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Mental & Emotional Tool Kit. Tool Kit. #1 Recognize, appreciate role of Emotion #2 To have Unconditional Self-Acceptance #3 Develop an Internal Locus of Control #4 To Recognize Irrational Thinking #5 To Correct Irrational Thinking
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Tool Kit #1 Recognize, appreciate role of Emotion #2 To have Unconditional Self-Acceptance #3 Develop an Internal Locus of Control #4 To Recognize Irrational Thinking #5 To Correct Irrational Thinking #6 Step-by-step approach to troubling Life Events #7 Recognize when people have Mistaken Goals #8 Evaluate your own thoughts, feelings and actions #9 Understand why change is tough, how to make it #10 Assert yourself with I Messages
YouTubeChannel: itsjustaneventMental and EmotionalFitness Parts 1-13
The GoalTo fix anything that’s brokenTo build a better life for yourself
Tool #1To recognize and appreciatethe important role Emotionplays in everyday life
Dysfunctional Amount of Emotion • More than is necessary or helpful • More than we’d like to have • More than we know what to do with • More than is healthy for us • A type and amount that works against us instead of for us
My Goal TodayTeach you how to havetruly effectiveEmotional Management
SHAMEWhen you believe youaren’t living up to your ownor someone else’sExpectations
Parents Teachers Coaches Friends Religion Society There are oftenplenty of Expectations from
Plenty Plenty of = ofExpectationsOpportunities for young people to feel SHAME
Too many young people are even told“You should beASHAMEDof yourself”
Primary DisturbanceSHAME can be the primary feeling people seek relief from by • Alcohol abuse • Drug abuse • Suicide
SHAMEis often the reason studentsshut down in schooland eventually drop out
Secondary DisturbanceSHAME is also makes people • Keep what they think and feel a secret • Less likely to ask for or accept help that’s available
How keeping secrets hurts • Irrational thoughts get rehearsed • They go unchallenged • Develop cognitive “RUTS” • Becomes automatic to think that • OPINIONS start to feel like FACTS
“Shame blocks change”Dr. Albert EllisIt keeps people from makingchanges they couldand might need to make
Anything youthink, feel, say or do is perfectlyUNDERSTANDABLE
That does NOT mean it’s • Helpful (rational) • Healthy • Acceptable to others
Put other people through exactly what you’vebeen throughAnd they’d probably end upthinking, feeling and doingwhat you do(And maybe even worse)
We all do the BEST we can at the timeGiven what we’vebeen throughAnd the situations wefind ourselves in
Regardless of what youthink, feel, say or do • You’ll never be the first • You’re never going to be the last • You’ll always have a lot of company • It’s part of being human
Who at timesthink, feel, say and do thingsthat make our livesworse instead of better
Benefits to you • Can still dislike what others say and do • Less likely to take what others say and do personally • Generate a lot less emotion
Why? • To feel the way YOU want to feel • To feel as good as possible • To control of your emotional destiny • The best way to get even is to feel good • To have real POWER • To stop giving away the power & control you do have • To be the “adult in the room”
But most of allTo besmarterthan everyone elseThe vast majority of people live their lives based on a lie
The Big Lie“What others say and doand what happensMAKES me feel the way I do”
Locus of ControlWhere you see your feelings coming fromWhat you see as the cause of them
The ProblemYou make how you feel depend on events, other people that you can’t and don’tCONTROL
The end result • You feel worse than you need to, for longer than necessary • You miss many opportunities to feel better