Vòng Đời

1. Vòng Đời 3. Lập gia đình 2. Lớn lên 4. Làm việc 1. Sinh ra 5. Già 6. Chết Pop Culture – Inaugural Summer

2. Introduction Why am I listening to this? What are the steps of this seminar? Pop Culture – Inaugural Summer

3. Phong Tục – Pattern of behavior of a society • Exercise 1. Think of a situation that a Viet American might do it different, in which way(s) • Sinh con • Đi học • Lấy vợ lấy chồng • Đi làm • Về già • Chết Pop Culture – Inaugural Summer

4. Old customs, why bother? • There are many things that people do and try to force them on you! • Clash of multiple cultures • If we can separate old customs into 2 groups • Customs based on deep-rooted belief • Customs based on fads • Then we can • Understand the meaning behind the customs • Stay true to the heritage • Reconcile differences between New and Old • But always be tolerant and respectful Pop Culture – Inaugural Summer

5. Viet customs surrounding birth Learn the patterns of behavior. Figure out the deep beliefs behind them At the lễ đầy tháng, offerings are made to the 12 midwives. Note everything is prepared in 12. Pop Culture – Inaugural Summer

6. Viet customs surrounding birth • Lễ Cầu Tự - pray for a child • Tránh trùng tên – don’t use ancestor’s names • Con nuôi – let your child be “adopted” by a good person • Con se – first child may be birthed at woman’s mother’s home • Benevolent supernatural force (god) ? • Disrespectful of anscestor ? • Đức (accumulated goodness) transferrable? • Establish social ties? • Practical considerations? Custom Root belief Pop Culture – Inaugural Summer

7. Viet customs on education Learn the patterns of behavior Figure out the deep belief behind them Pop Culture – Inaugural Summer

8. Viet customs on education • Cúng thầy – give presents to teacher at major holidays • Trọng Nam khinh Nữ - boys are favored over girls • Học cốt để có bằng Certificate is the goal* • Bribery? Token of appreciation? Respect for the learning system? • Best bang for the buck? Only woman can nurture a child? Woman is lost to the in-laws? • Education is means to economic survival? Knowledge per se is not important? Custom * or attitude Root belief Pop Culture – Inaugural Summer

9. Viet customs on marriage Learn the patterns of behavior Figure out the deep belief behind them A Vietnamese Traditional Wedding - Today Pop Culture – Inaugural Summer

10. Viet customs on marriage • Cha mẹ quyết định – Parents hold the marriage decision • The steps • Chạm – Introduction Khắc tuổi – astrological incompatibility? • Hỏi – Proposition Gold necklace • Cưới – Wedding Matrimony ($$$) • Ones grow into love but start with sound practical considerations? Parents are smart, kids are dumb? • Tứ hành xung. (4 of 12 astro. signs are imcompatible). Numerology! • Show of serious intent? • Buying the woman? Irreversible damage to the woman? Custom Root belief Pop Culture – Inaugural Summer

11. Viet customs on everyday life: Thờ Ông Bà* Learn the patterns of behavior Figure out the deep belief behind them * Ancestor Worship Pop Culture – Inaugural Summer

12. Viet customs on everyday life: Thờ Ông Bà • Bàn thờ có hình người thân đã chết – Altar with pictures of the dead • Khấn vái – Bow and Pray • Hoa quả và tiền giấy– Fruit offerings and joss papers • Thờ đời cha và ông – Two generations back • A memorial portrait? A deity ? • Self-assurance? Commune with the living-dead? • The spirit is around to consume? • The burnt offerings has significance beyond symbolic? Custom Root Belief Pop Culture – Inaugural Summer

13. Viet customs on every day life: Tết Learn the patterns of behavior Figure out the deep belief behind them • Tết Nguyên Đán ( Lunar Calendar New Year) • Tết Đoan Ngọ (Spring) • Tết Trung Nguyên (Summer) • Tết Trung Thu (Autumn) Pop Culture – Inaugural Summer

14. Viet customs on every day life: Tết • Tảo Mộ - Tomb sweeping • Cúng Giao Thừa – the switch-over prayer • Xông Đất – Bless the property with the presence of a good person • Mừng tuổi – Lucky money • Mồng Một Tết Cha, Mồng Hai Tết Chú, Mồng Ba Tết Thày • Anniversary visit • A new beginning • A good person brings luck and vice versa • Fun! • All three are to be honored, in that order Custom Root belief Pop Culture – Inaugural Summer

15. Viet customs regarding the Elders Learn the patterns of behavior Figure out the deep belief behind them Pop Culture – Inaugural Summer

16. Viet customs re. the Elders • Cha mẹ già ở với con trai, nuôi cháu – Parents live with son, help care for grandchildren • Taboo subject: putting parents into a “home” • No other recourse such as Social Security (but neighbors will help) • Kính lão đắc thọ - you will live long if you respect the elders • No sons? • No social safety net Custom Root belief Pop Culture – Inaugural Summer

17. Viet customs surrounding Death Learn the patterns of behavior Figure out the deep belief behind them Pop Culture – Inaugural Summer

18. Viet customs re. Death • Khóc mướn - Must express deep sorrows at funerals • Hồn có thể ở quanh – the spirit may be around • First 49 days after death crucial for deliverance • 100 days – tốt khóc – cease the tears • Appeance of sorrow is a show of love? • Universal concept of the “spirit” • Perhaps these dates are for the survived? Custom Root belief Pop Culture – Inaugural Summer

19. Viet customs – take away points First Know do these effect ME? Second understand the root belief Third respect the customs but make your own mind Pop Culture – Inaugural Summer

20. Viet customs – A quiz • Which is the best statement regarding a Viet American: • Has a foreign heritage evenif born in the US • Has a superior heritage and culture • Has to deal with supersitions and backward customs • Has no need to do what the old folks say • Which should you choose to do when forced to follow a certain Viet custom: • Analyze root belief, kick the can or bless the buddha • Understand root belief, be respectful and try to comply • Block all efforts of turning you into a FOB • Do what you are told and promise yourself never to come back • The Viet Tết is set in accordance to: • Julian calendar • BUddhist calendar • Vietnamese calendar • Lunar calendar • Why might your parent have been adopted for 3 days at birth? • He was rescued from the war zone • His mother was hoping that the adopted parent might bring some accumulated blessing • In Vietnam it costs too much to adopt for life, so 3 was the best that could be arranged • This was part of the Viet customs to strengthen an infant boy’s spirit – learn separation at birth! Pop Culture – Inaugural Summer

21. Viet customs – A quiz contd • Why might there be an altar with three portraits and incense in your home? • Parents practice woodoo on the side • Parents practice Buddhism in the main • Parents practice ancestor worship • Parents believe three is the correct number of ancestors to memorialize • What are the steps required in a Viet marriage: • Chạm, Hỏi, Cưới • Trầu Cau, Vòng vàng, $$$ • Tình Yêu, Tình Nghĩa, Tình Cha Mẹ • Cười, Hỏi, Chấm • Pick your best statement for these hupothetical cases: • My Viet father must take care of his elder parents for the rest of their lives, else he is a bad son • My Viet mother is right to put her mother into the home for the elders because she is not obligated as a daughter to take care of her • My Viet parents feel bad about comitting my grandmother to a home for the elders because the Viet society in Virginia condemns such an act • My Viet parents understood why it’s taboo to put his elders somewhere else but did it anyway because is in fact the best for everybody • According to Viet customs, which is the most correct statement • Chết là hết chuyện. The body is buried and that’s the end of that. • One must pray for 49 days before death to ward it off • The spirit may not want to leave for Heaven after death, so focus on praying, at least for 49 days • Chinese numerology dictates that the 7th day of the 7th week after death be reserved for a banquet at the Chinese restaurant Pop Culture – Inaugural Summer