur when: • The elder abused the adult child as a child • The elder has decreased functioning (dementia, et al) • The abuser may not understand the disability of the elder • The abusive adult child may use drugs or alcohol

Affects on Children Children: Conflict & Crisis • What family environment is most healthy for children • Some conflict is inevitable and healthy • How conflict is handled is critical • Positive and calm family environments make children feel • Safe and secure • Loved and wanted • When parents fight, children feel: • Stressed • Anxious and may withdraw • Self-Blame* • Feelings that the fight is about them • Feelings that they try to make peace and fail

Affects on Children: Domestic Violence & Abuse • Children living in violent households tend to grow up to be perpetrators or victims • 3-10 million children witness domestic violence annually • Effects of child abuse: • More aggressive • Behaves negatively • Doesn’t get along well with others • Does poorly in school • Poor problem solving • Long-term adjustment problems Can children witnessing violence increase the likelihood of them perpetuate the cycle of violence when they’re adults?

Applying Theory How do each of these theories relate to conflict, crisis and family violence?

Take Away Points • Conflict and crises can be handled in constructive ways • Domestic violence comes in many forms • Conflict resolution, the handling of crisis and the crime of domestic violence can be learned by children through socialization and thus passed down through generations

Student Evaluations • Since I am learning how to become the most awesome teacher ever (second to Professor Wonser), would you please fill out these evaluations. • The evaluations are to review, as a whole, any of my class participation and: • My presentations and PowerPoints • The test questions for the units I presented • Class activities affiliated with the units I presented • They will not affect your grade what-so-ever • They are anonymous • Please leave written comments and suggestions, they are so valuable

Family Conflict & Crises