Today’s Learning Objectives 11/3/11:

1. Students will be able to… • Meet or exceed the standards for English 10, 6.0. • Review teacher comments and edits on a rough draft in order to self-assess writing and make improvements. • Review prior knowledge and learn new facts about the French Revolution, Charles Dickens, and the novel A Tale of Two Cities. Today’s Learning Objectives 11/3/11: Hw: Read the article on my website about the French Revolution and A Tale of Two Cities. Complete the notes worksheet for tomorrow. “Old Milon” Essays due Monday.

2. “Old Milon” essay comments • My codes: • Awk = awkward/confusing construction (re-phrase!) • Wc = word choice (change it to clarify meaning/strengthen tone)

3. Style: • Keep the tone of your essay formal – this is an analytical piece, not a narrative! • That means you should… • NOT say “I” or “You” • Use formal language choices (no slang, clichés – ex: “Old Milon seemed like the kind of man who would not hurt a fly.”) • Remove contractions (change won’t to will not) • Refer to Tone/Analytical Verbs handout to strengthen word choices. • Write the essay in PRESENT tense: Milonkills sixteen Uhlans…When he spits in the Prussian colonel’s face…Because he hates the Germans deeply…Milonis 68 years old… • Talk about the events of the plot as if they are real, not part of a story. • Avoid “At the end of the story…” “Throughout the story…”

4. How’s Your Analysis? • Examine your purposefully crafted Imbedded Sentences. • Does the self-evident help explain your analysis? • Does the analysis connect to the detail? • Several of you have written imbedded sentences that are ONLY self-evident. (thus, not really imbedded) For example: When Old Milon cuts off the first soldier’s head, he hides the dead soldier at the bottom of the lake. There is no analysis in this sentence! How does cutting off the soldier’s head prove that he is _____ (trait)? Cutting off the first soldier’s head and sinking the remains to the bottom of the lake, Old Milon deviously hides his first murder in order to gather the props he will need to effectively carry out his revenge.

5. KISS! (Keep it simple, stupid! Not that any of you are stupid…) • Avoid lengthy/flashy language: in critical analysis, your goal is to communicate your problematic but accessible information using straight-forward detail/analysis constructions and then move on. NOT: “He gets revenge for the reason that the Prussians had previously killed his father and son.” BUT:“He seeks revenge on the Prussians for the deaths of his father and son.” NOT: “By acting like he was kind to the Prussian militia who came to live in his house, Milon was able to appear trustworthy…” BUT: “By obliging the Prussian militia who commandeered his house, Milon appeared trustworthy…” Keep your voice Active (s+v) not Passive.

6. Which takes us to WORD CHOICE Connotation - the associated or secondary meaning of a word or expression in addition to its explicit or primary meaning: A possible connotation of “home” is “a place of warmth, comfort, and affection.” (www.dictionary.com) • the IMPLIED meaning of a word (tone and mood are everything with connotation!) The connotation of a word is very important when selecting it as a synonym for your chosen character trait! Ex: Cunning = sly = devious = slick The roads were slickafter sleet fell for an hour. (slippery) Tony slickedhis hair back with gel before the dance. (smooth & glossy, sleek) Elle used slickpick up lines to get a date. (suave) BUT… Old Milon’s actions should not be considered slick! He does not SLICKLY do anything!

7. Final thoughts… 2. Avoid “This shows that…” “This proves…” etc. • If it comes at the beginning of the sentence, simply remove it and see if your analysis is clearly connected to the statement before it. • Commas go INSIDE quotation marks. In Guy de Maupassant’s story “Old Milon,” the title character’s most outstanding trait is his desire for vengeance.