BULLYING: Mitigation & Response

1. BULLYING: Mitigation & Response Presented By: The Mississippi Department of Education Division of School Safety

2. SO WHAT IS “BULLYING”? • Punching, shoving, and other acts that hurt people physically. • Attempting to physically or mentally intimidate others. • Spreading bad rumors about people. • Keeping certain people out of a group. • Teasing people in a mean way. • Getting certain people to “gang up” on others.

3. What IS “CYBER BULLYING”? Definition: Bullying on-line or electronically, using the Internet, mobile phones, or other technology. This includes: Sending mean text, e-mail, or instant messages. • Posting nasty pictures or messages about others on blog sites; My Space / Face Book • Using someone else’s user name to spread rumors or lies about someone.

4. DO YOU BULLY OTHERS? “Truth Time” have you? • Shoved, punched, or pushed someone in a mean way just because you felt like it? • Had someone else hurt someone you don’t like? • Spread a nasty rumor about someone? • You and your friends have kept someone from playing with you? • Teased people in a mean way, calling them names, making fun of the way they look or dress? • Been part of a group that did these things? • Mentally or physically intimidated others?

5. EFFECTS OF BULLYING • 15-25% of students are bullied. • 15-20% of students bully others. • Students who bully are more likely to skip school, drop out, abuse alcohol and drugs, and get into trouble with the law. • Some students who are bullied, skip school and are afraid to come to school.

6. Do adults engage in bullying behavior? • 37% of the total work force has been bullied at some point in their career. • Workplace bullying includes: • Incivility • Persistently criticizing work, mistakes, spreading gossip, exclusion, insulting habits, attitudes, private life • Interpersonal conflict The office bully is often the boss. Employers ignore workplace bullying because they can.

7. Myths about bullying! • Bullies have low self esteem. • Bullies are rejected by peers and have no friends. • Being a victim builds character. • Being a victim will yield a violent teen. • Bullying affects only the bully and the victim.

8. Facts about bullying • Bullying is as pervasive among adults as among children. • There is a “victim profile”. • Can be predicted. • Increases with age. • Bullies are viewed as “cool” by peers. • Bullies are generally larger, stronger and more physically attractive than their victims. • Bullying education program don’t work and may increase it. • Zero tolerance doesn’t work.

9. “BULLYING” IS AGAINST THE LAW You Can Be Arrested!!!!!

10. “BULLYING” IS AGAINSTTHE LAW • SEC. 37-11-55. Code of Student Conduct. • SEC. 97-3-85. Threats and Intimidation By Letter or Notice • SEC. 97-17-67. Malicious Mischief • SEC. 97-45-15. Cyber Stalking • SEC. 97-45-17. Posting Messages through Electronic Media for the Purpose of Causing Injury to any Persons

11. WHAT YOU CAN DO • Always tell an adult. • Stay in a group. • If it feels safe, try to stand up to the person who is bullying you (YELL “LEAVE MEALONE”). • If you are being bullied online, DO NOTREPLY. • Join clubs or take part in activities to meet new kids.

12. Fighting Back • Is not politically correct. • Can lead to injury. • Can result in disciplinary action. • Can often be successful. • Can help self esteem. • Is often based on the moral values of the parent. • Explain to the parent/student that sometimes you have to pay a price for what you personally believe is ethical behavior.

13. What causes bullying behavior? • Natural need to establish a “pecking” order. • To control the environment. • To establish group dominance. • To conform to group norms. • It’s fun to be dominant in the group. • MICE

14. Primary Human Motivators • Money • Ideology • Conscience • Ego

15. Why do kids support the bully? • To fit in and conform with group behavior. • Fear of retribution by the bully or group. • It boosts self esteem not to be the lowest in the food chain. • Relief that that they are not the victim. • Ethical/moral behavior such as justice, absolute right/wrong and the need to defend the weak/innocent is no longer stressed and taught. • Ask kids who their heroes are; You will be surprised.

16. What is the victim profile? • Pleasers: Victims NEED to PLEASE and will do whatever it takes to be accepted; including being abused, humiliated, or bullied. • Compliant: Victims like to FOLLOW the RULES, not make waves, make sure they do not get in trouble with any authority figure. • Afraid: Victims are afraid; often fearful of many things, but especially AFRAID OF CONFRONTATION. Any sort of conflict makes them miserable. • Avoidant: Victims avoid eye contact; they AVOID NEW or UNCOMFY situations; they have difficulty adapting and therefore try to keep things familiar. • Very Sensitive: Victims may be TOO SENSITIVE, aware of every nuance, and may misinterpret words or cues. They are NOT RESILIENT, not able to let things roll off. • Socially Isolated: Victims may have few friends, no group to hang out with. They may be SOCIALLY AWKWARD. • Shy and Quiet: Victims may have SOCIAL ANXIETY DISORDER which means that they are painfully shy or anxious in social situations; to the degree that it impairs their ability to function. • Language Problems: Victims often have TROUBLE TALKING because they have problems remembering words, have a shallow amount of information to share, or because they have an undiagnosed language impairment which inhibits their ability to express themselves. • Depressed: Victims are often VERY UNHAPPY. They may have been depressed before the bullying started, and then they become more depressed because of the bullying.

17. The response continuum. Do nothing Tell someone Respond verbally Respond Physically Flee Questions the interventionist should ask and observe: In what context did the bullying take place? Were the victim’s social skills appropriate to the situation? What was the apparent motivation of the bully?

18. What can parents do? • Model assertive behavior. • Constantly provide verbal and non verbal signals it is OK for the child to defend themselves and their body space. • Teach kids to be good reporters of what happens to themselves and others. • Teach appropriate social behavior.

19. TELL AN ADULT Adults can help.

20. DON’T • DON’T think it is your fault, NOBODY DESERVES TO BE BULLIED. • DON’T keep it to yourself, TELL SOMEONE. • DON’T skip school or avoid activities because you are afraid, YOU HAVE THERIGHT TO BE THERE. • DON’T think you are a “tattle tale”, IT ISTHE RIGHT THING TO DO.

21. ARE YOU A BYSTANDER? The next time you see or hear someone getting bullied, there are great things you can do: • Report the bullying to an adult. • Support the person who is being bullied. • Stand up to the person who is bullying, (If you feel safe or just tell an adult.)

22. DO YOU BULLY OTHERS? • Think about how it affects others. • Put yourself in their shoes. • Think about how it must make them feel. • JUST DON’T DO IT. Talk to an adult, making other people feel bad should never make you feel good. If it does talk to an adult about it. They can help.

23. REFERENCES • Dr. Albert Mehrabian, Psychology Today • Drs. Gabriel and Nilli Raam, Laboratory for Scientific Interviewing, Tel Aviv, Israel. • SA Clint Van Zant, Agent Profiling Course, Behavioral Science Unit, FBI Academy, Quantico, VA. • Denied Area Operations Course, Camp Perry, VA. • The Gentle Art of Interviewing, Robert F. Royal and Steven R. Schutt. • Sandy Herchcovis, 7th International Conference on Work, Stress and Health. • Dr. Clark McGowan, Rush University Medical Center, Oakland, CA.

24. For More Information Mississippi Department of Education School Safety Division Robert O. Laird, CFE, CSSD Director rlaird@mde.k12.ms.us Inspector Don Criswell, CSRO Deputy Director dcriswell@mde.k12.ms.us 601-359-1028