MilitaryChild

1. 2013 AWAG Annual Conference Living in the New Normal: The Unique Military Factors & Compounding Factors of Transition and Change for Everyone www.MilitaryChild.org Brenda Coffield

2. Living in the New Normal: The Unique Military Factors & Compounding Factors of Transition and Change for Everyone Presenter: Brenda Coffield Military Child Education Coalition (MCEC) Europe Program Manager Heidelberg, Germany Brenda.coffield@militarychild.org brenda.coffield@militarychild.org www.MilitaryChild.org

3. Living in the New Normal: The Unique Military Factors & Compounding Factors of Transition and Change for Everyone • Fact: • Military and civilian families working in a military setting face unique challenges on a day to day basis. • Deployment continues • Families continue to move from one installation to another, often from one country to another, e.g. Germany to Italy. • Installations are closing • Along with these changes brings additional unique compounding factors for the adult as well as the child. brenda.coffield@militarychild.org www.MilitaryChild.org

4. Living in the New Normal: The Unique Military Factors & Compounding Factors of Transition and Change for Everyone This session will focus on identifying the unique military factors and compounding factors associated with transition and changes. Once defined, how to best address these challenges. brenda.coffield@militarychild.org www.MilitaryChild.org

5. Starting Point >>>>>>> • Identify the Unique and Compounding Factors Related to Transition and Change brenda.coffield@militarychild.org www.MilitaryChild.org

6. Living in the New Normal: The Unique Military Factors & Compounding Factors of Transition and Change for Everyone • What are unique military factors and compounding factors related to the process of transition and change: • for the adult? • for the military-connected children? brenda.coffield@militarychild.org www.MilitaryChild.org

7. Brenda.Coffield@militarychild.org 7 www.MilitaryChild.org

8. Living in the New Normal: The Unique Military Factors & Compounding Factors of Transition and Change for Everyone • Compounding factors for the adult and child: • Deployment in conjunction with move • Language barriers as a result of the move • Geographic dispersion of families • Transportation and relocation • Loss of a community • Loss of job • Loss of military culture and peers; traditions • Change in family structure; some children live with extended family members brenda.coffield@militarychild.org www.MilitaryChild.org

9. ATTITUDE??? What’s Attitude Got To Do With Handling Life Changes / Challenges? Brenda.Coffield@militarychild.org 9 www.MilitaryChild.org

10. Attitude: The difference between success and failure Brenda.Coffield@militarychild.org 10 www.MilitaryChild.org

11. Living in the New Normal: The Unique Military Factors & Compounding Factors of Transition and Change for Everyone Understanding Transition and Change (illness) by age groups: • Toddlers test rules, set consistent boundaries daily rituals allow anticipation and predictability, helps the child to feel safe, secure, settled. This is an especially important time, usually not worried about parent’s illness.  • Pre-schoolers are egocentric, impulsive, exhibit immature logic, lack of reasoning. Confusion between fantasy and logic. Can often lead to Magical Thinking. Important to set limits, consistent, loving, structured environment (routine). • Elementary (7-12 years) Learning new skills activities outside family, need intensive support at home that is steady for child to feel safe and secure. Rules are important. Often consider situations “Not Fair,” because they expect everyone to follow the “Rules.” “Be creative about second-best plans.” Look for small things that can be “controlled.” Gaining competence and self-confidence to weather life’s challenges. Learning to express full range of emotions. • Adolescent going through dramatic developmental changes to body, cognitive abilities. Begin to consider abstract consequences. Decisions more emotional than common sense. Peer pressure, temptations, identity development, conflicting emotions, strive for independence. Connection between parent-teen is critical, home as a safe-haven. Cannot assume executive responsibility in the home. Seek professional help if warning signs detected, be attentive to changes. • Late teens, young adults often developing. The serious intimate relations, emotional absorption. Need parents to be available, trusted sounding board, stabilizing force. Teens often compartmentalize grief, may display delayed responses to the death of a loved one. Be aware of the reactions that college-aged siblings may have. Brenda.Coffield@militarychild.org 11 www.MilitaryChild.org

12. Resources • Organizations: • Military One Source www.MilitaryoneSource.com : A 24/7 clearinghouse of resources for military members, spouses and families • Military Child Education Coalition (MCEC) www.militarychild.org : A 501(c)(3) nonprofit worldwide-organization, it focuses on ensuring quality educational opportunities for all military-connected affected by mobility, family separation, and transition. MCEC has an abundance of outstanding programs for educators, students and communities. • National Military Families Association www.militaryfamily.org : A program that advocates for military families politically, offers free Operation Purple Camps for youth, and has scholarships for military spouses. Has an excellent document created by military teens titled, “We serve, too. A Toolkit about Military Teens.” • Dads at a Distance, Moms Over Miles, and Grandparents From a Distance www.daads.com : Offered by the National Long Distance Relationship Building Institute, these programs strive to maintain and strengthen relationships with children and grandchildren while military personnel are absent from home. Sample activities include “20 Activities” and weekly e-mail reminders brenda.coffield@militarychild.org

13. Resources For Military-Connected Children and Youth • SchoolQuest www.schoolquest.org is an online free educational resource tool from the Military Child Education Coalition. Although the primary audience includes military students and their parents, SchoolQuest is well-suited to anyone “questing” information about schools, college and workplace readiness, transition, and more. • Talk, Listen, Connect: Deployments, Homecomings, Changes, Grief www.sesameworkshop.org/initiatives/emotion/tlc are free Sesame Street DVDs for families with youth ages 2-5. Also available through Military One Source. • Your Military Family Network www.emilitary.org : Your Connection to Military Friendly Resources, Benefits, Information, Businesses and Advice • A Handbook for Family & Friends of Service Members Before, During and After Deployment by DEFENSE CENTERS OF EXCELLENCE for Psychological Health & Traumatic Brain Injury brenda.coffield@militarychild.org

14. Living in the New Normal: The Unique Military Factors & Compounding Factors of Transition and Change for Everyone What’s in the bag? On The Move Magazine Talk Listen Connect ( Getting Your Ducklings in a Row Chart Your Course: Preparing for the Future How to prepare our children and stay involved in their education during deployment… brenda.coffield@militarychild.org www.MilitaryChild.org

15. Living in the New Normal: The Unique Military Factors & Compounding Factors of Transition and Change for Everyone Are you better equipped to address this “New Normal” as it relates to transition and change for everyone? brenda.coffield@militarychild.org www.MilitaryChild.org

16. QUESTIONS • AND • DISCUSSIONS brenda.coffield@militarychild.org www.MilitaryChild.org

17. …for the sake of the child CFC #10261 brenda.coffield@militarychild.org