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Men with a History of Substance Abuse and Trauma and Its Effects on the Father-Child Relationship. Strengthening Connections between parents and children affected by substance abuse, HIV, and trauma Conference The Driskill Hotel Austin, Texas September 12, 2012 Tanji L. Donald, M.Ed. PCS
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Men with a History of Substance Abuse and Trauma and Its Effects on the Father-Child Relationship Strengthening Connections between parents and children affected by substance abuse, HIV, and trauma Conference The Driskill Hotel Austin, Texas September 12, 2012 Tanji L. Donald, M.Ed. PCS Consultant and Trainer tanjineal@yahoo.com
Workshop Agenda • Welcome & Introduction • Ice-Breaker • Overview • Childhood Abuse and Neglect • Affects of SA & Trauma on the Father-Child Relationship • Daniel’s Story • Processing Grief & Loss • Strategies and Interventions • Resources
Fatherhood Definition • A man who is participating fully in all aspects of their children’s lives emotionally, physically and financially. • Fatherhood is defined by one’s expectations, personal beliefs, culture, and value system.
Factors Related to Men with Childhood Neglect & Abuse History
Impact of Substance Use Disorders & Trauma on the Father-Child Relationship Separation and Reunification • Instability • Relapse • Unresolved feelings and emotions • Limited opportunities to re-establish father-child connections • Loss of contact with child’s mom
Impact of Substance Use Disorders & Trauma on the Father-Child Relationship Lack of Knowledge • Self-Care Skills • Effective Discipline Practices • Children’s Developmental Tasks • Needs of Children
Impact of Substance Use Disorders & Trauma on the Father-Child Relationship Lack of Knowledge • Problem Solving Skills • Conflict Resolution Skills • Social & Emotional Development • Establishing, Implementing & Maintaining Routines
Impact of Substance Use Disorders & Trauma on the Father-Child Relationship Emotional Disconnection Between Parent & Child Caused by: • Undeveloped Relationships • Isolation • Emotional Effects of Use & Withdrawal from Substances • Difficulty Maintaining Trust
Possible Impacts of Substance Use Disorders on a Child’s Behaviors • Impulsive Behavior • Lack of Internalized Image of Right and Wrong • Frequently Seen as “Acting Out” • Unhealthy, Maladaptive Roles in Family • Unhealthy coping strategies
Possible Impacts of Substance Use Disorders & Trauma on a Child’s Emotional Development • Numbing – Don’t Feel • Poor Self-Regulation Skills • Difficulty to Calm and Self-Soothe • Shame and Guilt • Un-Grieved losses • Boys – Speech, Behavior, Conduct Disorders (Reference – Brown University Newsletter)
Daniel’s Story ______, Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Principles of Relational Development • Authenticity is the freedom and ability to live within a relationship at a high level of exposure and vulnerability • Mutuality means that energy and interest flow back and forth between two people and is characterized by a dynamic, interactive sensitivity and responsiveness • Empathy is the process by which disclosure and sharing on oneself leads to a heightened sense of self and understanding others. J.B. Miller
Nurture the Child • Structure & Consistency • Empathic & Nurturing Responses • Personal Growth • Coping Skills • Re-parent • Opportunities to Enhance Self-Esteem • Allow Mistakes • Praise/Acknowledgement • Creativity & Fun
Intervention Strategies Fathers Need • Opportunities to Acknowledge the Impact of Substance Abuse and Trauma on Their Family • Support in Developing a Positive Self-Image as a Parent • Step-by-Step Instructions • An Opportunity to Grieve
Intervention Strategies Fathers Need • To be Included in Family Assessments that Incorporate their Strengths & Competencies as well as their Parenting Issues • Father Focused Age Appropriate Activities • Parenting Education and Support Programs
Resources • Handouts • Websites • www.helpguide.org/child abuse physical emotional sexual neglect.htm • www.findtreatment.samhsa.gov • www.ct.gov/dph/lib/dph/hisr/pdf/building_healthy_relationships.pdf • Access to free materials – www.fatherhoodproject.org • www.ACF/healthymarriage.gov