The Impossibilities of Marriage in Japan

1. The Impossibilities of Marriage in Japan The New Order Chapter 7 Mark Staiger, Tana Stuart, Florencia Sund

2. Hanako Girl Syndrome • Hanako Girl – An elitist egocentric girl between the ages of 20 – 29. “Slaves to fashion” who have chosen stay single longer to avoid the strenous life of a job and family like that of their mothers. • Archetype Hanako Mother • Matsude Seiko (Japanese Madona) • Went through motherhood without tarnishing her singing career • Represents a nearly impossible lifestyle to achive

3. “The institution of Marriage is under attack” • The unreasonable pressures and responsibilities of Marriage and children, in combination with the fashionable Hanako lifestyle has led to Marriage seeming less desirable. • Durring the Meji era women where quickly forced into Marriage as a means of survival. Now women are able to live on there own, a choice which is becoming more popular. • In a recent survey asking women and men about their desire to marry, 95% desired to marry. Of these 95%, 60% would only do so if they found a partner who “fit the bill” (a standard which has been set quite high) • Qualities of a husband • Ko– rich (10 million yen/year, educated, tall • Ryo – handsome, good-natured, from a good background

4. Men Impossible to Marry off • Farmers travel to South East Asia in search of wife • Toshikoshisoba- old bachelors • Miai –single individuals are introduced to each other to consider the possibility of marriage • 10% of men get as far as a miai group but no guarantee of marriage • Mixed marriages are bad in miai groups because presents linguistic or cultural problems creating communication boundary

5. Farmers Importing Foreign wives • In one village the ratio was 48 women to 209 men, 1 woman for every 4.4 men • There usually is huge age gap between husband ( 30-60 yrs) and wife(18-25yrs) • A wedding can cost 6-8 million yen a price which includes the hiring of the brides clothes, the ceremony, a night in a hotel and the honeymoon • Men marry foreigners as last resort and so they are reluctant to make the slightest effort to try and understand their culture

6. Somewhere between a beast of burden and a baby Machine • seen as 2nd class citizens • problems continue with insufferable dependence that goes with their status as illiterates • easy to make jump because all they have to do is say yes get on a plane and everything else is sorted (passport, visa, ticket) • creates cultural gap between husband and wife

7. Reasons for Foreign Bride • those who live in the country find it impossible to find a wife • Japanese women only want men who make over 10 million yen (105,000 dollars per year) • hard to find women because usually have to take care of their own parents or brothers and sisters • women dread agricultural work especially having to live with the in-laws, • the problem stems from those who put family’s interest before their own committing themselves to a life of celibacy

8. There is More to Life than Sex • Seems to be a lack of interest in sex in young people • “Not that they are not interested in sex but are not interested in all the energy required to get there. (Dinner dates ect.) So they would rather make do with porn videos.

9. The More Resourceful Blue-Collar Workers • Survey found that women knew that more education would help them financially they would often rather have less money if it meant that their husband would be home at 5pm most evenings • Men & women are waiting until their prospective ages of 27-28 and 23-24 (respectively) to get married • An economic journal found that some companies have launched a program aimed at finding spouses for their unmarried employees. • Another idea for a program was that unmarried employees be allocated mixed living quarters. A journal article found that this idea was well-received by both women and men.

10. After a Certain age, Celibacy Wears Badly • After a certain age, the single man, becomes a burden. • When men divorce they try to remarry as quickly as possible where women would rather wait. In Japan, petitions for divorce are almost always initiated by the woman. • Now marriage is no longer as appealing as it used to be. A young woman has seen the monotonous existence lived by her mother/grandmother and will delay for some time before committing herself to a life of childcare and housework. • Marriage is no longer synonymous with happiness and women are openly stating that they are not interested in a traditional gender role marriage.

11. School for Husbands: Old Bachelors Before their Time • Men’s attitudes about marriage haven’t changed as quickly as women’s. They still expect a traditional gender role household with the subservient woman and the dominant man. • Young women want a relationship based on equality where neither partner is above the other. Men, wanting to get married, have no choice but to go along with it. • This “time-lag” in man-woman evolution inspired feminist Higuchi Keiko to open a “school for men” that after 2 & 1/2 hours a week for 3 months will “teach” them the know how that will allow them to “deserve a good Japanese woman.” • The ineptitude of men when it comes to women. How to take women on a date, when to hold her hand, what to talk to her about, ect. • Men still tend to remain trapped in the traditional gender role ideals. This has led to men being in a hurry to get married where women are backing off and have less and less enthusiasm for it.

12. Waves of Rural Brides: Female Marriage in China(article) • Peasant women in poor areas are constrained by their institutional positions, rural origins and low education and status shutting them out from cities and urban labor market • Men who are socially and/or economically disadvantaged but locationally privileged are able to draw brides from afar • Marriage is a strategy by which peasant women in disadvantaged positions move to more desirable locations where they may achieve social and economic mobility • The migration of rural Chinese women into the urban areas of China is comparable to the migration of international brides into Japan