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Child and Adolescent Sexual Development: If education is the answer, what are the questions?. Dr. Ng Kee On Clinical Psychologist. Sex Education: The Ambivalence. A little knowledge can be a dangerous thing . The $64,000 Question . Does it work ?. Back to Basics. Why Sex Education?
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Child and Adolescent Sexual Development:If education is the answer, what are the questions? Dr. Ng Kee On Clinical Psychologist
A little knowledge can be a dangerous thing
The $64,000 Question Does it work?
Back to Basics • Why Sex Education? • What it hopes to do/achieve?
Current (Parochial) Practices:The “Doomsday” Approach? Prevention of: • Sexually Transmitted Diseases • Premarital Sex • Promiscuity • Sex-role Confusion • Sexual “Perversity”/ Sexual Abuse
The “State” of the Art? “Adults coming into the classroom and yammering about sex, whether for or against it, just do not have impact on teens.”
Time for a Paradigm Shift? Threat /Danger Good & Wellness Decorative Garden Plants Popular Food
Sex-Education:Opportunities for Personal Development? Threat vsOpportunity Safety Action vsCreativity Fear/Anxiety vs Interest/Optimism
The “Consumer-led” Approach • What do most parents want for their child(ren)?
What do Children “Want”? • Pleasure ? • Security/Stability • Meaningful (Doing things right: Self-respect & Contentment) Reference: 3 Seductive Ideas (Jerome Kagan)
Beyond the “Birds & Bees” :What do we seek in Sex? • Identity & Sexuality • Affiliation & Belonging (Making & Keeping a Relationship) • Stability & Meaning: Emotional Connectedness & Contentment
Putting it into Practice:What should be Included? Meaning: Love & Emotional Connectedness Inter-dependence: Making & Keeping Relationship Independence: Identity & Sexuality Biology: Basic Needs
Sexuality:In simple language? • Manhood / Womanhood • Attractiveness: Physical and Personality • Intimacy: Physical (non sexual) vs Sexual
Making & Keeping Relationship • Communication Skills • Social Skills (e.g. Assertiveness: e.g. how to say no) • Self-Discipline Recommended reading: When I say no, I feel guilty by M Smith
Emotional Connected-ness • Empathy: Being with & Sharing (happiness & sadness) • Attentiveness & Listening • Seeking out: getting to know more of each other, exploring more agreeable/meaningful ways of enhancing the relationship (conflict management)
Knowing How:How do Children Learn • Through formal teaching • Through observation & modelling • Through participation (e.g. trials and errors) and experience
Knowing How:Who Shall do What? • Everyone: Basics; Optimism, Social competence • Family (Parents): Basics; Sexuality; Social Competence; Emotional Connectedness; Values/Norms • School: Basics; Discipline, Peer group & Pro-social activities
Knowing How:KISS – the Behavioural Method 3 Basic steps of operations: • Be Positive • Be specific (tangible and non fuzzy) • Be small
In a Nutshell:What is the Essence of Sex Education? Life Skills: • Me: My needs, My way • Thou: Your needs, Your way • Us: Our needs, Our way