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Growing Responsible Kids

Growing Responsible Kids . Advice adapted from John Rosemond’s Ending the Homework Hassles. Clear expectations for your child’s behavior Monitoring your child’s activities including: Video Games Internet Use (ex. Facebook , internet gaming) Television and Movies Music

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Growing Responsible Kids

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  1. Growing Responsible Kids Advice adapted from John Rosemond’s Ending the Homework Hassles

  2. Clear expectations for your child’s behavior • Monitoring your child’s activities including: • Video Games • Internet Use (ex. Facebook, internet gaming) • Television and Movies • Music • Parenting disconnect between child’s independence with media vs. micromanaging child’s academics Responsible Parenting=Responsible Kids

  3. You and your children engage in nightly battles over when homework will be done. • Your children rush through homework with sloppy, incomplete results. • Your children “forget” to bring their homework home. • You do more work than your child does. • It takes FOREVER to finish the homework. Does this sound familiar?

  4. Responsibility • Autonomy • Perseverance • Time management • Initiative • Self reliance • Resourcefulness Self Esteem 7 Hidden Values of Homework

  5. Parent Consultant Parent Participant On/off the field, scooping up fumbles Overly emotionally involved Spends large amounts of time appropriating homework Hovers • On the sidelines • Concerned, but detached • Interventions are brief, often referring back to teacher • Simply available Two kinds of parenting

  6. Over-involved Parent Participant Consulting Parent Available Assigns Responsibility Encourages Independence Sends positive messages like “You are competent to do this on your own, I trust that you can, I trust that you want to, and I trust that you will.” • Hovers • Assumes Responsibility • Encourages Dependence • Sends negative messages like “I don’t trust you to do an adequate job on your own.” “I doubt you’re capable of doing this yourself.” “You make me look bad when you make mistakes.” Which One are You?

  7. The ABC’s of Ending the HW Hassles

  8. Do HW in a private, personal area, not a high traffic area like the kitchen • Stock “homework central” with all materials needed, make it comfortable and well lit • Fosters independence • Defines HW as the child’s responsibility • Helps parents resist the urge to hover All By Myself

  9. Stay out of the HW unless the child asks you to get involved…helps develop initiative (7 hidden values) • Don’t ask unnecessary questions like “Do you need help?” • 80% of the time “I need help” means the child is looking for someone to fix a problem or bail them out of a situation • Back off from “helping” but continue to support and encourage Back Off!

  10. If asked for help limit your involvement to • Clarifying or reinterpreting directions • Demonstrating or giving example of a procedure • Reviewing or checking for accuracy, adequacy • Help, but keep it brief and encouraging (five to ten minutes) • Don’t do the work for the child • Don’t “go back to school” • Don’t get involved in an emotional exchange

  11. Set an upper time limit on homework, a deadline for when it must be done • Kid decides when to begin, parent decides when to call “time” • Make the deadline consistent • Teaches time management (one of the 7 Hidden Values) Call It Quits (at a reasonable hour)

  12. What are you doing right? • What are you doing wrong? • What do you plan to change? So, Are YOU Growing Responsible Kids?

  13. Thank you for listening! Alexis Shivers, M. Ed., NCC, ALC, 4th Grade Counselor Laura Lynn Boone, Ed. S., 5th Grade Counselor

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