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Yours, Mine ,Ours or Not?

Yours, Mine ,Ours or Not?. THE SCIENCE OF CUSTODY Heather McDonnell Sarah Lawrence College. The Obligation to Pay for College. Gamete One meets Gamete Two Somewhere, someplace, somehow Two gametes join and become one chromosome…. Occurs.

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Yours, Mine ,Ours or Not?

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  1. Yours, Mine ,Ours or Not? THE SCIENCE OF CUSTODY Heather McDonnell Sarah Lawrence College

  2. The Obligation to Pay for College • Gamete One meets Gamete Two • Somewhere, someplace, somehow • Two gametes join and become one chromosome….

  3. Occurs • Gamete One does not need to be married to Gamete Two for this obligation or chromosome to be created

  4. At the Moment of Conception • Gamete One can be the same as Gamete Two. • How both joined to become one is irrelevant. • IT’S YOUR chromosome.

  5. Definition of Parent • Has nothing to do with marriage • Has nothing to do with more than 50% support • Has nothing to do with relationships other than the one each parent has with the student • Has everything to do with your child’s future

  6. Parent?

  7. Catalog 12345 Specimen 456 Ethiopian architect 6’5”

  8. However….. Some things don’t last

  9. Homeless Youth • 1.7 million youth between ages 13-17 experience at least one episode of homelessness. • Runaways • Transitory • Unaccompanied • Street dependent

  10. Homeless Youth • Unaccompanied youth • Frequents a safe harbor • Night shelter • Food line/soup kitchen • Shelter services • All are easily documented

  11. Homeless Youth • Runaways • Transitory • Street dependent • Not so easy to document…..

  12. Circumstances change • Not all relationships make it… Not all families make it either…

  13. The Obligation • Does Last…..

  14. When Life Changes • The obligation must be understood by both parents. • This obligation is expected to be met when considering college expenses.

  15. The “UnParent” • Is this person really a “non” entity? • Is there contact? • Is there money exchanged? • Is there participation in school activities?

  16. The Ability to Pay • Same formula as the other parent • Same expectation to contribute • Same kid, different address • Supplement the complete family’s ability to pay for college expenses

  17. The Inability to Pay • Low or lost income • Other obligations • New family Whereabouts unknown……

  18. Third Party Documentation • Unbiased and disinterested person attests to the lack of support and/or involvement -someone who has nothing to gain by making such a statement Δ How disinterested is a school or college counselor?

  19. Willingness to Pay • Part of the decision to choose a college • Part of the discussion about going to college • The UnParent is partnered with student

  20. Unwilling to Pay • Supplant available resources? • Divorce/separation residual • A “silent” partner?

  21. Limited Resources • Colleges and universities do not have “spare” money • Our obligation is to get the money to the right student • Our commitment is to supplement the complete family’s ability to pay

  22. Final Word • Each college and university reacts to the dynamic family circumstance with an eye on the total resources available for all students

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