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SPEAKING THE TRUTH IN LOVE PART 2. CORRECTION COACHING AND ENCOURAGEMENT. but speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head, even Christ, Ephesians 4:15.
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SPEAKING THE TRUTH IN LOVE PART 2 CORRECTION COACHING AND ENCOURAGEMENT
but speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head, even Christ, Ephesians 4:15
In this age of instantaneous communication we have become used to communication that is one dimensional.
To grab our attention it has to be able to be grasped in one second or less. The meaning has to be no more than the words say.
It cannot require thought to understand it. It can contain no more than one message. It cannot have any subtleties.
It is not surprising that the most common communication on the planet today is in the form of a “text message” on our cell phones, a “status update” on facebook or a “tweet” on Twitter.
The problem with this emphasis on single purpose communication is it is like eating junk food. Feed someone junk food every day and soon healthy food no longer appeals to them.
The Bible is not a text message, status update or a tweet from God. If we read it as such we will not be able to gain the riches it intends to bestow on us.
When I was a son to my father,Tender and the only son in the sight of my mother, 4 Then he taught me and said to me, “Let your heart hold fast my words; Keep my commandments and live; Proverbs 4:3-4 (NASB)
Acquire wisdom! Acquire understanding!Do not forget nor turn away from the words of my mouth.6 “Do not forsake her, and she will guard you;Love her, and she will watch over you. Proverbs 4:5-6 (NASB)
The primary thing is wisdom Acquire wisdom;And with all your acquiring, get understanding. Proverbs 4:8 (NASB)
“Prize her, and she will exalt you; She will honor you if you embrace her. 9 “She will place on your head a garland of grace; She will present you with a crown of beauty.” Proverbs 4:8-9 (NASB)
Hear, my son, and accept my sayings And the years of your life will be many.11 I have directed you in the way of wisdom;I have led you in upright paths. Proverbs 4:10-11 (NASB)
When you walk, your steps will not be impeded;And if you run, you will not stumble.13 Take hold of instruction; do not let go.Guard her, for she is your life. Proverbs 4:12-13 (NASB)
Words of Wisdom must be continually reflected on to bring forth their meaning. Their meaning is found by continually meditating on them. We find their applications as we spend time with them.
The word meditate today might sound like something straight out of the New Age. It is not. Thousands of years before the Maharishi taught the Beatles to chant the names of Hindu gods and called it meditation the principle of true meditation was taught to Joshua.
This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate in it day and night, that you may observe to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success. Joshua 1:8 (NKJV)
The word God used to tell Joshua what to do with His word in Hebrew is וְהָגִיתָ(hagitah). It comes from the root הָגִהָ (hagah) which means to meditate, to muse, to speak, to utter, to mutter, to moan, to groan, to growl, to roar, to plot, to devise and to imagine.
The concept is that we are to be continually interacting with the words God gives us – spiritually, mentally, and physically -- in a lifelong seeking to apply them to our lives. As we do so we find in them the riches of their wisdom. With that in mind let’s look at our first scripture again.
but speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head, even Christ, Ephesians 4:15
As we look at the message we see that we are clearly told to grow up. We are also told how to grow up. Further we are told what it looks like to grow up.
but speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head, even Christ, Ephesians 4:15
Last time I spoke I shared with you how by speaking the truth about ourselves with each other we find an amazing path to freedom.
Today I want to go further and share two of the most important understandings I have found in this scripture to personally grow up and to help others grow up into the likeness of Jesus.
Correction and Encouragement Both absolutely require that we speak the truth with love to each other.
As I have said before it is easy to speak the truth and it is easy to “love” without expressing truth.
They represent our human tendencies to Fight (speak the truth without love) or Flee (maintain absolute silence for love’s sake).
While these to polar opposite communication forms may seem to deal with relationship conflict well they actually kill relationships completely.
One person has to die in each situation for the relationship to continue. In fighting the aggressor lives alone. In fleeing the one fleeing dies in silence.
As Christians we are not to fight or flee we are to stand. That is the position when we speak the truth in love.
By doing so we open the door for growth for ourselves and for others.
We will never grow if we will not receive correction. For this command is a lamp,this teaching is a light,and correction and instructionare the way to life, Proverbs 6:23 (NIV)
Correction and instructionare the way to life….. Since Correction and Instruction are the way to life what attitude should we have toward them?
Do you like to breath? Do you like to eat? If your boat crashed in the middle of the ocean would you be grateful for and hang on to the life raft? Would you grab hold of the life line from the helicopter that came to rescue you?
But if you are at all like me I have not always perceived correction and instruction like these things. But the Bible says they are even more involved in keeping us alive than these things are.
With that thought in mind let me ask you a very personal question. Do you allow people to speak to you the truth about yourself as they see you? Especially those who really know you and love you? More than allowing people to speak the truth to you do you passionately pursue them to speak it to you?
When people do speak the truth – especially those who do so because they love you – do you reward them with honor by listening carefully in a state of humility? Do you thank them for taking the risk of telling you the truth? Or do you stop your ears and silence them through aggression or playing the victim?
When people speak the truth to us because they love us we are being given a priceless gift.
Even when our adversaries speak it to us in bitterness it can still be a priceless gift. They may give us an even more accurate picture of how we look because they would not hold back anything like those who love us might.
If you have not been overly excited about this aspect of the Christian life then could I challenge you today to become so. It is a way for you to make incredible advancement in your growth as a Christian. See it as it is. You are destined for greatness but you will never achieve it without others speaking the truth to you to help you get there.
Like an amazing athlete has never won gold without being ready to listen to and practice what they have heard from their coaches and fellow athletes, you cannot win the prize without letting others “coach” you.
I now want to talk about our call to be “coached” and to be “coaches”. To do so I want us to visit Pike Place Fish Market in Seattle: FISH! Culture First clip.flv FISH! Culture Second clip).flv
Coaching is the fundamental way Pike Place Fish market became the most famous fish market in the world. You might ask what does a secular fish market have to do with my life in God. They took principles God laid down centuries before and used them to change their workplace into a place they loved to be.
The concept is simple. They set down behavior goals everyone from the boss to the part time employees are to meet every minute of everyday. When they see each other not living up to those goals they ask permission to “coach” them. They provide their “coaching” in a positive, encouraging communication and then invite their colleague to respond.
In three studies of the concept of mutual coaching used in Pike’s Peak Fish Market in Seattle they found these amazing results:
Study 1: Training alone increased productivity by 22.4 percent, whereas training and follow-up coaching increased productivity by 88 percent!
Study 2: Coaching produced a 529% return on investment as well as significant intangible benefits.
Study 3:Results from coaching include increased self-awareness 68%, better goal-setting 62%, lower stress levels 57%, increased confidence 52%, enhanced communication skills 40% and better relationship with co-workers 33%.
While correction and instruction are so vital in a coaching role, the most important gift a coach can give to his athletes is inspiration. This clip is from Remember the Titans Remember the Titans Gettysburg - YouTube2.flv