Family Sociology Group 13 Cairn Terrier Amanda Caruso carusoa5@mail.montclair Hannah Campbell

1. Divorce Sucks: What to do when your irreconcilable differences, lawyers fees and your ex’s Hollywood wife make you miserableBy: Mary Jo Eustace Family Sociology Group 13 Cairn Terrier Amanda Caruso carusoa5@mail.montclair.edu Hannah Campbell campbellh3@mail.montclair.edu

2. Divorce Sucks • Author, Eustace, believed that she had suffered the worst divorce • Her Husband, Dean, leaving her and her two children to marry his current wife, Tori Spelling • “Up until now, you probably thought things couldn’t get any worse. But if you’re one of the lucky few who get to meet “the other woman” while you’re still married or in the process of divorcing, you’ve now become a member of the worldwide club, a franchise if you will, called “Dumped While Married.” (Eustace, 2009). • Through humorous excerpts she describes the ups and downs of going through a divorce. Her first hand expertise allow her to share exclusive inner thoughts of the unexpected “I want a divorce” trip. • Learn how to deal with the lose of your marriage, coping with meeting the “other woman” and explain to your children that dad is not coming home • Ultimate goal is let readers know that divorce is almost inevitable and that there other people out there going through the same thing! • Like the saying goes- “Its nice to know you’re not alone.”

3. Thesis • The main thesis of Divorce Sucks, is to demonstrate that the hardships one may face during a messy divorce is not the end of the world, and you are not alone out there. There are others who are struggling with the similar issues and to share what you are going through with fellow divorcees can be the key to getting through the pain and heartache. With the added humor to lighten the heavy downfall of a divorce.

4. Helpful? • People in need will say: • “Divorce Sucks” is very helpful, especially if you are currently going through a divorce. • Can give a sense of “lightening your load”, lift your spirits and show that you are not alone • Self help books? • Although after reading these self-improvement books, you might ask yourself, what grounds do these writers have to stand on, and is the knowledge common or relevant. • Taking the advice from someone who might not be qualified to give it, may end up hurting you instead.

5. Eustace, who are you? • Mary Jo Eustace, is simply a woman who has gone through a traumatic experience and has decided to share her life with the rest of the world by writing a book on divorce and the mess that follows. • She is not: • A licensed professional- which means that her factual evidence is not credible • Her advice is unsubstantial • Trained in self improvement, psychological matters or counseling-other then herself as a patient. • She is: • An author, actress, singer, chef and mother to two children- Jack and Lola • Was married for 13 years • Originally from Toronto (Eustace, 2009).

6. Is your experience enough? • NO WAY • Sure we can always learn from others mistakes, isn’t that history, but ones personal thoughts, feelings, and emotions may be very different from another’s. • One could argue the experience is the same, it doesn’t qualify anyone to advise someone in acting the same as they did. • The only thing someone could do is discuss their experience in the hopes to touch someone and have them see that they are not the only ones going through these hard times, and they can get through it in their own individual way.

7. Divorce statistics and trends • 50% of first marriages, 67% of second marriages and 74% of third marriages end in divorce (Baker, 2007). • The U.S. divorce rate is 17.7 per 1,000 married women, down from 22.6 in 1980 (Jayson, 2005). • Massachusetts has the lowest divorce rate, 1.8 divorces per 1, 000 couples (Simon, 2010). • Women with college degrees have a lower probability of separation or divorce (Cherlin, 2010). • Reasons for divorce: • Poor communication • Financial problems • A lack of commitment to the marriage • A dramatic change in priorities • Infidelity • (DiCaro, 2005).

8. Eustace’s Data Sources: • Either a friend’s or random persons experience to give as insight in each chapters topic • Step by step lists of how to cope with each issue of divorce • Her own personal experiences • Dr. Phil • Several different television shows and movies: CSI Miami, Facts of life, War of the Roses, Leave it to Beaver, The Amazing Race, and several others • Used very little real data: only divorce rates

9. Divorce Rates and Data (Center for Disease Control,2009) (Journal of Marriage and Family, 1987)

10. Is Eustace’s data reputable? • ABSOLUTELY NOT • None of the sources of the data are reliable or reputable • All based on opinion, fiction and non- resourceful media • Extremely poor quality • Eustace collected all of the data • From both public knowledge sources and are from both a regional and national sample • Her “examples” in each chapter came from the regional sample of California and then the media references are based on national samples • Eustace only reputable data is the one divorce rate statistic that she used in the preface of the book • “with more than 50% of marriages ending in divorce”. . (Eustace, 2009).

11. Refuting or Supporting Data • Scholarly data found both supports and refutes the thesis of the book • Supports thesis: scholarly data shows that divorce happens to about half of the population, and that trends such as lack of communication, dramatic changes in lifestyle and infidelity can and will cause divorce • (DiCaro, 2005). • Refutes thesis: the scholarly data collected is not prominent in the book at all, besides for the one common knowledge divorce statistic • Primarily based on opinion and personal experience

12. Suggestions for Eustace • Future ideas? • Use factual data • Use real studies to help readers truly cope with divorce • Better way to collect data • Use a national sample • Interview divorced couples • Overall contributions? • Gave people going through a divorce comical relief • Possibly gave insight to that their divorce or situation is not as bad as other people that are out going through a divorce • Biggest problems? • Fictional data • Based on opinions of others, personal experiences and media

13. Discussion & Comparison • Eustace’s reliability for advising someone on how to cope with a divorce is irrelevant. • Used data sources such as the media, personal experience, and a step by step instruction. • Evidence/data is unsupported by viable sources. • If she had sought out help from a professional/licensed counselor or psychologist, or used a more scholarly source for her bases of facts, than her self-help book on divorce may be more helpful rather than harmful. • According to Mental Health America, it states that when going through a divorce, one could do a number of things to cope, however it varies person to person. • With notable data and advice a source like this, would be more advisable to someone experiencing a divorce rather than reading an unreliable self-help book. • If Eustace were to collect data from a source such as this, than her motive of helping those who are struggling like she once did, would enable her to be more dependable. (Mental Health America, 2011)

14. References Baker, J,. (2007). Marriage & divorce in america. http://www.terryreal.com/press/pdfs/marriage_divorce_in_america-FS.pdf Center for Disease Control and Prevention, Initials. (2009, November 17). Provisional number of divorces and annulments and rate: united states, 2000-2009. Retrieved from http://www.cdc.gov /nchs/nvss /marriage_divorce_tables.htm Cherlin, A. (2010). The marriage-go-round: the state of marriage and the family in america today. New York: Vintage Books. DiCaro, V. (2005). Nfi releases report on national marriage survey. Fatherhood Today, 10(3), http://www.divorcereform.org/cau.html Eustace, M. (2009). Divorce sucks: what to do when irreconcilable differences, lawyer fees, and your ex's hollywood wife make you miserable. Avon, MA: Adams Media. Jayson, S. (2005, July 18). Divorce declining, but so is marriage. USATODAY, http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2005-07-18-cohabit-divorce_x.htm Mental Health America, Initials. (2011). Coping with separation and divorce. http://www.nmha.org/go/information/get-info/coping-with-separation-and-divorce Norton, A., & Moorman, J. (1987). Current trends in marriage and divorce among american women. Journal of Marriage and Family, 49(1),http://fa9cv9qa2b .search.serialss olutio ns.com/?genre=article&issn=00222445&title=Journal+of+Marriage+%26+Family&volume=49&issue=1&date=19870201&atitle=Current+Trends+in+Marriage+and+Divorce+among+American+Women.&spage=3&pages=314&sid=EBSCO:Academic+Search+Complete&aulast=Norton%2c+Arthur+J. Simon, J. (2010, January 7). U.s divorce statistics. http://www.divorcemag.com/statistics/2009statsUS.shtml

15. Exam Question #1 • Eustace collects her data through. . . • Personal experience • Media • Step by step list of how to cope • All of the above

16. Exam Question #2 2. Eustace is qualified by the following credentials. . • A licensed professional- which means that her factual evidence is not credible • Her advice is unsubstantial • Trained in self improvement, psychological matters or counseling-other then herself as a patient. • None of the above

17. Exam Question # 3 3. The state with the lowest divorce rate is. . • Maine • New Jersey • Massachusetts • California http://www.homemakers.com/blog/danasblog/tag/divorce-dessert/