“Resemblances are the shadows of differences. Different people see different similarities and similar differences”

“Resemblances are the shadows of differences. Different people see different similarities and similar differences” Vladimir Nabokov

Listening evaluation • Do you ever look at your watch while another is speaking? • Do you ever finish other’s sentences? • Do you ever interrupt while someone is speaking? • Do you ever think to yourself, “I’ve heard all this before?” • Do you ever wonder what the other person just said?

The importance of listening and hearing to Interpersonal Communication • We spend 42% to 53% of our time listening • Interdependence • We co-create reality

Noise The Dynamic Circle MESSAGE CONTEXT ENCODE DECODE FEEDFORWARD FEEDBACK COMMUNICATOR COMMUNICATOR DECODE ENCODE MESSAGE ENVIRONMENT

Listening and hearing • Hearing is physiological • Listening is a conscious act

Stages of the listening process Mindfulness Hearing Organizing Evaluating Remembering Responding Interpreting

Listening is Selective • Selective perception “There is nothing new under the sun.” Solomon “Expressions given and expressions given off.” Goffman • Message-Perception Gap

Message overload Message complexity Noise Preoccupation Prejudgment Laziness & Overconfidence Not adapting Barriers to active listening Receiver Apprehension

Pseudo listening Monopolizing Monopoly is only a game Pushing your conversational agenda Diarreha of the mouth? Selective listening Do you really want feedback? Defensive listening Ambushing Downers and vultures Literal listening Forms of non-listening

Active Listening and Critical Thinking summarize and judge evaluate the evidence assess the logic dialogue not monologue analyze, analyze, analyze resist false dilemmas, overgeneralizations, and either-or thinking

“Resemblances are the shadows of differences. Different people see different similarities and similar differences”