Say No to bullying!

1. Say No to bullying! Staffroom activities

2. A primary school boy left this message in his diary before taking his own life. • ‘I decided to kill myself because day after day I go to school and only bad things happen. • Nothing good ever happens to me. • If the kids in my class could be in my shoes they would understand how I feel. If only they knew how I feel every day. • Even in my dreams there are nothing but bad things. The only one I can talk to is the hamster, but the hamster can’t speak back. • Maybe my being born was a mistake. • I can’t stop the tears now. • There was one, only one thing I wanted while I was alive, a friend I could talk to, really talk to from the heart. • Just one friend like that, only one, was all I wanted.’ Say No to bullying!

3. Bullying happens in every school and its effects are often serious and long-term. • Recent national surveys suggest that over half of all primary school children think that bullying is ‘a big problem’ or ‘quite a problem’ in their school. Just over half of Year 5 children reported that they had been bullied during the term covered by the survey: this figure was much higher than that for secondary-aged children. • Research demonstrates that proactive approaches, such as the ‘anti-bullying’ week suggested here, can reduce significantly the number of incidents of bullying. Say No to bullying!

4. It is important to note that often when schools start to work proactively and explicitly in the area of bullying there is an initial and temporary increase in the number of reported incidents of bullying. • Staff need to be aware of this and should not see it as an actual increase in bullying incidents. • It is also essential that staff are prepared to deal effectively with the increasing incidents of bullying that may be reported as a result of the ‘anti-bullying’ week. Say No to bullying!

5. Activity 1: characteristics of bullying • In most definitions of bullying, there are three key characteristics. These are that bullying is: • 1. ongoing (it is not the same as conflict between two equals or random unprovoked aggressive acts); • 2. deliberate; • 3. unequal – it involves a power imbalance (this can result from size, number, higher status, or as a result of having access to limited resources). Say No to bullying!

6. Sometimes, one particular form of bullying is put forward as worse than the others (usually when it involves physical hurt). • The view taken in these materials is that the severity or otherwise of any bullying can only be judged by its effect on the person experiencing the bullying. • From this perspective, ‘a look across the room’ or a roll of the eyes to a third party can be as devastating as any other form of bullying. Say No to bullying!

7. Activity 2: What does it feel like to be bullied? • Think back to a time when you may have witnessed bullying. • Share your thoughts in pairs about: • The person being bullied • The witness • The aggressor Say No to bullying!

8. 3. A Safe School. • What is it? • Is our school safe? • How can we improve it? • How will we know it is safe? Say No to bullying!

9. Activity 4: language used • The terminology used throughout the materials includes:person (or child) who is bullied, target of bullying (rather than ‘victim’); • witness or bystander; • person doing the bullying/using bullying behaviours (rather than ‘bully’). Say No to bullying!

10. Research suggests that many ‘perfectly nice’ and popular children use bullying behaviours on occasions, and many are unaware of the devastating impact which their behaviour has on the children they target. • It would also seem that anyone could become a target of bullying if the context allows this to happen. Say No to bullying!

11. 5 Discuss • Why do children (people) bully? • What examples can I give of the ‘power’ differential aspect of bullying? • Shouldn’t we be ‘skilling up’ children who are bullied to be less vulnerable by teaching them assertiveness and social skills? • What if children’s parents tell them to ‘hit back’ or ‘stand up for themselves’ when they are bullied? • What about the problem of racist, sexist, homophobic or other discriminatory attitudes that children might encounter in their communities or at home? • How do I explain the difference between ‘telling tales’, ‘grassing someone up’, or ‘dropping someone in it’, and ‘telling’ on bullying? • Why do people often not tell about bullying? Say No to bullying!

12. Kingsway Infants says No to bullying. • Let’s all agree how we will consistently deal with bullying. • What have we learned from this session? • What do we need to do now? Say No to bullying!

13. Say No to bullying!