Your Body. Your Story.

1. Your Body.Your Story. How body image imacts intimacy in relationships. Presenters: Kristin B. Hodson Alisha B. Worthington www.realintimacybook.com www.thehealinggroup.com

2. 28 Responses as of 8:30 last night All of the respondents were female All between 20-49 Are you Satisfied with your body? 21% said yes 79% said no Was your mother satisfied with her body? 29% said yes, 71% said no Are you currently dieting? 43% said yes, 57% said no Have you ever dieted? 68% said yes, 32% said no Do you avoid intimacy because of how you feel about your body? 39% said yes, 61% said no Do you feel like your partner likes your body? 71% said yes, 29% said no Do you ever fantastize your life our relationship would be happier if a part of your body were different 86% said yes, 14% said no We will post more results on our website YourSample Based on the survey you took, here are your answers

3. What is body image How we perceive our bodies visually How we feel about our physical appearance; how we think and talk to ourselves about our bodies Our sense of how other people view our bodies Our sense of our bodies in physical space (kinesthetic perception) - how much space do we take up Our level of connectedness to our bodies http://brown.edu/Student_Services/Health_Services/Health_Education/nutrition_&_eating_concerns/body_image.php

4. Factors that contribute to body image Comments from family, friends and others about our, their, and other people’s bodies, both positive and negative. Being praised for appearance, not receiving praise or hearing criticism or suggestions on ways you could be more healthy, to name a few. Ideals that we develop about physical appearance meaning, this is the way perfect legs look, this is what attractive arms look like, perky breasts that are a size c become the ideal or washer abs that are tan even in the middle of January when the sun isn’t even in existence...especially in Utah! The frequency with which we compare ourselves to others. Maybe we do this with friends, acquaintances, people in facebook. Exposure to images of idealized versus normal bodies - we see so many of these hoped for bodies floating around pinterest. The experience of physical activity. Either we liked it, were pushed into it, and view it negatively. The experience of abuse, including sexual, physical, and emotional abuse. These experiences can distort and twist the way we perceive and experience our bodies, our space and our right to boundaries.

5. Sexual Body Image and Core Erotic Wound Where body image and our sexual esteem intersect. Take the factors that contribute to body image and include your sensual selves. This doesn’t have to be sexual in the context of sex but where we express our sensual selves such as flirting, feeling attractive, etc It is often shame, embarrassment or rejection that make us feel insecure in our own bodies, and make us feel insecure to share our bodies with another person. Pamela Madsen: Shameless

6. Body Image and Sexual Intimacy Studies show that shame and anxiety about one's body lead to the avoidance of physical closeness and reduced sexual satisfaction. Ann Kearney-Cooke, the Director of the Cincinnati Psychotherapy Institute says, "Women with poor body image don't initiate sex as often, and they're more self-conscious.

7. Create a new story You are empowered when you remain aware that each moment you are telling a story, and that’s what it is, just a story, and that you can choose to take the plot an entirely new direction. You are the author of your story.

8. Actively challenge your inner critic Be more than a clothing size Recognize the lies and deception and call it out Lets your spouse verbally reassure you and BELIEVE them Have a scale funeral and kill it Leave your body alone for a bit Engage in healthy movement and healthy living Hang around with “healthy” people – food, bodies, activities Take a risk and create a new chapter for yourself and your relationship