Spiritual Development of Our Youth

1. Spiritual Development of Our Youth Dioceses of Charleston & Oakland andNew York & Washington, DCClergy Retreat September 24, 2008

2. The primary lesson for life must be implanted in the soul from the earliest age. The primary lesson for children is to know the eternal God, the One who gives everlasting life. -St. Clement of Alexandria • If your heart overflows with faith and love for God, you will find a thousand and two ways to pass on these feelings to your child. • On the Upbringing of Children by Bishop Irenaius • If we pray, and learn little by little to live in the spirit of prayer, we create an atmosphere in which children taste prayer and God’s presence. If we dwell in this spirit, even without words, even before children can speak, they can acquire a natural taste for prayer, and the desire to know God. • Children in the Church Today by Sister Magdalen

3. Infancy • Homeostasis: Taking in the World • Homeostasis is defined by the Merriam-Webster Dictionary as “a relatively stable state of equilibrium.” For newborns, the world is anything but stable. Life in their mother’s womb was warm and secure—now, there are loud noises, bright lights, cold air, and a barrage of other things that assault their sensitive bodies daily. During this stage, an infant is learning to process all of the different stimuli they experience in their environment. It would be very difficult for them to progress to other developmental milestones if they never learned how to filter the different sensory information that bombards them daily.

4. Infancy • What does this mean for their spiritual development? • Bring babies to church and bring the church to the home! They need the magnificent sensory feast of the Church to embrace them from the beginning. Children need to smell the incense, touch the icons, hear the rich sounds, and see the beauty of God around them. Most importantly, it is there they taste Jesus Christ in Holy Communion. Parents then need to bring the Church into their homes by filling their homes with prayer and Godly reminders (icons, incense, liturgical music, the Bible, etc.). By doing this children will sense that our homes are merely an extension of the Church. St. John Chrystotom writes, “Every Christian family ought to be as it were a little church consecrated to Christ, and wholly influenced and governed by His rule.”

5. Infancy • Attachment: Falling in Love • Attachment for a baby is the process of becoming emotionally close to his or her parents—falling in love with them. But attachment to parents is not enough. Our children need to attach themselves to our unifying heavenly Father in order for them to develop into healthy Christians, capable of dealing with the challenges of life. It is not enough for us to feed, shelter, and love our babies waiting for them to grow old enough so we can ‘teach’ them about God. We must help our children attach to God from the very beginning of their lives so that He becomes part of their being. How do we do this at a young age? We attach ourselves to God and through us our children will grow to know Him. In his book, On the Upbringing of Children, Bishop Irenaeus writes, “If your heart over flows with faith and love for God, you will find a thousand and two ways to pass on these feelings to your child.”

6. Infancy • Intentional Communication: Let’s Talk • Once children have acclimated to their environment and attached to a caregiver, they begin to communicate. They are actively engaging those around them with or without verbal skills and learning more through ‘talking’ with others. From a spiritual development point of view, the child is ready to intentionally communicate with God—to pray. When we pray, we enter into a conversation with God and attach ourselves to Him in body, mind, and soul. St. Dimitri of Rostov writes, “Prayer is turning the mind and thoughts toward God. To pray means to stand before God with the mind, mentally to gaze unswervingly at Him, and to converse with Him in reverent fear and hope.” (cont’d)

7. Infancy • For our little ones, beginning to pray shouldn’t be their first experience with prayer. Prior to this they have been praying from their parents’ loving arms in church and home. Through this, they heard and experienced what it means to communicate through prayer. Now, we encourage them in their own prayers before and after meals and when they wake and sleep, and through their day. They can begin with a simple “Lord have mercy” while doing their cross and progress to saying their own prayer asking God for strength and giving Him thanks and praise. We should nurture in them their own prayers while we teach them common prayers and hymns of the church.

8. Infancy • Exploration: Joy of Discovery • Exploration for a child is the action of learning more about something that interests them. This stage is why we child-proof our homes! When a child is getting into stuff, they are taking an active role in their learning and this is a very good thing. Exploration is the best kind of learning because it is intrinsically motivated. This joy of discovery contributes to their overall development. The child is fully invested in exploration and they take great joy from it and this is when the most learning occurs. In this stage of spiritual development, our children are ready to explore their faith more independently. In this stage, our children are creating their own experiences. Our ultimate goal for our children is for them to be so in love and connected with Christ that they want to know all about Him. In the words of St. Paul, we want Christ to “…dwell in your (their) hearts through faith; that you (they), being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height– to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you (they) may be filled with all the fullness of God” (Ephesians 3:17-19).

9. Early Childhood: 3-6 • All the information should be built around what the children perceive by their senses. • The purpose of telling them Bible and saint stories is to accumulate impressions and pre-liminary ideas of what God does.

10. Early Childhood: 3-6 • Understanding of Church: At this age, church is understood strictly as the church building. • Understanding of God:God is willingly recognized as "the one who made everything" when this is stated by adults. Jesus Christ is recognized as someone who was very good and helped people. • Understanding of Prayer: On one hand, prayers and church rites are perceived as obligations imposed by parents. On the other hand there is willing acceptance of the automatic and magical validity of prayer.

11. Early Childhood: 3-6 • Understanding of Symbolism: The symbolism of things is readily acceptable, i.e., a stick is a gun, etc. But the symbolic meaning of stories is often interpreted quite irrelevantly. • Understanding of Moralism: At this stage, evil is identified with the material harm done, with parental or social disapproval, with the severity of the punishment. Any injustice or hurt to oneself is strongly felt, but there is little perception of hurting others or of being unjust to them. Good is identified with approval.

12. Early Childhood: 3-6 Ideas for teaching: • Arrange visits to the church when there are no services going on when the children can touch and examine all they see. • Train students in the physical aspects of church behavior: sign of the cross, kneeling, kissing an icon, putting up a candle, approaching Holy Communion. • Concepts that can be taught include the sign of the cross, Bible stories preparing for the concept of the Holy Trinity (creation, icon of the visit of the three angels, God speaking to Moses on the mountain), Bible stories from the New Testament (Nativity, Epiphany, Jesus and the children, calming the tempest, healing the paralytic, Jesus and Zacchaeus, entry to Jerusalem, Last Supper, Crucifixion, Resurrection, Ascension, Pentecost).

13. Early Childhood: 3-6 • Short prayer sentences enable the children to join in liturgical worship: "In the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit;" "Lord have mercy," "Glory to You, O Lord," "Alleluia," "Grant this O Lord," and others. • Short prayers can be memorized by singing or reciting them in class. • Children can be encouraged to make up simple prayers and "litanies" of their own, asking God for what they need and thanking Him. • It's also appropriate to prepare lists of names of family and friends to be remembered in individual prayer or during Divine Liturgy.

14. Middle Childhood: 6-10 • The main concept to teach here is that our church services have a structure and everything said and done has a meaning. • At this stage, it's appropriate to teach the meaning of familiar prayers (Lord's Prayer) in terms of their own life experience (i.e., what happened when I was baptized? What can we bring as our gifts to God?).

15. Middle Childhood: 6-10 • The purpose of studying the Lord's Prayer is not its memorization, but making the petitions come alive in examples from the children's experience. • Everything should be done to convey the importance and impressiveness of God giving a Law. Since children frequently ask about the Church's rules, they are ready for a concept of disciplined behavior. Its meaning for Christian growth has to be explained.

16. Middle Childhood: 6-10 • Understanding of the Church: At this point, church is mainly perceived as church services. Attitude to attending church services is considerably influenced by the degree of the child's active participation and understanding. • Understanding of God: Children try to see God in terms of their rather primitive rationalism, moving away from the realistic fantasy of earlier childhood. His omnipotence and justice, in rather primitive terms, is readily recognized. They tend to accept unquestioningly the existence of God, as well as simple "cause and effect" doctrine, but it is difficult for them to perceive the presence of God in their daily lives. Christ is perceived as a unique person who can work miracles. There is curiosity about the material means of the miracles more than about their meaning.

17. Middle Childhood: 6-10 • Understanding of Symbolism: Children begin to understand the symbolism of parables and narratives if they deal with actions and feelings within their experience. They are ready to see that a story told about someone can apply to what I feel and what I do. • Understanding of Prayer and the Sacraments: The child's attitude to prayer wavers between formally observing rules imposed by parents and a belief in the magic power of prayer. The more mature children of this age are conscious of certain limitations in what one should pray for. Thought most Orthodox children partake of the sacraments of the Eucharist and Confession, the meaning of the sacraments is not clearly understood.

18. Middle Childhood: 6-10 • Understanding of Moralism: Clear-cut moral rules and standards are easily accepted and the authority of parents is readily recognized. Concept of justice is primitive and harsh. Attitudes are strongly egocentric. Gradually, however, the capacity to recognize one's own fault, to experience repentance and compassion, can become stronger. Evil is still evaluated according to its material gravity and social reprobation.

19. Middle Childhood: 6-10 Ideas for teaching: • Teaching methods can include audio-visual aids to map out the structure and meaning of each part of the Liturgy. • Best teaching methods are to creatively illustrate stories from Old and New Testaments about how God acts in our life - in the past and today. Bible stories can include the story of Exodus, with emphasis on how God taught Moses to know Him; also, the study of the Twelve Great Feasts and their New Testament readings are useful for curriculum.

20. Middle Childhood: 6-10 • Children should be given the opportunity to see the sacrament of Baptism performed. • New Testament parables adapt themselves very well to dramatization by children. In acting them out, children express their own interpretation of the feelings involved. • A mural concerning Exodus can involve the work of the whole class, or the students could make models of stone tablets, or the teacher could show a movie.

21. Late Childhood: 10-13 • The greatest need in this stage is to be able to carry over into the realm of relationships (family, school community) the concepts of Christian faith. • Sin is more than "breaking a rule." They can begin to perceive the freedom of choice and the responsibility for the choice that they bear. • Moral values are best presented by telling about persons and their actions, then discussing moral rules.

22. Late Childhood: 10-13 • This is the stage for the study of the sacraments (rites, meaning, some historical background) as well as for introductory concepts of church history. • As a first step towards dealing with the problem of Christian plurality, we can help children overcome parochialism within the Orthodox Church. Visits, followed by discussions, can be arranged to other Orthodox churches (i.e., OCA, Greek, Serbian, Ukrainian, etc). • Concepts to be touched upon at this age include who is God - Father, Son, and Holy Spirit; what is heaven; how does God show Himself to others and to me, etc.

23. Late Childhood: 10-13 • Understanding of the Church: Children begin to perceive meanings beyond the external rites, but are still confused about them. More and more they need to involve themselves in action within the Church. Need to identify with a few friends or with an adult leader with the church. They experience conflict between their loyalty to their church and their loyalty to the society of their friends outside the church. They attempt to find rational explanations of the plurality of Christian groups and of religions. More and more they tend to feel that people believe in many different ways and that all ways can be good. The division between the world of the church and the world of everyday concerns grows sharper.

24. Late Childhood: 10-13 • Understanding of God: Children experience difficulty in adjusting their earlier ideas of God as a kind of glorified Santa Claus to more spiritual concepts. There is danger of their beginning to see "god," "miracles," and "long ago" in contrast to "absence of God," "natural law," and "modern living," with little relation between these two worlds. Jesus Christ is perceived rather as a historical person than as a "Savior," with little sense of a personal relation to Him. Theological thought structures, if they are brief and clear, area readily perceived and accepted.

25. Late Childhood: 10-13 • Understanding of prayer: Prayer as an imposed obligation tends to be discarded. "Magic" attitude is still quite strong. Prayers grow less selfish, needs of others are remembered. As children grow more conscious of life's pressures, prayers for protection, for becoming a better person, for forgiveness, become more meaningful and authentic. They are more ready to understand the meaning of sacraments as related to actual needs in daily life. • Understanding of Symbolism: Children are now ready to understand the true symbolism of rites and narratives. There is growing interest in discovering meanings, though these meanings must be well within the reach of their comprehension.

26. Late Childhood: 10-13 • Understanding of Moralism: Moral sense is still mainly determined by approval or disapproval, but there is a clearer perception of the concept of love in relationships. Though the law of the group is still supreme, a subjectivism begins to develop, which may lead to the rejection of law. There is a tendency to feel dissatisfied with oneself. It is very difficult to establish standards of moral "good taste," given the pressure of standards imposed by our mass media and the desire of the youngsters to imitate older teenagers.

27. Late Childhood: 10-13 Ideas for teaching: • In an effort to make liturgical texts more meaningful, children can be encouraged to put them in their own words. Children's litanies, hymns and troparia can be made up. • Children can also be encouraged to "re-tell" parables in terms of modern life, using objects and actions from today to express the symbolic meaning of the parable.

28. Late Childhood: 10-13 • The concept of the Trinity can be taught through the Genesis story of Creation; also, the Old Testament concept of God can be compared to how other religions of that time viewed God. • Biblical situations involving moral conflict can now be presented (Noah's sons, tower of Babel, conflict of Jacob and Esau, Pontius Pilate, St. Paul) as well as lives of saints involving conflict.

29. Adolescence • An adolescent's church life either begins to wither, or can become a more personal and real experience. He should be exposed to experiences of worship made meaningful at his level. • The adolescent should begin to share in some real responsibilities of parish life. The meaning of participation in church life can be made clearer by exposing adolescents to experiences carried out on their level. • The major emphasis should be on the "why?" of moral laws. Which rules that belonged to childhood can be discarded, and which ones remain valid?

30. Adolescence • Understanding of Church: Adolescents have a strong emotional desire to be independent and make their own decisions, leading to a resentful attitude towards parents and adult authority in general. The teen needs "security in freedom," so the Church has to be protective without being repressive. Under the best of circumstances, the Church means to adolescents sympathetic adults whom they love and respect. Occasionally they begin to feel a deeper closeness to God during the church services. The sacrament of Confession becomes more difficult to approach and yet more meaningful. The problem of church pluralism is recognized and causes confusion.

31. Adolescence • Understanding of God: God is conceived in more abstract and spiritual terms. Divine communication is thought of rather as internal, subjective in the person receiving it. Yet the less intellectually mature students cling to their childish concepts. Many even stop thinking about religion before they consciously reject it. Content of much religious teaching is felt to be "childish." • Understanding of prayer: Adolescents are able to recognize the effect of prayer on the one who prays. Personal prayer, no longer imposed by parental discipline, is often given up as a daily habit, but occasional prayers can be sincere and deep.

32. Adolescence • Understanding of Symbolism: Religious symbolism, whether in liturgical services, in narratives or in doctrine, can be fully understood, especially towards the end of adolescence. Rational thought and symbolism can fruitfully complement each other in the presentation of Christian doctrine. • Understanding of Moralism: Tendency to discard moral standards determined by approval or disapproval of adults. Interest in discovering one's own standard of right and wrong.

33. Adolescence Ideas for teaching: • Thoughts about God can be clarified and nurtured by the study of biblical passages, both Old and New Testaments, about the action of God in the life of individuals. • The study of individual lives of saints (Paul, Seraphim of Sarov, Gregory Palamas) in whose lives God's action can be perceived. • Symbolism of the sacraments can now be studied not just as external rites, but as images of the meaning of the sacrament. • Study of church history can provide some understanding of the church situation today.

34. Adolescence • Teenage retreats, with a complete daily cycle of worship involving their participation, are beneficial at this stage. • Other ideas: join the choir, duties during worship, volunteer work for church, other methods of being involved. • Another idea is to have adolescents compose prayers of their own, or re-word some of the liturgical prayers that are hard to understand (for personal use). • Teaching content at this stage could include a study of short passages on prayer from the writings of Church Fathers and modern Orthodox writers.

35. Sources • Koulomzin, Sophie. Our Church and Our Children. St. Vladimir's Seminary Press, Crestwood, NY, 1975. • Sister Magdalen. Children in the Church Today. St. Vladimir's Seminary Press, Crestwood, NY, 1991. • Articles by Melissa K. Tsongranis • “Attaching to God—Falling in Love” • “Beginning With God” • “Spiritual Development: Climbing the Ladder to Christ”