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Chapter Outline. Developing a Smooth Flow of Communication Communication Skills Men and Women: Do They Speak the Same Language? Communication and Family Conflict Family Life in the Information Age. Communication .
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Chapter Outline • Developing a Smooth Flow of Communication • Communication Skills Men and Women: Do They Speak the Same Language? • Communication and Family Conflict • Family Life in the Information Age
Communication • Communication is the sending and receiving of messages, intentional and unintentional, verbal and nonverbal. • Communication is basic to every human relationship.
Factors Related to Communication: • Trusting and confiding in one another • Trying new ways to deal with problems • Working together to solve problems • Expressing caring and affection for each other daily
Factors Related to Communication: • At least one family member talking to his/her parents regularly • Sharing feelings and concerns with close friends • Parents spending time with teenagers for private talks • Checking in and out with each other
Good communication • Helps minimize hostilities • Conflict management is essential to all intimate relationships • A person whose lack of communication skills finally leads to the demise of their marriage will soon find that any new relationship is also in trouble
Communication failure • When communication is not accomplishing what it is suppose to. • People seek pleasure and avoid pain • It is important to try to avoid negative thoughts and communicate in a positive manner
The Foundation Blocks of Successful Communication • Commitment: The partners must be committed to make their relationship healthy and strong. • Couples often seek marriage counseling to late and so much pain and suffering have occurred that the commitment is destroyed • Principal of least interest
The Foundation Blocks of Successful Communication • Growth orientation: The partners must accept the fact that their relationship will always be dynamic and changing, rather than static.
The Foundation Blocks of Successful Communication • Noncoercive atmosphere: The partners must feel free to be themselves, to be open, and to be honest. • This cannot exist in a one-sided, totalitarian relationship
3 types of marriages? • Laissez-faire: both partners have total freedom of choice and action • Democratic: shared responsibility and authority • Autocratic: both have responsibilities but authority is assigned to a single leader
Communication Skills • Communication Motivation: A felt need to communicate • Communication Skill: The ability to accomplish one’s communication goals • Communication Behavior: Verbal and nonverbal actions that a person takes to accomplish his/ her goals
Identifying Problem Ownership Clarifying responsibility, or problem ownership, is an important first step in problem-solving communication.
Self-assertion Self-assertion is the process of recognizing and expressing one’s feelings, opinions, and attitudes while remaining aware of the feelings and needs of others.
You-, I-, and We-Statements • You statements are least effective in problem solving situations. • Tend to create distance between people by placing blame on the other • Create and maintain an adversarial “I versus you or them” relationship
You-, I-, and We-Statements • I statements locate the feelings or concerns inside the person who is making the statement, rather than placing the problem on the other partner • Less apt to provoke resistance • The other person however has been made aware that he/she is the cause of the other persons discontent
You-, I-, and We-Statements • We statements place the problem in the group or relationship rather than on one of the individuals in the relationship • Center the problem in both persons or in the group, places responsibility on both people
Empathic Listening Empathy means not only understanding what the speaker is saying, but also responding to and feeling the speaker’s nonverbal communications and emotions.
Empathic Listening • Focus on the person who is talking • Nonjudgmental and accepting • Lets the speaker know that the listener hears and cares • Listen fully not selectively
Nonverbal Communication If we are to be good listeners, part of our attention needs to be directed to the nonverbal communications of the speaker, often referred to as body language.
Nonverbal communication • Emotions are reflected throughout the body • Hand gestures • Eye contact/avoidance of • Very descriptive of a persons feelings • Bodily expressions • Facial expressions • Personal space
Negotiating In negotiation, the partners alternate between self-assertion and empathic listening.
How women and men communicate • Page 140, lets go over this
Conflict-Causing Communication Strategies • Denial: when one partner does not acknowledge the problem. • Disqualification: when the person intends to cover an emotion and deny that a real conflict exists.
Conflict-Causing Communication Strategies • Displacement: the person places emotional reactions somewhere other than the real conflict source. • Disengagement: family members avoid conflict simply by avoiding one another.
Conflict-Causing Communication Strategies • Pseudomutuality: Family members appear to be perfectly happy and delighted with each other. In this style of anger, no hint of discord is ever allowed to spoil the image of perfection.
5 negative types of couple interaction • Contempt- indicating one partner is inferior or undesirable • Criticism- making disapproving judgments about one’s partner • Defensiveness- not listening, but defending oneself against attack
stonewalling- refusing to listen to a partners complaints • Belligerence- being provocative challenging a partner’s power and authority
Anger • Mild anger episodes can strengthen relationships in some cases • Constructive anger can alert a person to a problem in the relationship (i.u,we statements) • Repressing anger over a long period of time can lead to emotional detachment and indifference
Topics of Conflict Handling money, dividing household tasks, relative relationships, jobs, social activities, alcohol use, moodiness, handling anger, and children all appear to be possible areas of conflict for many couples.
1. The ability to accomplish one’s communication goals is • Communication Behavior • Communication Motivation • Communication Skill • Commitment
Answer: c • The ability to accomplish one’s communication goals is called communication skill.
2. According to the text, this is basic to every human relationship. • Commitment • Growth • Trust • Communication
Answer: d • Communication is basic to every human relationship.
3. The process of recognizing and expressing one’s feelings, opinions, and attitudes while remaining aware of the feelings and needs of others is • Commitment • Self-assertion • Communication • Problem Ownership
3. The process of recognizing and expressing one’s feelings, opinions, and attitudes while remaining aware of the feelings and needs of others is • Commitment • Self-assertion • Communication • Problem Ownership