SELF AWARENESS MODEL(SAM) JOHNNETTA MCSWAIN, BS, MSW

1. SELF AWARENESS MODEL(SAM) JOHNNETTA MCSWAIN, BS, MSW

2. Self Awareness Model (SAM) • The Self Awareness 12-step model is for women of all races, cultures, and backgrounds. • It is used as a set of guiding principles to encourage, promote, and empower women to break away from unresolved traumatic life experiences. johnnetta@breaking-the-cycle.com

3. What we know… • This 12-Step Program is a set of guiding principles for recovery from addictive, compulsive behavioral problems. johnnetta@breaking-the-cycle.com

4. This Self Awareness Model… • Will help women from all backgrounds become self aware of breaking their negative cycles and beating the odds they may face in their daily lives. johnnetta@breaking-the-cycle.com

5. SAM • The SAM fosters self awareness of inner strengths and makes use of them to overcome childhood traumas, physical and mental abuse, as well as feelings of anger and self-hate. johnnetta@breaking-the-cycle.com

6. SAM is Built upon 4 Absolutes These absolutes encapsulate spiritual, moral, and teaching practices for personal change and enable those who embrace it to heal and overcome negative scripts, or personal stories, in life. johnnetta@breaking-the-cycle.com

7. The Four Absolutes are Built upon Personal Insight and Absolute Candor • Absolute Honesty--- no half truths, no denials, no skimming. In other words, total honesty with oneself • Absolute Purity--- clear vision, clear heart, clear emotions. In other words, pure and factual reality johnnetta@breaking-the-cycle.com

8. Absolute Unselfishness--- acting upon what is right rather than what is wanted. In other words, not letting personal weaknesses and desires cloud what is the right thing to do. • Absolute Love--- uphold thy body, trust thyself and demand respect. In other words, hold thyself in highest esteem and embrace spiritual support johnnetta@breaking-the-cycle.com

9. The Self Awareness Model is grounded in the Theory of Planned Behavior (TpB) or Reasoned Action Model, which was formed in 1980 by Ajzen and Fishbein as the Theory of Reasoned Action (TRA). johnnetta@breaking-the-cycle.com

10. Using an example, let’s explore the Conceptual Model for SAM Example: Wanting to change mybehavior of manipulation.In thisexample, theaction(control/self gratification),thetarget(male), and the time frame(duration ofrelationship)are specified, but thecontext (any place, any time, event, situation, etc.) is not. johnnetta@breaking-the-cycle.com

11. Human action is guided by three kinds of considerations: • beliefs about the likely outcomes of the behavior and the evaluations of theseoutcomes(behavioral beliefs) – “I will get anything I want if I manipulate others” • beliefs about the normative expectations of others and motivation to comply withthese expectations(normative beliefs) – “If you want something get it any way you can, love equals getting what you want” johnnetta@breaking-the-cycle.com dashko@aol.com narolds@msn.com

12. beliefs about the presence of factors that may facilitate or impede performance of the behavior and the perceived power of these factors(control beliefs) – “I will play him and he will fall in love with me” [which will lead to me receiving expensive gifts, trips. clothes, money, etc] Johnnetta@breaking-the-cycle.com

13. Behavioral Beliefs Attitude toward the Behavior Intention Behavior Normative Beliefs Subjective Norm Actual Behavioral Control Control Beliefs Perceived Behavioral Control johnnetta@breaking-the-cycle.com dashko@aol.com narolds@msn.com

14. The 12 Steps of the SAM Becoming self aware and admitting there are cycles in our life Family Generational Cycle -Intimate relationship -Friendship cycle -Environment cycle -Victim blaming cycle -Mental cycle Abuse (sexual, mental, physical, self) Education Drugs johnnetta@breaking-the-cycle.com

15. johnnetta@breaking-the-cycle.com Intimate Relationship Cycle • Attracting the wrong/same kind of men • Needy/can’t say NO • Staying in a bad relationship • “But, this is my baby’s daddy” • Too giving • “But, we have been together so long” • “It’s too hard to find a man” • “He will change”

16. Friendship Cycle Same old kind of friends Jealous friends Good friends/Bad friends/Childhood friends How to be a friend Choosing friends New friends johnnetta@breaking-the-cycle.com

17. johnnetta@breaking-the-cycle.com dashko@aol.com narolds@msn.com Environmental Cycle • Product of your environment • Because this is the way I was raised/taught/family tradition • Relocating from your environment (drugs, violence) • Better neighborhood/community housing • Better opportunities (school, career, positive experiences, and quality of life)

18. Victim Blaming Cycle “Because this happened to me I can’t” “It’s your fault/ if it wasn’t for you” “Nobody loves me anyway” “Nobody has never done anything for me” “The world owes me” “The MAN got me down” “I can’t do it; why should I do it” johnnetta@breaking-the-cycle.com dashko@aol.com narolds@msn.com

19. johnnetta@breaking-the-cycle.com Mental Cycle • Discover the traumas buried deep down inside us • Be able to forgive unconditionally in order to gain closure and move on • Let go of the past and everybody that is involved in it • Think positive; surround yourself with positiveness • Failure should be not an option

20. Mental Cycle Stop holding on to hate and revenge; it will keep you down Stop being the victim; you are your own biggest enemy Stop blaming yourself for things out of your control Stop re-living your childhood! It is said, “You can not do anything about your childhood but you can do something about your adulthood” johnnetta@breaking-the-cycle.com dashko@aol.com narolds@msn.com

21. Mental Cycle • Change your way of thinking; if you do not change your mental environment you can not change your physical environment. • Think positive; surround yourself with positiveness • Failure should not be an option • Stop running from reality it will catch up with you when you least expect

22. Becoming self aware of your environment If you never leave your environment you stay the same and do the same If you can not see outside of your environment you will remain stuck

23. 3.Becoming self aware that you do not have to be the victim You were beaten, sexually assaulted, mistreated, or not loved You didn’t finish school, you are not smart, you can’t can’t keep up. It’s just too hard You are not as strong as someone else You have children You have no help or support

24. Becoming self aware that you do not have to be POOR Your entire family is poor You make minimum wages; you are struggling to make ends meet “Going to school is a waste of time; what good is a degree” “Somebody has to be poor” “I do not need to be rich” johnnetta@breaking-the-cycle.com

25. Becoming self aware that you do not have to be what people say you are going to be “You will never be anything” “Nobody wants you, but me” “You will never change” “You will be back; you will not make it” “I failed; so will you” You are not good enough/smart enough “You are just dreaming; it’s not possible” “Nobody I know has accomplished anything”

26. Becoming self aware there are injustices in the world but that we can still rise above these obstacles and become successful You are a woman You are a woman of color You did not finish school You do not fit in You are poor You can not attend the best schools/universities/colleges Society says you can’t

27. Becoming self aware that we are women of strength who stand for survival, empowerment, motherhood, leadership, love, nurturing, beauty, respect, and courage to overcome anything You had children out of wedlock You have had children with more than one man You’re living off the “System” (welfare, food stamps/Section 8/projects/Medicaid, etc. You have been in bad/violent relationships You have been incarcerated

28. 7. Becoming self aware that we are women of strength who stand for survival, empowerment, motherhood, leadership, love, nurturing, beauty, respect, and courage to overcome anything You do not fit the description of a model You are too fat, dark, tall, short, ugly, slow You have been evicted/ jobless/ car less You have lost all hope You didn’t grow up with two parents, good parents or any parents You didn’t grow up with a silver spoon in your mouth

29. Becoming self aware of your worth You are are beautiful You deserve to be loved You are raising your children the best you can/ the best you know how! You don’t need a man to complete you, lay down next to you or provide for you financially You don’t need a man to define you

30. Becoming self aware of your worth You are a survivor You do not have to accept anything less than the best for you You deserve R-E-S-P-E-C-T You should be treated like the queen you are

31. Becoming self aware of your fear of failing or success Because I might just be successful; then what? What good is it going to do me anyway? “I am afraid of what people will think or say about me” “I am too old; there’s no hope for me” “I am not smart enough”

32. Becoming self aware of your fear of failing or success “I have been at my job so long; I can’t do anything else” “I have too many bills” “I don’t have the time” “I don’t need an education” “I already have enough; I am fine”

33. Becoming self aware of negative influences in your life Yourself Bad thinking Bad environment Bad family members Bad friends Bad relationships Bad job

34. Becoming self aware of change “I don’t want/need to change” “I like it just the way it is” “It’s too hard to find a good man/job” “It is easier to live off the System” Changing your attitude; your way of thinking Change is good Life brings changes “I have been like this all my life” You don’t have to face reality it will face you It’s never too late to change; you are never too old to change

35. 12. Becoming self aware of your inner strength to change your past, to overcome traumatic obstacles, and to break barriers of self destruction You don’t have to continue your path of self destruction You don’t have to repeat your past cycles You don’t have to breed hate and anger You do not need to be an abuser because you were abused You don’t have to give up and die Life goes on Happiness is obtainable

36. Becoming self aware of your inner strength to change your past, to overcome traumatic obstacles, and to break barriers of self destruction Love is real -Forgiveness is divine Hope is alive - Success and prosperity is reachable Dreams are achievable -Believing is receiving Attitude is King in the battle to success -Life is worth living and you can live well!!!