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Mental & Emotional Tool Kit

Mental & Emotional Tool Kit. Tool Kit. #1 Recognize, appreciate role of Emotion #2 To have Unconditional Self-Acceptance #3 Develop an Internal Locus of Control #4 To Recognize Irrational Thinking #5 To Correct Irrational Thinking

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Mental & Emotional Tool Kit

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  1. Mental & EmotionalTool Kit

  2. Tool Kit #1 Recognize, appreciate role of Emotion #2 To have Unconditional Self-Acceptance #3 Develop an Internal Locus of Control #4 To Recognize Irrational Thinking #5 To Correct Irrational Thinking #6 Step-by-step approach to troubling Life Events #7 Recognize when people have Mistaken Goals #8 Evaluate your own thoughts, feelings and actions #9 Understand why change is tough, how to make it #10 Assert yourself with I Messages

  3. Ray Mathiswww.itsjustanevent.com

  4. YouTubeChannel: itsjustaneventMental and EmotionalFitness Parts 1-13

  5. The GoalTo fix anything that’s brokenTo build a better life for yourself

  6. “Any job is easyif you use the right tool”

  7. Think of yourself as anAPPRENTICE

  8. Tool #1To recognize and appreciatethe important role Emotionplays in everyday life

  9. E – Motioncan be helpfulEnergy to Move

  10. Dysfunctional Amount of Emotion • More than is necessary or helpful • More than we’d like to have • More than we know what to do with • More than is healthy for us • A type and amount that works against us instead of for us

  11. Makes us REACT to lifeinstead ofRESPOND to it

  12. It makes us lessResponse-ABLE

  13. It can makeotherwise smart peopledo stupid things

  14. My Goal TodayTeach you how to havetruly effectiveEmotional Management

  15. Tool #2UnconditionalSelf-Acceptance(USA)

  16. SHAMEWhen you believe youaren’t living up to your ownor someone else’sExpectations

  17. Parents Teachers Coaches Friends Religion Society There are oftenplenty of Expectations from

  18. Plenty Plenty of = ofExpectationsOpportunities for young people to feel SHAME

  19. Too many young people are even told“You should beASHAMEDof yourself”

  20. Please don’t ever say thatto YOUR kids

  21. Primary DisturbanceSHAME can be the primary feeling people seek relief from by • Alcohol abuse • Drug abuse • Suicide

  22. SHAMEis often the reason studentsshut down in schooland eventually drop out

  23. Secondary DisturbanceSHAME is also makes people • Keep what they think and feel a secret • Less likely to ask for or accept help that’s available

  24. How keeping secrets hurts • Irrational thoughts get rehearsed • They go unchallenged • Develop cognitive “RUTS” • Becomes automatic to think that • OPINIONS start to feel like FACTS

  25. “Shame blocks change”Dr. Albert EllisIt keeps people from makingchanges they couldand might need to make

  26. Part of the solutionisU.S.A.

  27. Anything youthink, feel, say or do is perfectlyUNDERSTANDABLE

  28. That does NOT mean it’s • Helpful (rational) • Healthy • Acceptable to others

  29. Put other people through exactly what you’vebeen throughAnd they’d probably end upthinking, feeling and doingwhat you do(And maybe even worse)

  30. We all do the BEST we can at the timeGiven what we’vebeen throughAnd the situations wefind ourselves in

  31. Regardless of what youthink, feel, say or do • You’ll never be the first • You’re never going to be the last • You’ll always have a lot of company • It’s part of being human

  32. No one’s perfectEveryone makes mistakes

  33. That’s why we haveER’s, paramedics, policetherapists, etc.

  34. We’re all FHB’sFallible Human Beings(Dr. Albert Ellis)

  35. Who at timesthink, feel, say and do thingsthat make our livesworse instead of better

  36. It’s nothing to be ashamed of

  37. UnconditionalOther Acceptance(UOA)

  38. Benefits to you • Can still dislike what others say and do • Less likely to take what others say and do personally • Generate a lot less emotion

  39. Tool #5To develop anInternal Locus of Control

  40. Why? • To feel the way YOU want to feel • To feel as good as possible • To control of your emotional destiny • The best way to get even is to feel good • To have real POWER • To stop giving away the power & control you do have • To be the “adult in the room”

  41. But most of allTo besmarterthan everyone elseThe vast majority of people live their lives based on a lie

  42. The Big Lie“What others say and doand what happensMAKES me feel the way I do”

  43. Locus of ControlWhere you see your feelings coming fromWhat you see as the cause of them

  44. ExternalorInternal

  45. UnderstandablePart of being human

  46. The ProblemYou make how you feel depend on events, other people that you can’t and don’tCONTROL

  47. The end result • You feel worse than you need to, for longer than necessary • You miss many opportunities to feel better

  48. The real formula forfeelingsEvent + Thoughts = Feeling

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