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Loneliness & Solitude. Chapter 11. Discuss. What is the difference between loneliness and being alone? When have you felt alone when there were other people around you? When have you NOT felt lonely, even if no other people were around?. Discuss.
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Loneliness & Solitude Chapter 11
Discuss • What is the difference between loneliness and being alone? • When have you felt alone when there were other people around you? When have you NOT felt lonely, even if no other people were around?
Discuss • For you, what are the benefits of being alone? • When you’re alone, how do you usually feel? • What do you do with this time?
Solitude • Solitude is typically something we choose for ourselves • In solitude, we make time to be with ourselves and to discover who we are • Solitude provides an opportunity for renewal • Through solitude we are able to examine our lives and gain a sense of perspective
Discuss • How can solitude be an avenue toward personal growth? • How can solitude provide us with the opportunity to gain a perspective on our lives?
Discuss • Think of relationships you have that are special to you. Do you ever feel alone even when you are with these special people? • Have you experienced being lonely in a crowd? What is this feeling like?
Loneliness • Often results from certain events in life such as: • Death of someone we love • The decision to leave a secure job for an unknown one • Moving to a new city • A long stay in a hospital • An experience of feeling set apart from others • Can indicate that we’ve failed to listen to our inner voice
Discuss • Think of a time in your life when you were particularly lonely. What was this like for you? • Did you experience loneliness as a child or an adolescent? If so, describe briefly what it was like for you, and mention how it may have an impact on you now.
Types of Loneliness • Transient loneliness • Brief feelings of loneliness when there is a disruption in one’s social network • Chronic loneliness • When people are unable to establish meaningful interpersonal relationships over a long period of time
Types of Loneliness • Everyday loneliness • The pain of being isolated from other people, which may be related to fears of intimacy, rejection, or shame • Existential loneliness • A profound sense of an unbridgeable gap that separates us from others, which is related to our awareness that each of us inhabits a world fully known only to ourselves
Discuss • How do some people create their own loneliness through shyness? What is shyness? How common a problem is it? • Has shyness ever been a problem in your life? If so, how have you attempted to cope with it?
Ways People Attempt to Escape from Facing Loneliness • Living an overscheduled life • Striving for perfect control of the environment • Surrounding ourselves with people • Becoming a slave to routine • Numbing ourselves with alcohol or drugs • Eating for emotional reasons • Spending many hours on the computer, watching T.V., playing video games
Discuss • What are some specific ways through which you escape loneliness, being alone, and experiencing solitude? What is the price of this escape? • Can you tolerate being alone, or do you find ways to escape encountering yourself? If you find it difficult to enjoy yourself, do you think others will too?
Exercise • Take the “shyness quiz” on page321 of your book.
Some Consequences of Shyness • Can make it difficult to communicate effectively and express oneself • Often holds people back from meeting new people • May result in feelings of depression, anxiety, and loneliness • Can hold people back in the progression of their educations or careers • Leads some individuals to develop a dependency on alcohol as a way to feel more relaxed and sociable
Loneliness and the Life Stages • CHILDHOOD • Loneliness is an inevitable part of life beginning in childhood • Reliving childhood experiences of loneliness can help adults come to grips with their present fears about being alone or lonely • ADOLESCENCE • Bodily changes, one’s search for identity, and the need to be accepted and liked may compound an adolescent’s feelings of loneliness • The price of nonconformity may be steep; Adolescents may feel all alone in the world
Loneliness and the Life Stages • YOUNG ADULTHOOD • How young adults come to terms with their own aloneness effects the choices they make—choices that, in turn, may determine the course of their lives • Life circumstances and cultural factors also pave the way to a lonely existence • MIDDLE AGE • Changes at midlife such as children leaving the nest can lead to feelings of emptiness and loss • Feeling dissatisfied with one’s career or life choices can exacerbate loneliness
Loneliness and the Life Stages • THE LATER YEARS • In a society that prizes productivity, youth, beauty, power, and vitality, older adults may feel they are not needed or valued anymore • Loneliness of the later years can be accentuated by the losses that come with age: • Loss of bodily functions • Loss of career or jobs • Loss of certain hobbies • Loss of friends and loved ones