“I can’t build up an image in my head of bisexuality”: A Qualitative study of bisexual women negotiating appearance an

1. Nikki Hayfield Centre for Appearance Research (CAR) University of the West of England (UWE) Bristol “I can’t build up an image in my head of bisexuality”: A Qualitative study of bisexual women negotiating appearance and visual identity

2. Overview • Background • The functions of visual presentation • The invisibility of bisexuality • The study • Early themes • Discussion

3. The (Under)Valuing of Appearance Research • Clothing is a major way to modify the body – embodied self includes tattoos/piercings, styling/dying of hair and managing the body in how it appears • But clothing/fashion seen as depoliticised and appearance often considered unworthy of academic attention

4. Valuing Appearance Research • Our appearance plays an important part in our identity and because people often read from our appearance, the visual presentation of the self is argued to be ‘anything but superficial’ (Gleeson & Frith, 2003:7) • The clothed self is ‘a kind of visual metaphor for identity’ (Davis, 1992:25) • We can use appearance as a tool, either to hide, or to become noticed (Frith, 2003; Gleeson and Frith, 2003) • It is generally assumed that what one chooses to visually present to others will give accurate information about the internal or inner-self (Holland, 2004; Holliday, 1999)

5. Functions of Appearance Norms for Lesbians and Gay Men • Dressing ‘the part ‘enables expression and communication of sexuality: - sexual signalling/coming out - creating a sense of group identity distinct from the wider culture - historically - as a political tool to raise visibility and gain ‘equal’ rights - as a political statement / critique of the rigid dress codes of heterosexual society - as pleasurable to look and be looked at (Clarke & Turner 2007; Walker 2001; Holliday 1999; Gamson 1998; Esterberg, 1996; Ainley, 1995)

6. The Invisibility of Bisexuality • Bisexuality is rarely acknowledged, and therefore invisiblised, within • mainstream media • lesbian and gay communities • psychology/sexology/psychotherapy and in academia more generally (Barker & Langdridge 2008) • There is an overlooking of bisexuality as a potential identity position (Barker & Langdridge (2008:389)

7. The Study • Aim: To explore how and why bisexual women use appearance practices such as clothing, body art & cosmetic/beauty practices in order to create a bisexual visual identity • Semi-structured interviews with twenty self identified bisexual women • Data analysed using thematic analysis

8. Emerging Themes • The invisible bisexual • The visible lesbian • Actively managing appearance I: ‘It’s that look in between’ • Actively managing appearance II: The ‘policing’ of appearance

9. The Invisible Bisexual • “I don’t know many people who are bisexual so … (mm) I can’t build up a, uh, an image in my head (mm) of bisexuality (mm) um, I know lots of little old ladies so I have a little old lady picture (yeah) I know lots of feisty old ladies, I have a feisty old lady picture (yeah) um, but I don’t, you know, there’s very very few people who are out there as bisexual y’know” (P8 ,Roxy)

10. The Invisible Bisexual • “I think that, one of the things that bugs me is that I don’t think that there’s a generally recognisable sort of bi look so it’s really difficult to be visible as bi, so I usually opt for looking a bit queer and hoping that people ‘get it’ [..] I think it’s much easier to look slightly alternative and it’s yeah, it’s more, it’s easier to look non-specifically queer than it is to look bi, I don’t know how you’d look bi” (P15, Eddy)

11. The Visible Lesbian “I’d be quite reluctant to assume anybody was a lesbian from their appearance or anybody was gay from their appearance, […] there are certain characteristics … that, y’know you can assume somebody is lesbian or gay from their appearance (yeah) but um, in my experience it’s not always correct […] women looking really butch (mm), um, all that kind of stuff, short hair (mm) but I just it’s … I mean it, it, it is sometimes the case, there are women I’ve met who are, are lesbian or bi who do look (yep) um, sort of they’re wearing sort of shirts, they’ve got short spiky hair (mm) trousers, big boots, but there are also many lesbians and bi women who don’t look like that at all”. (P2 Betty)

12. The Visible Lesbian • “[T]he lesbian being butch walk, it’s the like confident, butch lesbian and that’s how they walk and do their swagger (laughs)” (P3 Emily) • “Ok, you have to look really miserable for a start (laughter) normally short hair […] y’know you you’ve gotta, you’ve gotta have this atmosphere of ‘don’t come anywhere near me or I’m gonna beat you up’ um, this is stereotypical cos loads of, none of my friends are like this at all (mm) but y’know if I saw someone in the street and I was to go ‘oh they’re gay’ these are the reasons why, so yeah um, normally short hair um, piercings […] nose, eyebrow, which I’ve had as well, um, ears, maybe even tongue lip, that, anything really, anything that’s kind of extravert, um, tend to be overweight (laughter) no remember this is blatantly stereotypical […] it’s more in the facial features I would say and the attitude (really) that give, that tells me, my radar comes out” (P7 Elizabeth)

13. Actively managing appearance I: “It’s that look in between” “[It’s not about] being overly feminine, y’know to the point that you’re just kind of right, look at my boobs’ (mm) and not sort of, underly feminine as like ‘I’m never going to wear a skirt’ (right) y’know it’s kind of somewhere in the middle that’s kind of just natural […] I would have been quite intimidated if y’know if somebody really um … butch had turned up […] I wanted to try a relationship with a woman (mm) so y’know, why play down womanly attributes (mm) y’know what I find attractive in woman, in women, is …. womanly-ness (mm) and femininity and beauty […] but saying that if she’d turned up in high heels and a little skirt and her cleavage hanging out I would have been equally as like ‘whoagh’ y’know” (P1 Gemma)

14. Actively managing appearance I: “It’s that look in between” • “I think, ok you’re gonna get some women that are complete, they look completely straight, you’ve got your little heels and your short skirts (mm) and your y’know, handbag and massive earrings and tottering out, they’re probably not gonna be gay, right (right) some might be, but they’re probably not gonna be, then you’re gonna get your huge butch dykes with the carpets under their arms (mm) attitudes um, and they’re probably not gonna be straight, so you’ve got your two extremes and I think then there’s that look in the middle, where … there’s a little bit of something there, from either side, there the ones that are gonna be bisexual (mm) they might not be, they might be straight, they might be gay, y’know, cos you can’t stereotype like that but if there are gonna be, if there is a look it’s that look in between isn’t it” (P7 Elizabeth)

15. Actively managing appearance II: The ‘policing of appearance’ • “[I]in bi space, and not in gay, and not in gay space because there I feel the need to be kind of uber-visible and sort of butch, butch up a bit and wear like a man’s shirt and and cords (yeah) but in bi space I get to do femme. (Right, right). In ways that I wouldn’t, wouldn’t do in straight space because it would just be like I was uh sort of failing at it (right, right) um, y’know like uh, a size twenty two woman in a, a little dress in a straight club looks like a kind of failure. Y’know, it looks like you’re trying to play the same game as all these little girls and, and it just doesn’t, it feels wrong, it feels like drag” (P14 Claire)

16. Conclusions • Despite a distinct lack of ‘bisexual look’ the bisexual women in the study actively managed their appearance in differing ways and in relation to different spaces • Implications of invisibility? Important for future research to investigate further the specificities of bisexual invisibility • Your thoughts and questions?

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