Bugs

1. Bugs Draw the body of the bug. Draw the head of the bug. Draw the legs of the bug. Draw the wings of the bug. Draw the eyes of the bug. Draw the antennas on the bug. Draw a tail with a stinger on the bug. Draw a second method of defense for the bug (the first method what the stinger.) Decorate the back of the bug.

2. Now give yourself a number grade on how well you think you did (1 really bad, 10 freaking awesome) • Now trade papers with someone else. Give a grade to your partners bug picture. • Exchange pictures again • Take a point off for everything that doesn’t match this BUG.

4. How Well Do You Listen? Like Him?

5. *Americans gain 90% of their information from listening *We can think 4-times faster than we can listen • 100-150 words spoken vs. 250-500 words heard *More than 75% of what we hear is heard incorrectly. We forget 75% of the 25% that we heard correctly within a matter of weeks. *We spend at least 80% of our day listening Considering these statistics, people would do well to improve their listening skills. FYI ON COMMUNICATION How well do you listen?

6. Active/Reflective Listening Is • The main purpose of active / reflective listening is to clarify what was said. • Listening attentively without interrupting and then restating what was heard. • The listener mirrors back the thoughts and/or feelings the speaker is experiencing. • “Are you saying …” “You seem …” • If the listener is wrong then the speaker can restate it in a different way. Group listen activity

7. Active Listening Skills Getting Around Listening Blocks • Stop talking and listen. • Let them finish before you begin. • Do not finish their sentences • Ask Open Ended questions • Closed: Are you feeling bad today? • Open: How are you feeling today? • Be in an appropriate environment to talk. • Remove all distractions. • Wait to offer advice until they ask for it. • Use appropriate eye contact. • 7 blinks in 10 seconds = listening

8. Look like you are interested. • Be honest and sincere • Pay attention to their facial expressions and tone of voice. • Watch for clues - It is not so much what they say as how they say it! • Don’t stand or sit too close. • This is a violation of personal space and makes the person uncomfortable. • If standing, face the person and let your arms rest at your side. • This translates as openness. Active Listening Skills (cont.)

9. If sitting, Don’t cross arms or legs or lean back. • These show lack of interest. • Touch your face with your hand from time to time. • This translates as thoughtful and contemplative. • Nod if you understand or ask for clarification. What would you say?

10. Boyfriend/Girlfriend to Partner: I’m so tired of you always choosing the activities that we do on dates. You never even ask me what I want to do, you just always expect me to like whatever you choose. I like being with you, but I also would like a say in what we do when we go out. • Active Listening Response: Now you try it with your table partner.

11. The Wright Family Story Sit in a circle, Indian style. Each person takes one piece of candy. You will pass it to the person to your right or left any time you hear the word right or left in the story.

12. Sounds & Noises • Lack of interest • Attitude • Lack of Concentration • Personal bias towards the subject • Thinking about something else – • mind wandering • Your mood • How you feel • The time of the day • The temperature • The speaker • Your mental set What Affects Our Ability to Listen?

13. More Listening Blocks • I must defend my position. • I’m looking for an entrance into the conversation. • I don’t have time to listen to you. • I already know what you have to say. • I know what you should do. GHOTI

14. Pair up – one speaker, one listener • Interview partner for 2 min. • Interviewers job is to encourage their partner to share information and feelings by using non-verbal signals and active listening skills. Practice

15. 1st Interview • Interviewer needs to find out where person was born, favorite subject in school, have they ever cheated on a test, and feelings about premarital sex. • Switch roles. 2nd Interviewer • New interviewer needs to find out how many siblings they have, hobby, have they ever stolen anything, and philosophy of kissing.

16. Were you distracted while listening? • Did you feel heard by your partner? • How did you feel in each role? • Do you feel like you know your partner better after this activity? • Was there anything you noticed during this activity that made you feel your partner was or wasn’t listening to you? Partners discuss and evaluate the interview and the observed listening skills.

17. “You lazy bum! Where is the math book I let you borrow?”

18. Describing someone else's behavior: • Creates barriers • Puts others down • Provokes anger, hurt, embarrassment • If you don’t ------, Then I will------- YOU Messages

19. Let’s others know how you feel • Expresses feelings without making people feel defensive • Opens up communication • Builds trust and respect • Focus on the action not the person • Removes criticism and blame I Messages

20. When I____________ • (see, hear, know, don’t…) • Describes the behavior • I feel________________ • Happy, sad, angry, doubtful, embarrassed, worried • Describes the feeling experienced because of the behavior • Because ________________ • Describes the effect it has on you • The tone of voice affects the I-message I Message Formula

21. “You lazy bum! Where is the math book I let you borrow?”

22. You always ignore me when you are around other friends. • You never listen to me so why should I even help you? • Keep your scummy hands off of my stuff! • You are such a lazy bum. You are either on the phone, watching TV, or gone. Start helping or find another place to live. • You’d better turn down that music. I can’t hear myself think. Practice a Couple More

23. HOKEY POKEY Move to an area that is easy to move in…